Guardian of our Secrets
by AbatedSerenity
Summary: Edward and Bella have secrets,but will they share what makes them mentally unstable,or at least thats what the docters say.This group of kids start to form a strange new bond"Are you crazy?"Edward asked"Are you?" I retorted with a smileE/b,A/J,EM/R,AllHUM
1. Opening page: Can I Sleep Please?

**BPOV**

It's almost 11:00 and I'm loathing every moment of Alice's dream. I love Alice but her fucking dreams staring Jasper are pissing me off. It's like watching a twisted horror, Jasper and Alice together was enough to make me mentally smack myself. Also, to top off that I'm lightly feeling every got dammed emotion she's having. I don't even want to get into details. What the FUCK. I want to get some sleep but it'll just be worst because then I'll live her dream and anyone else who is close enough to tamper my mind.

There are dreams that are; bearable, nauseous, plain old nasty, screwed up in every way possible, passionate, I love you dreams, minor horror, and many, many more. But the worst one overall, are the Nightmares which are the very reason I try to get sleep right after school. Alice gets nightmares on the rarest occasions but when she does, they are terrifying. They make my blood boil, tears form in my eyes, and sweat run down my body. I HATE THEM.

Charlie hardly dreams ever, well more like I never get to see his dreams because he's never home. He claims that his job keeps him on his toes, but the truth is that he's out there with some hoe. I don't care though, as long as both me and Alice never see the tramp, and there's no baby announcement.

"Fuck Alice stop" I banged the wall above my head franticly.

"Sorry Bella" she screamed in her small voice. I knew that movie they had was going to mess up my day. She dosed off into a dream about shopping, typical Alice but yes jasper was tagging along. It's hard to see someone so in love. I couldn't bring someone in my life because relationships means no lying, cheating, no secrets (ha and ha), I cant even continue because there's the deal breaker.

I could never tell my secrets I'm afraid if they know to much they'll run away screaming


	2. Only I Can Help Myself, I Am What I Am

**DC: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. It all belongs to Stephanie Meyer.**

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**EPOV**

I gave Carlisle a final glare before storming up the stairs into my room. Why would he set up a "Boys and Girls Group" at Forks High School. I already know what the fuck it really is; it's a group to support me with my mental instability and other kids. I already lived at multiple group homes dedicated in identifying and fixing our mental issues. In 'till Carlisle decided that he wanted to adopt me for some crazy reason I don't understand, and then there's lovely Esme. She was the only reason I left the living room with only a glare, I couldn't hurt her feelings it's like kicking a dog, just something you know you can't do.

Just because I can catch the vibe of some bodies mind, and maybe make out a few words they want to call me crazy. I'm sure I could do a lot more then just that, but I wouldn't try to, they might actually send me back to those fucking homes. I seen more fucked up people then me in that place and that's saying a lot.

I rushed to my backpack and grabbed my cell phone and dialled the only number that would be as pissed off as me."Speak" he said in the most unconcerned way "Jasper there starting some dam mind work shop at the High School and guess who has front seats"

"Don't be messing around, I swear you'll regret it" Jasper yelled into the phone.

"I'm serious they'll be taking people out of one class tomorrow to introduce us to the program" I stated.

"Wow and they probably think I'm messed up because I chill with you" he said this irritated.

"What the hell are you talking about your as messed up as me" I yelled into the phone.

"Well they don't have to know that; first they try and tell me to talk to people, no mingle was their word. Now they go and put us in a group to tell us how different we are, like we need any more got dam reminders." He was infuriated. Good, he better be pissed because I'm not going to this shit alone.

"Edward please stop yelling were doing what's best for you" Esme yelled. He's lucky he used Esme because if he didn't I had a whole load of things I wanted to say.

"I'm out, I'll pick you up like always" I said with my teeth clenched, the fiery was finally starting to reach my voice.

"All right man" he said quietly trying to calm down. Jasper could get dangerous when he was mad. All that time he spent in the army really fucked him up bad. The phone hanged up and I jumped in my bed, but only after locking the door. No way were they going to come up and try to tell me how much they could help me help myself, bullshit.

I turned off the lamp and looked at the clock, 12:00. Now I'm going to be tired and pissed, lovely.

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BPOV

_Beep, beep, beep_. I cringed into my pillow I hate that thing with a passion. I got up slowly to smack the off button, take that. I hate mornings, it just reminds me about how tired I am, and today is no different. Plus were going back to Forks High School and I'm not exactly excited to be there. A Week at this school, new rich neighbourhood, and I still feel the same.

"it's going to help you Bella, there are some kids there with similar problems. There sending a few to that school for a new program. It's going to help you and Alice" my ass. It's been a week and still no program maybe, just maybe, they finally figured out that you can't help people who don't want to be helped. Or more like I'm convinced they can't help. They immediately think Alice and I are crazy and we need help. If they could possibly help me don't think I would be better by now, it's been years since both Alice's and my discovery.

I finished up in the bathroom and walked down stairs to Alice making breakfast, now I wished I got up the first time the clock went off, Alice is great at many things but she should leave the cooking to me.

"Bella have a seat! I made muffins and coffee" she announced in her bright and early voice.

"Thank you Miss. Sunshine" I said, I can't stay mad at Alice you have to love her.

"Umm sorry about yesterday. It's just that we went to the movie's an-" I broke her off mid sentence.

"Don't, I know" I yawned and bit into the muffin. It was soft, no too soft, it wasn't done cooking. "You should have kept it in longer; I'll help you next time" I said between each chew. I was trying to make it sound better then it tasted.

"Come on let's just go to school!' Alice smiled at me. How could she be so happy after what I just said, she'll have to teach I me sometime.

When we pulled into the parking lot and never got any glares. They learned the first time not to look, on the first day some bitch name Jessica cut her eyes at Alice I went off.

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_"Is there something you're fucking looking at? I don't see a kick me sign on her back, so you better train your eyes to stare at the floor when she's around. Or I will happily fix them for you!" I kept my focus on her eyes daring her to speak back. She did nothing but look down, good girl._

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We walked into the school and I headed to biology and Alice went to geography. People always wondered why we were in the same class but not twins. When Renee, my mom and Charlie, her dad first met they immediately hit off. They loved each other and since they both had daughters they thought we would make the perfect family. At first we were happy into Renee decided she loved another man named Phil. I refused to go with her because Alice and I had to stick together after our accident so Renee went her way and we went ours. We still keep in touch through email but that's enough, she always wants updates about my condition and as far as I'm concerned there are no updates. I am what I am.

The teacher was setting a seating plan for the New Year and I was sent to the back table. I sat beside the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on. He had deep green eyes and I felt like I could stare at them for days. Then I noticed I was staring at them because he focused on my eyes like he was looking for something. I felt my cheeks burning so I sat down fast and put my hair down to hide my face.

Then not more then 5 minutes the speaker went off. **"Sorry for the disturbance. Could the following students meet in the counselling room. The students are Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Edward, Emmett, and Isabella. Thank you"** _click_. I got up and pushed my books in my bag when I noticed something. The Angel beside me was getting up to, how could something so gorgeous have a problem that makes people think they need intense looking after? (babysitting) He looked at me shocked as well, but quickly took the look off his face and began walking. I had no choice but to follow.


	3. I Met An Angel Today

**EPOV**

Jasper was really quiet on the way to school and that was how I liked it. He knew that I didn`t want to talk about the Counselling Program, that's what the psychologist and other doctor's from the Hospital decided to call it.

Carlisle said "they wanted to make it sound more welcoming. The psychologist main concern is that everyone has an unspoken self agreement onto why their there".

Translated to, it's a mental instability program designed to identify your problem and help you overcome or fix it. We changed the name so that you would accept that your there for a certain reason. We also hope that this will make you more comfortable and that you won't protest to being here. What a change right?

We Pulled up at the school and parked beside a yellow Porsche, Alice's Porsche. Jasper's face instantly brightened before he picked up his head to scam the parking lot for her, he stopped to glance at me, I just returned a nod and he bolted off to look for her. I don't know much about his mistress other than he liked her more then he liked himself, which was easy to say under the circumstances. He also told me on numerous occasions – since the week she moved in – that she seemed to daze off sometimes to a place that he couldn't reach her. Jasper said that he would let it slide because like he and I both know, we hate it when people pry.

I started to walk to first period biology which was weird because they changed the schedule to accumulate for an assembly. When I finally got to the classroom – not that I was rushing – I saw a girl with dark brown hair pacing outside the door she had her hood up and face down, it looked like she was deciding on whether or not to go in. For some spontaneous reason I wanted to run my hands down the hair poking out of her hoodie but I thought better of it because why the fuck would I want to do some shit like that.

Mr. Barren was changing the seating plan today but I stayed at my old spot way, way, way in the back. He knew that he shouldn't move me from where I already sat and if he had I would gladly change my "don't give a fuck attitude" to "your worst nightmare".

Then the girl from outside the door sat right beside me, go figure. I was about to see if I could move to another seat but when I turned to get up my eyes locked with hers. Those eyes held me capture I felt like there was something I should be searching yet the more I looked the deeper they got. Her eyes were wide and a deep shade of brown but then I noticed something, she was looking back at me with the same intenseness with her eyes. At that instant her cheeks depended with a blush before she broke the gaze and turned away. She sat down rather quickly and pushed her hair down to form a wall between us and I hated it with a passion.

Before I even got to decide that I shouldn't fucking care the speaker went off **"Sorry for the disturbance. Could the following students meet in the counselling room. The students are Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Edward, Emmett, and Isabella. Thank you"** click. I swore under my breath before getting my bag off my chair but what the fuck, the girl beside was packing her books back into her bag too but suddenly she looked up with the most puzzled look. I must have had a shocked look on my face so I cleared it with my most professional blank look and walked off. Wow, could she really be messed up like me something really fucked up must have happened if she's in the program. Wait I wonder what her name is _"The students are Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Edward, Emmett, and Isabella"_. Well she can't be Alice so it's ether Rosalie or Isabella, for some absurd reason I was obsessing over her name, I wanted to know her name. If I don't get a fucking grip of myself this is going to be harder then it already fucking is.

Is she behind me? I spared a quick glance behind my shoulder and there she was with her hood down and if I was right, following slowly behind me. Oh, didn't Jasper say that Alice had a sister maybe that was her, she must be following me to the counselling room. I should say something to her; actually I better not, if she's like me that's the last thing I would want. Some fucking stranger talking to me and on top of that some motherfucking crazy fucker too, how delightful.

I turned the last hallway and opened the door; I wasn't brought up like some asshole so I held it open for her. She nodded at me but kept her face down, was that some kind of insecurity of hers?

Then the room hit me like a smack in the face. There was a woman in the middle of the circle I suppose she is the psychologist, oh and how lovely we were the last to arrive and everyone was waiting for us. Time for your seat belts ladies and gents, this is going to be a bumpy ride.

I took the last seat beside Jasper and what I assumed to be Emmett. Emmett was huge and had short black curly hair, he looked like he could put up a dam good fight and who ever got into a fight with him was going to have some bruises. I held out my hand and Jasper bumped it with his, his face was arranged to look like he was bored but I could see that their was more to his expression. You wouldn't notice it if you weren't looking but he looked pissed off, sad, and if I wasn't mistaken he looked like he was searching for something. Before I could even ask what the hell was up a voice interrupted me.

"Hello everyone, my name is Mrs. Jewel but you should all call me Mrs. J. You are here to get help with personal problems you each have in your life. I know that everyone here has each had a psychologist, and he or she has announced that your situation would need some extreme dedication to fix. They also told me that the reason why nether of you had made any progress was because you refused to listen and get the help that you needed" Mrs. J paused to look us all in the eyes as if to make what she just said sink in.

"Now, I'm here to help you guys with that problem. I work differently then most psychologists and have had a reputation for a laid back approach. I believe that if you truly think that no one can help you with your problem you can't be helped by being forced to" Mrs. J got up to pace the room. What does she mean by she has a reputation for being laid back? How the fuck could you be laid back, you're a got dam psychologist.

"Excuse me but what the hell do you mean laid back what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" The Blondie with a huge attitude asked. I might have called her beautiful if there wasn't something so stock up about her.

"Well what I mean by laid back is that I chose to make you help your self, like what I already said if you weren't listening properly. Is that I can't help you make a choice you stubbornly placed in your head. I only set an example or a rule that you have to basically follow through the time limit it is placed, and you are by all means expected to follow it on every circumstance" She said this with so much power that I didn't even chose to reject, although I didn't have to.

BPOV

I had to stop her there, what the hell does she mean we have rules to follow?

"When you say rules, what do you mean? Are they rules like keep your hands to yourself or some shit like that?"I asked with utter curiosity.

"By rules I mean once a week or every couple of days you are assigned a little project. Nothing that you do in school but something I expect to be done. This is the only thing I ask of you, the only rule. I don't need to tell you to keep your hands to your self because if you would listen to that I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be here." She smiled. Only one rule, I bet it's something you don't want to do because it sure as hell can't be something easy, unless she wouldn't expect it so strongly to be done. Alice spoke up then.

"You mean like something I don't want to do and you're sure that we wouldn't want to, so that's why we are expected to do it under any circumstance? Am I right?" she spoke with such fluency you would think she knows exactly what was coming up. I on the other hand played more attention to what her response would be because unlike everyone else in the room I knew that when Alice spoke you should make sure to listen.

"Yes that's exactly what I mean," Jewel paused "and today the project is to speak to each other and don't think I'm stupid. I will know if you haven't done it because at the end of each week or when ever I call upon you, I want a update on how things are going" she said this with so much determination.

"I will be in the office behind you and don't expect me to stay through the whole time being. I prefer to linger in the background, is that a problem?" she paused and waited.

The room fell silent no way was anyone going to object to that. I had no problem with being left alone but I may hit some bumps with talking to people I didn't know, that wasn't exactly my thing. She walked to the office door at the back of the room and before going in she said.

"Don't wait for me by all means do whatever you want just don't leave the room" she smiled once more and disappeared behind the door.

Was she really going to leave us in the room and expect us to behave our selves? She must have a really different agenda if she thinks that's going to work but to my amazement it did. No one even fidgeted in their seat but we all shared glances at the door, it would only take about ten steps to reach it and just a few more muscles to pick up your hand and turn the knob to get out. Then out of thin air someone had the nerve to break the silence and when I say that I mean they practically yelled.

"So I'm Emmet and stop me if I go to far….but was I the only one who thought Mrs. J was hot?" he spoke this with a smirk on his face.

"Not as hot as me I'm sure" Rosalie said like she was the best thing walking. Although she did make me feel simple, not ugly though because I'm far from that.

"Jasper what…I mean why are you here?" Alice asked in a daze.

"Alice I could ask you the same thing" Jasper said this with only mild curiosity almost like he wasn't surprised.

"Jasper I was going to tell you about my umm…issue but were you going to tell me about yours?" I felt like I was intruding on their conversation there was something so intimate about it that I got up and paced through the room. I guess it wasn't only me who thought so because everyone slowly made their way out their seats also. I couldn't help but notice Rosalie gawking at what I know now as Edward. She was looking at him expectantly like she was slightly amused by something and while she was looking at him; Emmet was undressing her with his eyes. I felt disturbed; I felt the need to say something just to remove her gaze from him so I spoke up.

"If you don't mind me asking what is such a pretty girl doing in a place like this? I mean you don't seam problematic."

"I don't think that is any of your business. By the way pretty is a fucking understatement" she growled. I have to admire her attitude she has so much confidence it was written all over her, on any other day I would have let this go, to bad today wasn't any other day.

"Well I was just implying that everyone is here for a reason and since you're here your not a fucking exception. Oh and pretty was an understatement you are beautiful to bad he doesn't give a fuck" I inclined my hand toward Edward.

"Wow I love your attitude I don't meet many girls who would talk back to me and as for Edward I was just amusing my mind." She snickered sinisterly.

"Please don't talk about me like I'm not fucking here Rosalie and your not my type I prefer brunettes, blonde bomb shells don't quite do it for me" He smiled this gorgeous crocked smile and this may sound like BS but I almost melted, he looks like a Greek god something artists draw as their impression of a angel. Back the hell up did he say he prefers brunettes I'm a got dammed brunette! Yes I am….does that mean he likes me? No he must have been just getting back at her I could only dream that he would want me. Do I like Edward, I didn't even say anything to him but apparently I didn't need to.

"Hey I'm Edward Cullen you must be Isabella, Alice's sister" He held out his hand and of course I placed my hand in his.

"Please call me Bella, and yes I am her sister" I smiled, why was I being so polite? Oh right, because he's breathtaking. He's a green eyed bronze hair, Greek Good. That's exactly why I was being so polite.

"Well I'm Jasper's friend, I would introduce him to you if you didn't already know him and…. He wasn't busy" He scratched his head. His hair was moving all over the place. It was a beautiful contrast to his place skin. I wanted to run my hands through the thick mess.

"Yea, I didn't stay because I thought I was intruding if that doesn't sound stupid" I said this tensely.

"I felt like that to that's why I can't stand being around them sometimes I feel so out of place" Wow that's so cute.

"Please don't get offended or any thing but you did say that we were all here for a reason" he paused checking if it was okay to continue I nodded.

"Are you crazy?" Edward asked "Are you?" I retorted with a smile. "Define crazy" he said unleashing the dazzling crocked smile on me.

"I have been told I was crazy, well mentally unstable if you must" I crocked my head to the side.

"I have been told that also, seems like we have something in common Bella…."he dragged the last word.

"Swan, Bella swan," I finished for him. "And it seems that we do". Then so help me god that dam teacher came out of the room.

"That's it not to be rude but you guys really do have to get out now, but please come see me. Ether way I will be seeing you." She left the room with that.

"I guess I'll see you at the next…..Hell meet then?" he said and please don't break my heart he sounded as sad as I felt.

"I guess so" I grabbed my backpack from the chair I was sitting at and plied Alice away from Jasper.

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**Please leave a comment!!!!!!:p**


	4. Demons in the Shadows of our Lives

**DC: I do not own anything twilight**

**BPOV**

I was just lying back in my bed thinking about the meet, who would think Mrs. J' s approach would be well not an approach at all. I didn't expect to find it so….. Umm… I don't know what to say? All I could think about was Edward and how he looked like a freaking Greek God with an amazing smile, it taunted me through the rest off the day. It's clear that he held some what of an interest for me I mean who would just walk up to me, because I dam sure don't walk around with the word welcome all over me.

After School when I met Alice I was Debating on whether or not to ask her how things went out with jasper but if she wanted to talk about it I'm sure she would bring it up. Alice wasn't the type to hold back things and if she needed me no doubt she would barge in. I finally got some sleep because Alice fell into a dreamless sleep last night and that freaked me out, it meant that she was trying not to, that she was begging not to, or she just never had one. With Alice I could never be sure sometimes she would try her best to block her dreams because she didn't want to share or see; what she her self was thinking, what she's scared to see, or even sometime's what she really doesn't want to see. Alice hates intuition when it isn't welcome some days she would come into my room asking to protect her from her dreams.

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I was eight years old then and I heard a light tape on the door and got off my bed to get it.

"Bella are you in there?" Alice whispered from the other side of the door.

"I'm coming Alice" I took the last steps to the door and saw a scared little girl.

"Alice what are you doing here?" I asked her with suspicion; we weren't supposed to be up at this time of night.

"Bella I can't sleep in there by myself I don't like the feeling I get while I'm in there, it's like something's going to happen and I don't know what" I hugged her and closed the door back softy and told her it was okay. This was new to me she was the one to tell me it was okay and that everything would be better in the morning even then we didn't believe it.

"When I fall asleep and you start to feel that way you do wake me up straight away okay?" she stared at me wanting a answer I nodded and told her to just sleep I was watching out for her.

I never did get to sleep that night as soon as my head started to daze off and it was more like the feeling of a deep sleep I would push my self to stay up. Deep sleep was never any good to me I could be dragged down so deep I didn't know where the surface was. When Alice started to turn and I felt uneasy I would roughly wake up Alice and she would cry in my shoulder but I would cry with her because I knew how it felt, I knew what it was like to be scared. Not because of sleeping or what you might see but the fact that there was no explanation to any of it….you couldn't explain the things you saw and you didn't want to.

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I would remember that day for the rest of my life only Alice would cry with me and understand what I talked about, I loved her for that.

When I was done making breakfast with Alice we sat down and ate in silence but it was a comfortable silence something that happened often and it was what it was and nothing else. After I put the plates in the dish washer we had time to kill since we woke up so early and I went to my room. I was putting on my clothes when Alice came in with out knocking just like she always did never needing an invitation. She went to my closet and picked out a whole different outfit throwing it down on my bed but picked up her head daring me to protest.

"I don't know why I just know that you want to look presentable but not anything out of the ordinary, that's why your wearing your own clothes and not mine" she looked back at me before leaving the room and said "I love him and he loves me to but there's something he won't tell me, but who am I to ask because there's a list of what I'm not ready to say" she closed the door.

I didn't go after her there was no point if she didn't know I could only guess. I looked at the clothes and put them on taking a look at the mirror on my door, Who would I want to impress I like Edward but I don't change myself for crushes they never stay long. I was wearing jeans, a baby doll top, and I put on low wedge black mini heels to match. I never said I wasn't pretty but the girl in the mirror looked hollow she was missing some extravagant piece to set off her wardrobe.

When we arrived at school the schedule was back in order and I was going to have biology after lunch like always there was no point to school who wanted to work with someone who had a bad health history anyway. Alice didn't leave me in the hall way like she usual did instead she tagged along into we got to the locker just staring at me before finally walking to class. I know what she was doing tying to figure out her own thoughts, if only I knew my own.

Everything went past slowly, really slowly I swear I could break that fucking clock just mocking me telling me today was going to be shitty. I watched it turn 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… The bell went off and so was I, I ran to get through the door before everyone else but of course I tripped at the door but thankfully I didn't fall I just landed into this orange haired boy.

"Hello I didn't expect an angel to fall into my hands today, so you must be sent from above" he smiled at me.

"Yes your right I was sent from above and your time is up, where's your stop up or down?" I smirked but picked up my backpack impatiently.

"So you're death? I would happily die if you were the one sending it" He smiled even brighter so I walked away although sure enough he followed me.

"So where are you sitting? By the way I'm Mike" He held his hand out and I stared at it was I supposed to touch it?

"Bella, I'm sitting with my sister and Angela but I suppose you can come to" I hope he says no.

"Why I would love that, thanks for the offer" he walked to my table as soon as we got in, so he's been watching me, no deal bud you're not my kind of guy. I like the ones with bronze hair and crooked smiles.

Speak of the Archangel and he shall appear taking his seat at the most excluded table at the far lunch room wall, and may I say Edward is some kind of new eye candy. I saw jasper sit down not to long after but I didn't even have to mention that Jasper looked deal as hell, he looked like something out of a horror, the last kid alive and he's so scared he just waits for the monster to get him. Alice took her seat beside me and glared at Mike before glancing at Jasper and closing her eyes.

"Newton what brings you here today I'm sure we could help you find somewhere more pleasing to sit" her eyes were still closed.

"Alice I was just going to invite Bella to a movie you could come if you'd like?" He tried to look sincere and I wasn't buying it.

"Mike I know were you should go now!" I chirped happily.

"And where could that be my Bella?" Mike was taken back by my pleasantness.

"Down, in a hole far away where no one has to hear you stupid pathetic attempts to hook up" I paused for build up then added "Oh, and Mike my dear friend call me your Bella again and you'll be my bitch. Trust me I can make it happen" I batted my eye lashes.

"I'd be both yours and Alice's bitch, now just teach me a lesson-" he was cut off.

"Hey Newton get over here" Jasper yelled across the room.

"Coming just give me one sec" He yelled back at jasper.

"I said now" Jasper said simply.

Mike just nodded and made his way over to the table. Alice's eyes were open in a flash when she jumped up to stop Newton from walking over to him.

"No Jasper I was going to make him leave anyway I was just finding a way to do it with out having to speak…." She trailed off balling her little fist. Jasper stared at her with out responding he was trying so hard to not get up but Alice walked past him rubbing his hair on the way out the cafeteria. He didn't let it go there though he sent Mike a restrained threat and put his head on the table. I never noticed Edward into he got up to walk after Alice. Angela didn't know what to do so she just fumbled in her seat; I told her it was okay to leave with an unspoken pat on the back.

After that I started walking over to jasper before I could even stop my self but I sat across from him not wanting to break personal space rules by sitting next to him.

"Jasper I don't know what's going on between you and Alice but I know that she doesn't want to lose you….I don't know why you both are so dead but do you notice how you share the same moods? She just needs to get her thoughts together she needs to know what she's doing. I'm not Alice so I can't speak for her but she's the strongest person I know, she's my best friend and my sister." He lifted his head to slightly smile at me.

"I'll wait for her I just want to protect her, I want to love her and I don't want to keep secrets…."I smiled at him then.

"But secrets are what you know. Give her them she'll protect them for you" I didn't look at him because tears were pooling in my eyes so I pushed my chair back and put my head on the table too. Bloody fucking demons in the shadows of our lives, I think Edward has them and like Alice I want to share them too, but will I give myself up and let go? I can't reach him he is the juicy apple of which I refuse to bite.

EPOV

I kept my conversation with Alice a secret from Jasper although he pleaded for it but stopped when I said she asked me to. I grew to like Alice in the conversation we had she was like a little sister to me a pixie on my shoulder, She was dead inside withering softly but not falling away so that's when I decided I liked her only as a friend. Alice was strong and small but she held the world in her hand - Jasper's world - and she wasn't going to make the sun burn it.

Alice told me she walked out because she couldn't stand the look on his face when she said to stop. I only knew that he was planning on seriously hurting Mike Newton when he said the words that could make him give up everything he's worked for, that shit wasn't even right it was down right fucked up. I didn't get to hear the whole story because I was picking up Jasper's vibes; I knew there was something wrong but he wouldn't let me pick it up he just kept growing his anguish around me and I couldn't help but like the numb.

To feel nothing but the light buzz in my head telling me I should listen in on the radio station in my head. It was clearly telling me that I should listen to what they were saying at Bella's table and since especially Mike was there I wanted to but the numb felt so good. I couldn't help the feeling telling me that I didn't want to hear that; for once I could refuse to listen.

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When I got to biology late after running back from my car, the result of wanting the numb feeling to last for a little longer I was taken for all my money when I got a good look at Bella. Bella had on jeans that made her legs look like fucking sex, her shoes made her legs look even more lean and sexy, whereas her shirt flowed down her body hugging her at her chest before falling and caressing her body. Her outfit made me jealous I wanted to be those jeans or her top holding her body.

I sat down beside her and she passed a note to me, wait she passed a note to me?

Edward,

The counselling session in now after school and sometimes we will be pulled out of a class for a extra meet. Mrs. Jewel told me to tell you.

Bella

Fuck I hope no one saw the look on my face I'm not in the mood to kick someone's ass. I placed my hand on her lower back and put my lips to her ear to whisper "Thanks for the update". I know it wasn't a lot but gestures are very intimate and due to the spark running in my hand I wanted to pull her in closer but no fucking way was I doing that she was just a girl, a fuck, a one shot. I can't believe I'm saying this but I didn't believe a fucking thing I just said I don't want her to be that.

This Bella was sure to have demons lurking around her and she doesn't need mine to fuck her up more, but those jeans told me she could take it. I've done a few fucked up things in my life, made my share of mistakes but despite all this I could still feel the spark on my hand so I pulled away taking in a breath of her hair, Strawberries.

The rest of the class was stiff so I had to fight the urge to talk to Bella I can't bring her any closer then she already was I haven't even really spoken to her.

The Bell went off and I rushed out of the class room I couldn't do this shit I wanted to take her to my car like the fucked up guy I was and I knew that she would follow me. So I ended up skipping the rest of my classes in my car by my self thinking about Bella's outfit and what I would never do.

In this world of mine Bella was the North Star and I was stuck in a never ending twilight, I saw the horizon between the night and day and it was Beautiful. I was stock in the darkness and she was the only light to guide my way, to bad the sun won't set and let the night be. My Midnight Sun.

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**Leave me a review!!!!! I'm sorry Edwards POV was short I really needed to let those tears of Bella's break lose a little:P**

**Edwards says nice jeans!!!!**

**Bella would like more eye candy!!!!!!!!  
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	5. Everything Looks so Pale

**DC: I do not own anything twilight...... sadly**

**BPOV**

When the bell rang I got up from my chair and started to rapidly blink away the tears forcing to come out again. I can't believe I was just fucking crying I can't remember the last time I cried and it wasn't even over Edward it was that fact that if I wanted him I wouldn't reach out to get him. There was no way anyone deserved to get involved in my demented life to be sucked in the darkness where there was only a spot of light refusing to grow brighter.

"Isabella, Isabella!" I turned around trying to find the voice that was screaming my name across the dam school who the hell would do something dumb like that? Apparently Mrs. J was that person.

"Yea, Mrs. J?" I narrowed my eyes at her what the hell could she want?

"The Counselling has been changed to after school and sometimes I will call all of you in during class. I wouldn't want any of you to get behind in and since you have Biology with Edward could you pass along the message?" she stared right back into my eyes.

"I guess I could do that" She narrowed her eyes even more at me but I dismissed anything else she was going to say by turning back around to walk away.

Here I was trying to avoid Edward and she was pushing me back towards him, there must be a black hole around him because sucking me in would surely lead to trouble. When I finally got to Biology and sat down I started to write a note instead of speaking to him no need to tighten the pull. Edward came in right before Mr. Barren began the lesson and I couldn't help but look at him, he was looking at my legs with the weirdest look in his eyes. I self consciously looked down to find a big stain or something but nothing was wrong he was still looking me up and down when he took his seat beside me. I wanted him to stop but there was something I liked about him looking at me which caused me to hate and love it all at the same time.

The note was still in my hand but I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to know what he saw that was making him look at me with appeasing eyes. Yes that was the look he held in his eyes, did he like what he saw? I would have to thank Alice graciously for the heads up because I defiantly wouldn't have liked it if that look was disapproving, I would have smacked myself.

It's probably a better idea to not say anything, I liked the rep I made for myself I wanted everyone at a distance and talking to him publicly would surly mess it up. My hand was placing the note on his desk and he was watching speculating the movement with furrowed eyes. Edward took the not with out asking why and read it, his eye brows slowly made their way back to normal when he leaned into me to a place a hand on my lower back. Edward leaned in more to put his lips right before my ear to whisper "Thanks for the update". I was so stunned I didn't even notice the shock coming from his hand on my back so when he removed it I shivered from the lost of contact.

What the fuck was he doing touching me? One little conversation and he thought he knew me enough to place his hands on me but the alarming thing was that I liked it, I fucking liked it. What the hell was I doing he's just some teenage boy who thought the gesture was safe. On any other day I would have flinched away from his touch but I didn't.

I think he noticed something was up because he tensed in his seat after he pulled away. The class was dead after that I tried to concentrate on making notes but I couldn't help but notice Edward taking deep breaths and after that the only thing I heard was his breathing so much for the notes. As soon as the bell rang I figured he was going to bolt for the door so I took my time getting my things ready there was no way I was going to bolt for gym. I sucked at anything that had to do with some serious movement of the body I could hardly walk on flat surfaces with out tripping there was just no way around it. Gym was hell after awhile everyone gave up on trying to include me, even Mike stayed out of my way and he was my partner for the tennis game.

When Phys. Ed was done Alice was waiting for me by her car.

"Bella was I right about the clothes?" she still seemed pretty agitated.

"The clothes were fine Edward was gawking at me through Biology class" I smiled at her trying to enlighten the mood.

"Edward Cullen, Jasper's best friend right?" That got her attention.

"Yea we talked a little in the program but don't get giddy or anything you know I won't push it to anything more" I sighed.

"There's no way I could be giddy after the day I just had. I need to talk to Jasper and find out how things are going to go from here. We talked about just letting things be but that's hard when I have to stop speaking because the conversation is getting to personal and I don't want to hit his closet" Alice started to pace back towards the school.

"Alice when you left I talked to him, I never said anything juristic but he doesn't know how to be open he's just like you Alice he doesn't want to hurt you. Jasper must have secrets to". I was trying to get her attention again.

"I know that's why we both decided to take things slow but I love him Bella I don't want to see him in pain. I want to be there for him but he's pushing me away and for the first time in my life I don't know what to do. What I'm saying is hypocritical too because I can't just jump out and tell him my life story but I want to, Bella I want to let him in" There was something so wrong in seeing Alice this way, pain didn't fit her attire.

"Alice I would say I know but I haven't been in love. You'll find the way you always do and no matter what he'll be waiting, there's no on else better for my sister" I grabbed Alice into a hug and I wasn't lying when I said there was no one better for her, because in truth who could help someone in pain then someone who's been there.

When we got to the counselling room I waited for Alice to calm her self down when she finally did I opened the door with absolutely no enthusiasm. The room was painted a pale cream and there was a couch in the corner of the room, everything else looked out of place; the chairs a lined in a circle, the desk with some snacks on it, and ex-speciously the teenagers. You could tell no one was thrilled to be there everyone looked tired and impatient.

Rosalie seemed out of it, like she was thinking about something completely far away. Rosalie was no doubt hands down the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Her hair was blonde and swayed down her back in lose curls, her legs were long and she had the perfect shape I bet men fall to their knees when Rosalie's around. It almost hurt to look at her but I didn't feel self conscious there was no point to feel bad about something you could never change and I didn't want to because who wants to look the same anyways?

Emmet was huge he could hardly fit in his chair almost like he could crush it with one wrong move; Emmet was in a sense unapproachable he looked mean and scary but all at the same time nice. I am clueless other then to say he was a teddy bear with a biker outfit on, Emmet was cute but scary all at the same time.

I tried to review Jasper but there wasn't much I could say other then he looked dead and tired just like Alice. Jasper was intimidating I have no idea how Alice could have just walked up to him with out hesitating or looking back. I didn't bother to look at Edward he was gorgeous and off limits, not taken, but not mine. Everyone was in the same seats as last time it was Jasper, Edward, Emmet, Rosalie, me, and then Alice. The contrast was so high that I didn't even try and break it but like yesterday I didn't have to.

"I'm happy to see that you all showed up. I was expecting something more on the lines of kicking and screaming but I'm pleased to see that hasn't happened." Mrs. J smiled when she took her seat at the head of the circle.

"I was going to ask how things went on my assignment……but why do that when I can just make it happen. Not that you haven't done it but because if I let this separating of the group go on, this will go no where" she turned her chair around, climbed up and placed her right leg on the top of the chair.

"What does this position mean to you guys?" She questioned us.

"It's a position of power" Alice spoke up

"And why is that. I'm just standing on it what's so empowering about that?"

"It's not just that your standing on it, we are encircling you sitting down and you are the only one standing which means you are the head, you hold the power spot. And because you are the only one standing our attention is forced to you." Edward was saying this while looking quite amused.

"That's a great explanation Edward. Now tell me why everyone else is so far apart from each other you can't honestly tell me that this wasn't done purposely now can you?" this was her time to be amused.

No body said anything in response we just stared at each other and refused to move in closer.

"Wow, I like this group you guys didn't even budge. I want everyone to call me Jewel instead of Mrs. J I feel so unwelcome. No one likes teachers and I'm a psychologist it's so formal to call me Mrs instead of my real name." So she wants us to call her Jewel next thing she'll want top be our best friend to. They're all the same they want you to open up to them and tell them you're dying secrets, how lame Jewel wants to be my friend.

"Rosalie what's you problem? I know that I said I wouldn't ask you for it but I know they're all curious on to why you're here." Jewel was still standing on the chair in the same position.

"I like to be in intimate situations." Rosalie smirked, it looked so wrong on her face.

"Well that's nice. I mean intimate situations it feels good to have someone hold you doesn't it? To have someone show you that side of them self, to have someone let their guard down with you?"

"No you're making it sound like love I'm just there for the sex" Rosalie spat back but Jewel didn't flinch, it was almost like Jewel counted upon that response.

"Aw yes, just for the sex" J smiled and sat back down in her chair.

I fucking hate her smiling like everything's okay Rosalie just told her that she's a sex addict and she smiles, but of course she already knew that before so she must be giving the guys a heads up.

"Why the fuck do you smile for that. She likes sex, no loves it and you smile what the fuck is up with that" I popped the question no need to hold back.

"I'm Right fucking here and there's nothing wrong about sex you should try it you look a little tense" Rose screeched at me.

"Did I say something was wrong with sex or did I ask why was she's fucking smiling. Listen to what I'm saying" I yelled back at her. Sure she scares me a little but what the hell dose she think this is.

"I smiled because she didn't take my observation for a closing Rosalie openly made her point while smashing what I said altogether. I like that she doesn't care about anything but Rose should care about her self," Jewel with held before saying "I have a new assignment for everyone. Get up"

"Don't act like you can't here me get up and move to the back of the room!" jewel demanded that we get up and she wasn't smiling I guess she wants us to take her seriously. Alice was the first to get up and move to the back of the room but she grabbed my hand making me follow her. I didn't get to see who got up next but before I knew it I was standing beside Mr. Mountain him self.

"We are going to play a game to get to know each other better the tension is so high in this room you could really cut it with a knife" Jewel got off the chair only to move to couch in the corner."When I say something and it applies to you step forward. It's kind of like the game I never but there's no alcohol got it?"

The room was silent.

"I'll take that for a yes then. The first question is have you ever gotten into a fist fight?"

I got into a fist fight in grade 9 with a girl named Leah in Phoenix we hated each other with a deep passion, I would have taken any chance to fight her and when it came up I took it. So I took a step forward and so did Jasper, Edward, Rosalie and of course Emmet the only person left was Alice.

"Ok then how about umm……smoking?" jewel was interrogating us.

To my surprise no one stepped forward, not even Emmet I thought he would have at least done something like that.

"Parked the car?" I knew what she meant by that she's talking about parking the car on a date.

Both Rosalie and Emmet stepped forward for that one. I've always thought that parking the car was disgusting I mean people sit in there for hours driving and I know most people don't wipe down the inside of their car afterwards.

"How about drugs, any kind of drugs, even pharmacy drugs?" Jewel asked us with upraised eye brows.

Dam why did she have to go and ask that? I took pharmacy drugs in hopes of falling to sleep, a dreamless sleep not just mine but every ones. I stepped forward and so did everyone else even Alice took pharmacy drugs but she took them to stay awake and not fall asleep. One word could explain that, nightmares. I wasn't shocked to see Edward there I knew that he wasn't literally an angel but I couldn't help but gasp, I took a minute to take in what he was wearing. Edward had on dark blue jeans and a black hoodie, he looked like a bad boy and that drew me in as much as it pushed me away and that's when I realized the game was going to take a deadly turn. Mrs. Jewel was making us share our demons and we didn't even notice.

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**Tell me what you think about the chapter!!!!!  
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	6. Why So many Questions?

**Im sorry this took so long....I had alot of other things to do:(**

**But here it is!!1**

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EPOV

"How about drugs any kind of drugs, even pharmacy drugs?" in addiction to the question she raised her eyebrows.

Did I ever take drugs? What a question to ask such a fine young gentlemen like myself. I took pharmacy drugs like pain killers, sleeping pills and maybe Heroine. Although I tend to think twice while in the same room as Heroine, never a great to choice to mix danger with a bad idea. I used pain killers to feel numb because feeling nothing is my top priority on my 'things to do list'.

Emotions

I hate them. They can make you feel weak and useless, angry and sad. The many emotions that a person can have can bring them to depression and if anyone knows that better them me it's Jasper. They are only part of the reason people do the things they do, they can turn people into emo's; self hating, life despising, pain driven emo's. Of course I can't speck on the behalf of all emo's but I've come very close. Sleeping pills take me away fast and effortless but I rarely ever take those.

Night time

My favourite time of day is when the sun goes down and it's not day at all. Minds drift to sleep and with that so do the voices inside my head.

I stepped forward along with Jasper, Rosalie, Emmet, Bella and Alice. That was everyone in the room what a fucked up bunch of kids, what a fucked up idea to put us all in the same room, ridiculous. I know that Jewel is trying to make us spill our guts, making us tell our secrets without even noticing. Unfortunately that would only work if we were stupid and if we were that naïve into being tricked none of us would be here.

"Cut?" she whispered as if to not offend anyone.

No one lunged forward, no one hesitated. I have to admit I was impressed but just because you don't cut didn't mean that you didn't cause self pain. Either it be physical pain or mental pain we all know our ways to hurt.

"Why are we playing this game? Don't games have a winner and loser? This all looks pretty missed up if you ask me and there's no way this is going to turn out good" Small Alice spoke as if she didn't need or care for a answer, like she didn't give a fuck, like Jewels response couldn't make a difference.

"This is only a game or questionnaire if it must. I have no idea if you're lying or not but I trust that you're being honest with yourself. Whether you're answering truthfully in your head and acting it out in your steps" Jewel stared into each of our eyes.

"I think I'll start personal sessions today instead, Edward your lucky number one" Yes call upon me lets see how Edward feels today should I cry on her shoulder or give her the finger? I think I should just be myself but hey she asked for it right? I followed her to the office and it was set up quite warmly. Unlike most Psychologists there was a couch and arm chair across from each other but her desk was the most prominent thing in the room.

The desk was by the back wall, right behind a huge window. It was a dark ruby red and green lines of velvet ran down the legs and side. I have no idea why it attracted me so much, why I wanted to be the one sitting on the other side instead of the chair in front of it. I didn't make that distract me though I was here against my will and jewel was waiting for me. Why should I could fucking care about some desk.

"Edward take a seat on the couch and tell me about your day" She raised her hand implying that I sit opposite from her.

"I woke up, went to school, ate lunch and know I'm here. There isn't much to talk about jewel" I really didn't want to sound rude but it was like Carlisle asking me how school was. You were just buying some time, filling in the quiet moments.

"I heard that there was a commotion at lunch time. It was you, Alice, jasper, Bella, and a fellow peer named Mike." She reached over the table beside her and grabbed a notebook.

"It was barely a commotion I don't remember disturbing any one. So what you heard was wrong" I rolled my eyes.

"I guess I did hear wrong but there was something going on though right?" she questioned me.

"When you say going on what do you mean?" I wanted an interpretation.

"Was there something that happened that could have been a problem that could have turned into something? I couldn't help but notice there's three men and two women" she scribbled into that green book.

"It wasn't my problem I have no need to speak of it. It came and it went blah, blah, blah" I'm not the person to ask it really isn't my fucking problem. Who was I to talk about a love?

"Was it about a girl problem?" she asked me trying to take a different approach. I've done this for years you better get to the point.

"Like I said not my problem, girl or no girl not my issue" Didn't I just say that, I swear I already said that?

"Fine Edward" Jewel waved it off. "So what do you think about the other ladies and gents"

"I think their all missed up they have to be, to be here" I smirked at her; they really were some missed up people.

"There not missed up they all have personal issues that need to be worked out. I'm sure there not to far from you, I'm sure you would like some of them if you gave them a chance" Jewel was annoying. She has to see the good in every one. Well everyone has a fucked up side Jewel.

"You act like we're all angels, like we have some shinny halo over our heads. Those kids out there have different life styles they have different lives. They are different. We are different. I am different. Jewel" I retorted this through clenched teeth.

"I like to see the better in everyone but I don't dismiss the dark side while searching for the light. Edward." Jewel wrote in her book again. "There's something unpleasant in everyone's life. You guys just need more help then others. You are Different. We are different. I accept myself." She stared at me blankly.

"What do you think about relationships Edward" Jewel asked

"I have one friend, Jasper" Jewel raised her eye brows.

"What about a girlfriend?" she said.

"I don't keep girlfriends; I'm not fair to them. I can't care for them" I slightly lowered my voice. Bella was the one on my mind this month but I wouldn't push it. There was something about her that made me want her and turn from her all at the same time. Maybe it's because I'm never interested in girls farther then one night. I'm not like that any more I just refuse to give in. Jasper is in love with Alice and look at him now….. Love can kill.

"None of the girls call to you?" Was this her observation? None of the girls wanted me, what a understatement.

"I have no problem with girls that's the least of my worries" I smiled. I gave Jessica a second of my time and she turned into my personal stocker.

"Well what about Rosalie?" she gave me a answer to what she hopped was a resolution.

"Stock up hoe, Rosalie knows she's beautiful and I have no need to tighten her confidence" What I really wanted to say was that she's a bitch. The whole time all I heard, or all I picked up from her head was that she wanted to fuck Emmet and she was pissed of that I didn't show her any attraction. Bitch.

"Alice" she waved off what I said about Rosalie

"Friend" Alice wasn't so bad, even when she was angry she screamed energy. Other then that I don't like her like that and Jasper would rip my head off.

"Isabella or Bella that is" She asked again.

"Bella is Bella" take that how you want it.

"Aw, I see" Jewel got up and paced the room then stoped to get a bottle of water. Shit I guess she was just getting started.

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**I'm sorry this was so short but I just wanted to put it out there because I haven't up louded in a while.**

**I hope you like it there's more to come. Comment!!!!!33**


	7. Unwanted Converstion

**AN: Once again so sorry for not updating sooner...**

**Had things to do, things to hand in, people to laugh with, people to yell at....... you know the how nine yards ..or ten**

**Don't Let me stop you. Read on Readers, Read on!3**

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"_Friend" Alice wasn't so bad, even when she was angry she screamed energy. Other then that I don't like her like that and Jasper would rip my head off._

"_Isabella or Bella that is" She asked again._

"_Bella is Bella" take that how you want it._

"_Aw, I see" Jewel got up and paced the room then stopped to get a bottle of water. Shit I guess she was just getting started._

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"When You say Bella is Bella what do you mean by that....That dosen't positively answer my question" She hadn't taken a seat yet but went on just sipping the water by her desk.

"She's just there I just fucking met her yesterday....and if you're going to sip that dam water all the time, do you want to get me some....I'm talking my ass off here. My mouth's getting dry" I don't usually swear at women but what the fuck was she inferring? I hardly fucking knew the girl.

"Oh of course you could have some water. I wasn't going to have any sessions today so I didn't set anything up" Jewel reached down to some where behind her desk and came back up with the water. She was thinking about something while she walked slowly to the arm chair. She kept swaying her hand with the bottle in it before setting it on the table infront of me.

I took the bottle and drank from it while still looking at her expression.

"I know you just met her yesterday but you never had a problem discribing Rosalie or Alice. They weren't here for to long and Alice came with Bella. That's exactly why you saying Bella is Bella is off. It's almost like talking about her is off limilts, like you avoid it without noticing. I think you can't tell me about her, or just explain because you refuse to see her. To look at her like you would others, to see what you can't see" five minutes in here and she thinks she can read me, a little confident I see.

"No, I can talk about Alice becasuse I had a real conversation with her. I can talk about Rosalie because who wouldn't say she's a little active, She spelled it out her self. I don't have somthing to say about Bella because I only shared a few words with her and it wasn't much for a biography" Jewel I went through this, minds games don't work, sorry.

_He really dosen't see, he's blocking himself from.... _

Was that her mind, did I hear her in my head? Yes I heard her shit Edward who else could that have been. What the fuck I really did try to avoid this by all means. I don't want to hear her opinions about me. I should be used to this already, this is normal for me as far as normal goes... and it's not to far.

"Well I suppose that's a way for putting it Edward. I'm sure you'll say what you want to," In hale "Edward what do you think will happen if you keep pushing away frineds. If you never try to talk to people on their level and just get to know them" She asked

"First of all they're not my friends, they couldn't be even if they tried, if I tried. I refuse to talk to them on thier level of thinking because I don't have to. I shouldn't have to pretend to be interested in what they're saying when I'm not. They couldn't speak to me on my level because they would break and freak out if they even thought about the things I think about. They wouldn't even be able to hold an understanding on my level so why should I stoop down to thier's if I'm amused by the things they think of. I've heard it all before"

I tensed at the last bit of words because I didn't want to have this fucking conversation.

"You really have a way with words Edward. I wouldn't be suprised to see you having a dabate and wining. Edward you don't have to think on they're level to speak to them like you would Jasper, all you would have to do is keep in mind that they might not think they way you do. They might not understand what you're saying or what you mean by a certain comment but that dosen't mean they won't try. That dosen't mean they can't try thier best to understand" Jewel stared at my eyes but not in them she wouldn't find anything if she tried but she did keep looking. She kept hopping for something more.

I just stared back at her blankly.

"I'm doing them a favour by leaving them alone. They're doing them self a favour by not looking closer" I gasped again because I _really_ didn't want to talk about this.

I guess she caught up on the gesture because the next thing she said was.

"I hope you know what this conversation was about, as much as it was for people around you and for the ones you push away and the ones who dare push back" Jewel slumped in her chair singing that this was over.

"You never mentioned my _issue" _I asked as I got up and headed to the door.

"I didn't need two. We both know why were're here. Besides it wouldn't have went with the topic" She smiled once again.

"Always so happy" I shudderd dramatically.

"I hope to infect you guys with it" Jewel leaned over as if to cough it on me.

"I'm immune" I opened the door and walked out.

"Nice to have you back," Jasper sighed grabbing his stuff to go."I was thinking about jacking your car and driving home my self"

"I know where you sleep" I sighed too and picked up my stuff. I couldn't help but notice that Alice Was sitting closer to Jasper then yesterday and looking less dead, so was Jasper.

I walked to the door and barely stepped over the threshold when Bella knocked into me. I grabbed her by the waist as she shoved past my shoulder and almost hit the floor. I pulled her back up and looked at her face it was flushed with red and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Bella pulled away from me but only after leaning in then more was neccassry to stand fully erect.

"Thanks, Me and the floor know each other well" Bella spoke softly it sounded like bells, fuck.

"I wouldn't mind saving you each time" I gazed into her eyes. I don't know why the fuck I was doing it but I didn't want to look away and that's exactly why I did.

"Well then stay on your gaurd," She said amused. "How did the interagation go?" she questioned as walking back into the room.

"Interesting" I signed once again while following her back in.

"Aren't they all. They try to get into your head and put words in your mouth. How are you feeling?, What happend today?, What makes you tick?" Bella laughed as she lunged into the chair by the table of snacks.

"You've done this alot before?" I asked more of a statement the a question. I was farely courious.

"How far dose ever since I can remember go?" Bella laughed again and it rang like bell chimes. I really needed to spend more time with Jasper all this talking shit was getting to me. I need to walk like I'm dead, I should stop but I didn't want to, yet.

"Far, to the day you were born and back" I smiled and her breath hitched.

"Edward are you trying to call me a lost cause from the day I was born?" she mocked an astonished look.

"No just different but we all are" My smile faded but only because I wanted it to sink in. I'm no good and she needs to reckonize it sooner or later. Later meaning now.

"Yea" Bella huffed into her arms which where now wrapped around her eyes not looking up.

"So what are you here for?" I raised my eyebrows sugestively. She was to Beautifull to be here with us. Even Alice seems so out of place here.

"Isn't that kind of a Personal questoin?" she said barely peaking up from under her arms. Her hood was up and I couldn't see anything, not even her hair.

"That's if you make it personal Bella" I really wanted to fucking know

"I'm making it personal" She pushed her head further into her arms.

"Fucked up isn't it?" I groaned for what must have been the tenth time today.

"Beyound, you?" I did notice she was directing the conversation back to me.

"fucked up beyound repair" I mumured unimportantly under my breath. I've already come to the conculsion that my life was fucked up.

"Edward are you ready yet man?" Jasper growled queitly beside Alice who was looking at the floor.

"One second" Fuck you.

"You have to wait for Jewel to come out or you get a warning. Or so I've been told" Bella straightend out in her chair looking like she got over what ever mood she was in. Almost.

"Great we'll just get tired and play a game of our own. It's called catch the corrupted teenages and the girls have nails" Jasper yelled toward Jewel's office door.

Alice laughed from her chair and Jasper was glowing. That must have been the first smile she mad all day the way Jasper was looking at her.

"When I do catch you and I will one way or the other, you'll just have to spend some extra time with me in my office. And we will be talking about the most uncomfortable stuff!" Jewel yelled back at him holding a laugh back.

"Nice" Jasper said

"You sound _interesting _when you're mad" Rosalie spoke softly reminding me that she was still in the room.

"And you sound absurd trying to get what's taken" Alice said dryly.

"Getting something has never been my problem. Keeping them away is" Rosalie snarled

"I don't see him at your knees so who's the one following?" Alice retorted back. I've never seen Alice mad and it was scary. Like a kid who has decided to act up but you knew you couldn't do much back.

"Hilarious" Rosalie snarled again

"Please I wasn't even trying" Alice snarled back

Jasper was Looking at Alice like he didn't know what to do and glancing at Rosalie like he wanted to jump on her. To bad she's a girl. right.

"Alice and Jasper, he'll get bored" Rosalie smiled openly.

"So you expect him to turn to you. That's hilarious" Alice snickerd

"Yea I think it's time to go now Jewel" Bella screamed at the office door.

"One minute!" Jewel yelled back. Wow she realy wants to see a cat fight. I wonder who would win with out Bella jumping in?

"I think it should be now!" Bella yelled back, a warning.

"Fine you guys can leave early!" Jewel said back.

"Alice get your things lets go now" Bella got her bag and coat and headed for the door.

"Bye Edward" She turned around and said shyly before leaving the room.

"Bye Bella" I could only say back.

"Get your shit Jazz were out" I said no longer having a need to be in here anymore. I got my stuff again and left a Angry Rosalie and Alice behind.

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**Tell me what you think about the chapter!!!!!!**

**I didn't want to make Alice so soft.... So I had to do it!!!**


	8. Don't Break The Contract

**I've already hit myself for not updating sooner......**

**School is one mighty #$%**

**Don't be mad when you read one part......I couldn't resist**

**And if you're happy there won't be a huge part of it in the story.......yea I'm like that....But not a hater 0_0 **

**and hey I had some stories on this site to read too...**

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**BPOV**

_"How about drugs, any kind of drugs, even pharmacy drugs?" Jewel asked us with upraised eye brows._

_Dam why did she have to go and ask that? I took pharmacy drugs in hopes of falling to sleep, a dreamless sleep not just mine but every ones. I stepped forward and so did everyone else even Alice took pharmacy drugs but she took them to stay awake and not fall asleep. One word could explain that, nightmares. I wasn't't shocked to see Edward there I knew that he wasn't't literally an angel but I couldn't't help but gasp, I took a minute to take in what he was wearing. Edward had on dark blue jeans and a black hoodie, he looked like a bad boy and that drew me in as much as it pushed me away and that's when I realized the game was going to take a deadly turn. Mrs.. Jewel was making us share our demons and we didn't even notice._

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When Edward and Jewel left the room everyone immediately collapsed in their desired corners. I took the curtsy of taking up the whole couch and making sure to leave no room but that sure didn't stop Rosalie. She sat her to perfect ass on the arm of the chair and swung her legs to place on the cushion right before my feet.

"You know I was wondering about this whole situation and decided to come and make an understanding" She spilled out after making her self comfortable.

"And by understanding you mean...." I was going to be civilized

"I'm a bitch, you're a bitch do you not agree?" Rosalie said

"Yes that's clear"

"Well here's the thing I'm not opposed to the guys in this room call me a slut or not they're some fine ass" She glanced at Emmett

"Continue" Rosalie was getting somewhere

"Well then. Clearly you have your eyes on Edward which was clear from the attack on day one. Emmett is more appealing to me so that's clear from this day on"

"I have my eyes on no one. I was simply pointing out the obvious with you and Edward. As far as Emmet goes the door's open not that you were asking for permission of course" I added in that last part because she would protest as would I.

"I don't care why you're here so the question won't come up. My problem couldn't be any more specific. I still don't like you I hope you don't to"

"I return the same feelings towards you. I am capable of being pleasant but I'll kick your ass if it's called for" I grunted

"And I'll drop kick you face first, while flipping my hair"

"Well then we've come to an conclusion of..." we might as well stop beating around the bush

"I'll be bored I need a partner in crime"

"As will I" I leaned my hand out to her. She shook.

"Your a bitch I'm sure in the arrest of the crime's we'll commit you'll give in, on me" I raised my right eyebrow.

"I don't get caught I can talk my way out of everything so the time won't come. But if you even mess up in the arrest we fall alone" I liked that idea don't fuck up don't think about the consequence.

"Don't call me Isabella"

"Don't touch my hair. Ever" She spat

"So on school grounds?" Rosalie asked

"No PDA. If we talk immediately squash any rumors of friendship say what ever you want to say just get the job down" I glared at her

"Nice doing business Rose" I profoundly declared eyeing the person at the door

"I prefer Rosalie you have no shit on me" She Smiled, fucking smiled. Bitch.

"You should have said that instead of the hair shit"

"Izzy"

"Fuck you"

"no I'll fuck Emmentt watch the master in action" Rose got up and walked with her ass more then ever over to Emmentt. Emmentt didn't hide the fact that he was staring.

I on the other hand walked over to the person at the door and kept on walking down the hall, and around the corner. I stopped.

"Jake what could you passably want?"

"Charlie sends his love" he came into my view.

"So you needed to come all the way down here for what?" I snarled

"To see my lovely girl" Jacob grinned

"Save it" I yawned he was so lame

"Ok cut the shit I got it. Bella when are you going to see that we are meant to be"

"When the world falls and everything dies and it's only left to me and you to find life and reproduce. On our journey when you try to make a move about how it's only me and you maybe I'll think about. Wait who am I shiting even then the answer would be no"

"harsh words for such a small beautiful girl" His smiled failed to live on.

"But they will live true"I turned to walk away

"We used to be friends what happened?" he yelled running to catch up to me.

"You hit puberty and learned what girls could offer" I yelled back to him.

"I never tried anything on you"

"Because I never tried anything on you" He grabbed my hand, he grabbed my hand. I just stopped and looked at it. His hands were on me I was so amused I didn't raise my head to look at him as he spoke.

"Don't you ever wonder?"

"No, now are you going to remove you hands?" my eyes were still lucked down at my hand.

"Always the fighter"

"You now me" He removed his hand. He knew I'd bite.

"How's Jessica?" I asked we were back on the right side of the wall once again

"Fine as ever" Jacob nodded happily.

"Jacob?" I said while walking away, again.

"You know we'll never be"

"Of course just leaving the money on the table Bells" he voice was sounding farther away. I liked that.

"Oh Jake don't call me bells"

"Only if you call me big poppa!" he laughed and walked away.

He was sweet when we were younger always offered to show me forks even though I couldn't care less. Charlie and Renee would take us to visit Billy and they would talk about how much they missed it here. Then Jacob got into high school and decided to follow the crowd. I couldn't be any happier that I never liked him in that way and because of this I never felt the need to give in.

I turned into the room not really watching my steps which was always wrong. I slammed into someone and was about to take a dirty spill on the floor when they caught me. They grabbed me by my arm but only before using their other one to set me up. Who ever it was they smelled delicious I breathed in more trying to get more in.

"Thanks, me and the floor know each other well" I said embarrassed like hell I could feel the blush forming at my cheeks. It didn't make it any better that I saw Edward looking back at me.

"I wouldn't mind saving you each time" He held my eyes and they were the deepest shade of green. I wanted to get lost in them but he turned away. I said the only thing I could think of.

"Well then stay on your guard," I smiled light heartedly. "How did the interrogation go?"

"interesting" he said as I walked away toward the chair.

"Aren't they all. They try to get into your head and put words in your mouth. How are you feeling?, What happened today?, What makes you tick?" I couldn't help but laughed as memories filled my head. Idiot "doctors" Thinking they could figure me out.

"You've done this a lot before?" Edward asked me

"How far dose ever since I can remember go?" I laughed again memories memories how the sting like acid.

"Far, to the day you were born and back" He smiled crookedly at me. I felt my breath hitch. If it was possible to be dazzled he approved the statement.

"Edward are you trying to call me a lost cause from the day I was born?" I mocked astonishment.

"No just different but we all are"

"yea" I huffed and raised my arms so I could mop. Different was what I was and always would be there was no changing that.

"So what are you here for?" Edward asked me almost sadly. To bad I couldn't tell him I wasn't in the mood to watch him turn away.

"Isn't that kind if a personal question?" I said peaking out from under my hand to see if he would push it.

"That's if you make it personal Bella" Yes he was going to push it.

"I'm making it personal" I grunted under my breath and stuffed my head harder into my arms. Please not today.

"fucked up isn't it" He asked me groaning.

"Beyond, you" Not today please not today. Besides he didn't know how much truth were actually left on those words.

"Fucked up beyond repair" he barley said

"Edward are you ready yet man?" Jasper growled lightly but harshly.

"One second" Edward raised his voice tensely.

Please go.

Please stay.

"You have to wait for Jewel to come out or you get a warning. Or so I've been told" I got up and looked around. It looked like Jasper was making my mind up for me. Time to go, I don't want to go.

"Great we'll just get tired and play a game of our own. It's called catch the corrupted teenagers and the girls have nails" Jasper yelled at Jewels door.

Alice laughed and I smiled because Jasper was happy because she was happy. That didn't get past Edward ether.

"When I do catch you and I will one way or the other, you'll just have to spend some extra time with me in my office. And we will be talking about the most uncomfortable stuff!" Jewel yelled back at him.

"Nice" Jasper said back to her.

"You sound interesting when your mad" Did we not talk about what we could go for in this room. Jasper was not on the contract. Rosalie don't bitch.

"And you sound absurd trying to get what's taken" Alice said in monotone.

"getting something has never been my problem. Keeping the away is" I did say that I would kick her ass if necessary right? She was on the wrong path Alice before hoes all day every day.

"I don't see him at your knees so who's the one following?" Alice was getting pumped. She was dangerous mad. Very dangerous.

"Hilarious" Rosalie snarled

"Please I wasn't even trying" Alice snarled back

Jasper was just staring. He was stock in between stopping and defending.

"Alice and Jasper, he'll get bored" Rosalie smiled. I would have liked the fact that she wasn't stepping down but this is Alice.

"So you expect him to turn to you. That's hilarious" Alice snickered

"Yea I think it's time to go now Jewel" I screamed at her door I was one step away from enforcing the kick your ass rule.

"One minute!" Jewel yelled back. Wrong answer.

"I think it should be now!" Do the right thing. Alice is the wrong person to mess with. I'd jump in for her and she'd jump in for me.

"Fine you guys can leave early!" Jewel said back. Thank you for your late help.

"Alice get your things lets go now" I grabbed my bag and coat and headed for the doors deciding on staying to enforce rule one. It was a hard choice. Oh Edward! I can't leave with out even saying by no matter how bad I did and didn't want this. What ever this was.

"Bye Edward" I almost yelled before I stopped my self and turned to get out of hell. With the exception of Edward of course.

"Bye Bella" I only noticed that he answered back.....

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**Warning: AN**

**Ok about the whole Jacob thing.....**

**I'm not sure if there will be alot more of him......I'm not sure myself**

**But there will not be any J/B I'm sorry.......It's Edward/Bella baby!!!!!**

**Tell me what you think about this chapter it's nice to get a review after I sit my but on this chair writing.. :P**

**And I know people are Reading!!! Because your yelling at me in my mail box!!**

**sorry 0_0**


	9. The Edward Problem

***Leans back and sighs* **

**Yup I'm going to be updating this holiday break...... And it feels so good**

**Thanks for the comments they made me laugh and smile *HA and HA***

**I'm done this chapter enjoy Bella try and figure this "Edward Problem" out!**

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**BPOV**

I was walking down the halls pleading for Alice to pick her self up and follow me. I really am trying to keep calm now a days, trying not to be so stubborn but this place sure makes it hard. Edward talking to me was confusing enough as it was. I wanted to tell him there was no point on even wasting your breath on me but of course I wouldn't tell him that.

The contract I just signed could go one way or the other. I should have said that Alice was untouchable but really, shouldn't she have known. I mean you have to be really slow to not catch on with something as simple like that. She was testing my patience, seeing how much it would take to blow me over. It doesn't take that much. I was always the one to stick up for Alice. Although I hardly ever had to. Everyone loved Alice It was hard not to but those rare people who hated a good heart just had to test me.

I kept the thought that I still haven't heard Alice in the back of my head. If something was going down Alice could hold her own. Jasper was there to and I had no dought that he would stop anything from going to far. He had that carefree face that said it all. He was probably the one person you couldn't mess with. That one person that seen, heard, and probably did it all. It was good that Alice had him, Protector to the smallness that was Alice. The clam part to her adrenaline. But if Alice doesn't get her ass up and I have to walk back down this hall.....

"Rosalie shut up" I heard Alice say far behind me.

"Oh Alice don't act like that. I was only being me" Rosalie said back

"Well your a get down hoe. You'll make a plan just to get some girls man" Alice shot back. The sound was getting higher so I guessed that they weren't so far behind me now.

"I don't want Jasper trust me..." Rose got cut off from Jasper him self. I decided to stop walking might as well see where this was going.

"Rosalie Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Why do you have to be such a bitch. Just crawl in some hole and never come out" He practically growled at Rosalie. I liked him.

"Fuck you Jasper. Such harsh words"Rose smiled at him. Always the bitch. Time to intrude.

"Hey Rosalie could I talk to you for a minute?" It was more of a rhetorical question then anything.

"Izzy I thought you left" Rose said. She was taken back by my voice but composed her self pretty quickly.

"Rose you know I hate it when you call me Izzy" I smiled at her.

"You know I hate it when you call me Rose. What's up?" She asked turning away from Jasper.

"Follow me over here" I started to walk back up the hall.

"Bella what are you-" I cut Alice of. I knew she was thinking that something was about to go down. That might have been the case if that contract wasn't made.

"Don't worry Alice" I was still walking down the hall when I seen Edward staring from the side of his eyes. I bet he thinks I'm some kind of hard ass about to take Rose down. No time to prove him wrong.

I stopped once we hit the corner.

"Alice is on the contract stop messing around" I glared at her.

"You never said that before" Rose glared back at me.

"Well I thought something like that would be obvious" I shot at her more venomously then needed.

"Yea I know I just pushed that thought to the side thinking that you would make something so important a rule from the start" Ah, she has a mind.

"Good come back but knows not the time. Tomorrow we make the rules up at lunch don't leave anything out and make it clear. If at anytime you want the rules to be changed or add a rule in we have to discuss it. But from now on Alice Is in my list."

"Well then Jasper is on my list to"Rose spoke calmly.

"Jasper. How the hell could he be on your list?" What the was she talking about.

"Don't question my motives. I'd ride for him. That's all you need to know. That stunt you seen with me and Alice was merely just a test" She Suddenly looked serious.

"Yea well stop with the tests she's clean" I started to walk away grimly. Alice didn't see that shit as a test.

"Lunch time" Rose yelled back at me running to catch up.

"Yea" I said barley bothering to speak.

We walked silently back to the group of kids. Alice was kissing Jasper good bye when she seen me come up. She started walking to her car slowly seperating hands with Jasper all the way down to the tips of their fingers. Something like that was so small yet said so much in that tiny gesture.

Rosalie walked over to Jasper and they started walking over to a red BMW. I never noticed before but the looked like siblings. They both had beautiful blonde hair and a tall slim figure. It was weird that I was only noticing how much they looked alike.

At the far end of the parking lot Edward was talking on his phone beside a slick sliver car. He looked like he was having some kind of an argument with the person on the cell. He wasn't yelling or anything he just looked like he was having a hard time. He had his keys in his other hand but never did he once try to get in his car. I never would have noticed this but it just seemed so clear to me.

"Bella what are you waiting for. You've been trying to get out of here since it started and now you just stand there" Alice cried at me from her yellow porsche.

I ran up to her car and jumped in.

"So what's for dinner Chef Bella" She giggled.

"I don't know what do you want to eat?" I asked

"I'm not sure maybe steak and potatoes or chicken alfredo, yum"

"Alice how can you eat so much and be so small?" I laughed she was always dieing to eat something

"Who ever complained about eating. It's a wonderful thing to do and it's not my fault I don't gain a lot of weight. Just comes with how perfect I am" She grinned from ear to ear.

"I guess we could have chicken alfredo. Is Paige going to be there today? I love it when she's there" I said.

"I think so hopefully" Alice replied.

Paige was our nanny. Charlie hired her when we decided that we would stay with him refusing to be separated. It was clear that Charlie wouldn't know what to do with two girls. Renee was always the one watch over our every move and taught us what to do when we hit that huge stage in life. Before she moved away with Phil she told Charlie to hire one of her friends who worked as a part time nanny.

Paige was a life saver we loved her. She was that shoulder to cry on and the only person to never look at us differently when she found out what we could do. Other then Renee she was the closet we got to a mom. And since she was Renee's best friend they kept in touch and she had the same full of life energy as her. I never asked her if she believed us or thought we were crazy but I never had to. She looked at the world differently then others, just like Renee. And that's why we loved her.

We pulled into the drive way and stopped at the gate to slide our card in the slot. Charlie was dirty rich and saw the gate as some shiny "I'm rich bitch" sigh. Who the hell would need a gate in forks?

When we finally pulled up to the driveway Alice jumped out with her back pack and ran for the door. Paige opened the door right before Alice Jumped on her.

"Hey Paige I had a Feeling you were going to be here today" She hugged her tighter before sliding off.

"Which meant that I was" Paige pecked Alice on the cheek and waved me over.

"Hey Paige did you bring Ruby with you?" I said as I gave her a hug and she pecked me on the cheek.

"Yea the dog is in there somewhere" She laughed

Ruby was the dog we weren't allowed to have so Paig brought her dog over here every time she came. Another reason why we loved her so. When we were kids we would fight over who got to hold her.

I ran into my room and placed my bag on the rocking chair in the corner off my room and hung my coat on the hook above my door. I almost screamed and ran out when I felt something furry on my legs before I remember that Ruby was here. I leaned over to pick her off the floor. Ruby was a Yorkshire terrier, Brown and black. The cutest little dog to walk this plant, as Alice calls it. I ran back down the stair remembering to start dinner.

I went through the kitchen finding everything I would need to make chicken alfredo and took out the cheese cake from the freezer to eat after. I loved cheese cake with a passion but hated strawberry cheese cake, I only liked cherry deciding that strawberry was to sweet.

"Bella what do you think about Jasper?" Alice asked picking up Ruby from the spot on the floor that I left her. She walked over to the chairs by the island and sat down.

"I think he's good for you. I mean if he's good to you, he is good to you though because if he isn't-" She raised her hand to stop me.

"He's great absolutely great. I love him you know. I haven't told him but I think he knows. I don't want to tell him into I can talk about my secret though. I don't want him to think that me saying I love you will make him obligated to stick around when he finds out that I'm crazy. Well I know I'm not crazy just extra talented then others" She beamed at me but not for long that saying we used to use can only last so long.

"He would be the crazy one if walked away from you. But if he ever broke you're heart I would rip his out for you 'Kay?" I told her as I ripped the sauce packet and poured it into the pot.

"Nice to her bells" She said

"Always here to help" I replied

"So did you fix that problem you guys had that made you walk like zombies?" I said coolly under my breath. If they didn't I didn't want to be the reason for the zombie to come back.

"We have come to the conclusion of just letting it come. When were ready and it seems right it will just come" Alice said hopefully. Always the optimistic.

"So.... What about you and Edward. I saw you looking at him, giving that coy look. Edward ant that bad and he's Jasper best friend we could double date!" She squeaked from behind me. I just started chopping the chicken breast giving her time to compose her self.

"You know how I feel about relationships Alice" I sighed we had this conversation so much times before.

"I never said a relationship Bella." Shit I slipped. I fucking slipped. Of course she didn't say a relationship we never talked about that with me in the same sentence. I always teased and she saw it as amusing. I was a coy flirt I just stood back and let them do the work. And I just said relationship, I practical yelled that I wanted him. Shit Bella you messed up big time!

"Um before you go anywhere with this I already had this discussion with myself. It wouldn't work out I'm a pessimist and you're a optimist. You've always seen the better side of things and I was rational about almost everything. Edward is. Edward is.... Man I don't know what Edward is." I huffed and poured the chicken breast into the frying pan. I took the noodles and poured it into the pot of water and took the sauce of the stove.  
"Edward would be good for you Bella" Alice chirped from her seat.

"And why is that?" I asked turning the chicken over smiling at the right shade of brown.

"Edward has problems, you have problems, you both could work them out together. Clearly you to would be good for each other if the chemistry is there and it's definitely there. Besides I like Edward good heart that boy has good heart" She just reminded me of Paige they could always see the good in people.

"You speak as if on first name bases" I smirked at her, tuning to get the strainer from the covered. I picked up the pot by the handles and slowly poured the noodles in. Then I picked it up and purred it back into the pot.

"Because we are. He really helped me up that day when Jasper almost killed Mike." She retorted

"Oh yea I forgot about that" I was a little put out by that. I was happy that she liked him by all means glad. The only thing was that she was at a better place then me. She reached that point that she could talk about these things freely. That she could talk to Edward about Jasper. All I needed to do was talk to Edward about Edward and I couldn't even do that.

I picked up the sauce and poured it into the pot with the noodles. I reached for the frying pan and poured in the chicken. I pulled out the drawer and got a huge spoon to mix everything together.

"Um, something smells good Bella. What did you make?" Paige asked walking up behind me and looking over my shoulder.

"Chicken Alfredo" I smiled who needs to be down when everyone around me was always up. Oh right the pessimist.

"Yum," Paige laughed "I guess I'm staying here for dinner"

"You might as well sleep over" Alice tweaked.

"Yea I guess I should Joey could take over at home just for today. Let me just call and say goodnight to the kids" She walked out of the room down the hall.

"Alice don't say anything about Edward around I don't want her to think anything's up" I warned her. I sat down at the island waiting for Alice to sit the plates up like she always did after I was done. We only used the big table when Charlie was here, he like the feeling of a family.

"Okay I won't say anything but you know she'll just find out anyways. Sometime's I think she has better intuition then me. I laughed because that was so not possible.

"Then we just have to hold that off don't we" I grinned at her. She was almost done just setting the place for Paige. I never said extra place for Paige she didn't deserve it. Alice sat back down beside me and quickly took her share from the pot, a huge share. How could something so small consume so much I didn't know.

Paige came back into the room and sat down beside me taking her share before I took mine. Soon after "umm's" and "aww's" filled the kitchen. I couldn't help but love it. To know that I could do something right. When everyone was done Paige put everything in the dishwasher and put the left over's in a container for her family and silent sorry for leaving the choice of food up to Joey.

"I hope he just bought Pizza or something. The last time he tried to cook when I was away the kids ran" She laughed full heartedly, a true women in love. Even though he was making fun of him the sparkle in her voice never died. I suddenly felt over whelmed by all the love filling the room. I had to get out of there. Now.

"I think I'm going to hit the sack" I said getting up and putting my cheese cake in the dishwasher along with the others.

"I promise I'll have sweet dreams for you Bella" Alice said patting my back and grabbing my hand to walk up stairs with me.

"Me to" Paige said. Getting up to turn of the lights. I love the fact that I never had to say it first. It was rare that you found me going to sleep so early or not staying up way past due. Unless I took a trip to Charlie's room and got a sleeping pill but I never really did that anymore. I could see the wrong in them even though they made me feel so right.

Once we were up the stairs Alice separated so she could go to her room.. I was going to go take a shower. I disliked the feeling of going to bed dirty after a day of who knows what. Alice took a shower in the morning to shake of her dreams, or more like freaky dreams that felt like real life.

I stripped down to my birthday suit and hopped in. I washed away the feeling of dread trying to soak in the feeling of the hot water against my skin. Now all I had to think about was the Edward problem. When nothing came I sighed.

Right, I should be so lucky.

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**Not the regular heated chapter I know.......**

**Bella's not always a Bitch...*sighs* Not enough Edward?**

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	10. Be The Death Of Me

**Yes a Christmas update**

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***Aww* *Shakes head***

**I couldn't resist.......**

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**EPOV**

After locking eyes with Bella I was sure that she and Rosalie had something going on. Bella looked at me almost apologetically. I didn't exactly know why she was looking at me that way. Maybe she thought I was thinking bad of her but for what. For stopping the argument that was sure to break out? For taking Rosalie out of the brew and maybe warn her when no one was looking? Or stopping the argument Rosalie and Jasper were about to have, I think not. There was nothing she needed to apologize for.

I felt the vibration in my pocket and allowed it to continue. There was no one I wanted to talk to. There are various people who call my cell phone and none of them were welcomed at the moment. I didn't want to hear Esme ask me about my day, I didn't want to hear Carlisle talk about the benefits of this program, but most off all I didn't want to look at the caller I.D and see that bitch. Tanya. I didn't want to hear her say how much she wanted me. There was nothing close to love about Tanya. All she see's is lust when she looks at me pure lust. The sad thing is that it's so strong she mistakes it for love.

How could someone mistake lust for love. They're to different feelings of attraction.

Tanya thought that she could have me. That she could win me by throwing her self at me. That was far from the case. Tanya had every man she ever wanted, she never had to work to get what she wants. She uses men then throws them away before she moves on. Tanya seen me as a challenge. Candy for the eyes of the lustful bitch.

I returned absolutely no feelings for her. Lust or Love. There was nothing there and there never would be. Don't get me wrong she is beautiful, strawberry blonde hair and hips. Just nothing worth looking at twice. I was sure there was more of her "kind" walking around here and if I wanted to give into lust one day I wouldn't be calling her. But that didn't stop her from calling on me.

Jasper was getting a ride from Rosalie today. Something about a party. Rosalie and Jasper's moms were attached at the hip. So there was no question that Rosalie and Jasper had grown up like brother and sister. It was scary how much they looked alike blonde for blonde, tall and slim. So that's why I called them Twins. I picked it up after the first session. I asked why the hell I was dropping Rosalie off too and Rosalie joked about me not seeing the twin-ness they had, I said it ever since. Their parents were so happy that their "Undying friendship" showed up through their kids.

At one point their parents wanted them to fall in love but that was not going to happen ever. They loved each other but not love, love. It was straight sibling love. Straight brother sister. Even though they weren't. They would do some harm for each other. Blood wasn't thicker then them. DNA didn't mean a dam thing. I learned this all in one car ride.

So because of this I wasn't really surprised about the whole fight thing. Rosalie was just testing to see how far she could push Alice. If Alice was actually worth Jasper's time. This was how they worked. Jasper would have done the same fucking thing if it was the other way around. They would traumatize the person. You have to have some some fucking balls or a death wish if you wanted Rosalie or Jasper for more then one day.

I loved that shit but it was about time someone could take it and it was funny as hell when Rosalie acted like she wanted Jasper. Only I could she the humor in that shit. Although the most shocking thing would have to be how Jasper rejected tradition. He spat those fucking words at Rosalie and I can't lie that shit was not fucking cool. I know he`s going to beat him self up on that shit. The emotions Rosalie was about to dump on him were going to be crushing. Painfully hard.

Jasper was going to take it in the car then guilt trip that shit back at her because Jasper had a fucking way with words. Get up under your skin kind of shit. Project he's feeling every where. While taking the beating like a narrow prick because popping off at Rosalie like that would make him feel like a dick. You only see that a couple times in your life. Not that they didn't pop off at each other ever just not like that. Never like that.

The cell was still vibrating in my pocket.

It was still taunting me.

I answered with my eyes closed.

"Hello?" I asked irritated.

"Hey Eddie, It's me Tanya" She hummed in my ear.

"Yes Tanya what do you need?" I won't yell, I won't yell.

"I was wondering if you would come to Hale's Garden party with me?" She hummed once again.

"I don't think I'll be attending. I'm not sure what awaits for me at home it's been a long day" I said through my teeth. Were there not any more men In this small freaking town?

"Well your parents are going to be there this year so that solves what's waiting for you at home. As for the long day I could fix that" She purred the last line of words. Lust like no other.

"Then I shall be there but I won't be coming with you. I have things that I need to do first." Like get in my car. I was trying my hardest to not drive mad. I was trying my hardest to not raise my voice. How many times did I need to say no for it to stick?

"I guess I will see you there then" She said almost defeated. Almost.

"Good bye Tanya" I didn't wait for her to respond just shut the cell and opened my car door. When I looked around the parking lot everyone was gone already. Time consuming Bitch. Add that to the list.

I drove fast up the lanes of forks just trying to get home as fast as possible. I might even sit down with Carlisle for awhile or stay in the kitchen while Esme cooks being her test taster or something.

When I pulled up to the gate that looked more like something from the 1950's I just typed in the digits and waited for it to open. When I got through and seen the wide windows that took up the space that was supposed to be for walls I sighed. Home sweet home, how it felt so nice.

I pushed through the doors and walked toward the stairs while one of the maids pulled off my coat and said.

"Nice to see you Edward" I smiled and walked up the stairs. I was never rude to them, why should I be a ass and bitch about things to the people who washed my shit and cleaned my house. I'm not some snobby little rich kid. Thank god I had some fucking morals.

"Edward honey dinner will be ready in five minutes" Esme called up the stairs. I looked over the railing and yelled.

"I'll be down"

When I got into my room I placed my bag on the couch and put my car keys on the book case behind the four books to the middle left. That's one thing I didn't play with. My car. If I found out any one drove my Volvo I would kill them.

I closed my door and headed back down the stairs and went straight to the dinning room. I sat on the end across from my father and my mother sat in the middle. We never bothered to use the big table that was in the other dinning room. It was only necessary when people were over. Yet it was rare to have anyone over because I never brought anyone here except for Jasper and Rosalie. Mother and Farther only held company sometimes because they hated making me uncomfortable. I don't know why people felt the need to talk at dinner. To get to know me better the black sheep.

My name was Edward Cullen.

I can read minds from time to time.

No I don't care that you think I'm crazy.

Now shut up and eat.

There was really nothing left to it. I was nothing but a person who didn't care what you had to say. If I wanted to hear what you thought about me I would ask and then read the true answer from your mind. There was nothing else left to it. Nothing.

So when everyone sat down to eat after hearing my chair squeak across the glossy floor I felt comfortable because these people knew me. As much as they wanted to know. As much as they felt safe to know. As much as they could handle.

We ate in silence. Esme stole glances at me probably thinking about the garden party. Carlisle stole glances at Esme reassuring her that it was going to be okay. I stole glances at no one except for the food in front of my face. Steak and potato's. Yum.

"So Edward the Hale's are having their garden party tonight" Esme started off. She was to keep me cool about the situation I knew their tactic so well. I would never raise my voice to her. Even if she slapped me which was unlikely I would not yell at her. I wouldn't fail her I wouldn't let her see my pain. To a women so full of love she did not deserve to see me, her son, suffer.

"Yes Esme I'll be going" She huffed relived. Carlisle almost spat out his wine. Nice that was new to him. Me agreeing with out fuss.

"You will?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes I will. Jasper will be there I think I can handle one night" I said not raising my eyes from the food in front of me.

"Tanya will be there Edward" Esme said softly.

"Yes she is the one that called me" I responded to her concern.

"Tanya is very persistent isn't she. Have you agreed to take her as I assume she asked you" Carlisle interjected.

"No, I told her that I had things to do and would she her there" I replied.

He laughed and ate two more fork full's.

"That's a nice way to put it" I smiled because if it was so simple for him to see it why the hell couldn't she?

"Edward you should tell her that you don't share the same feelings. I know you have but maybe firmer. I would love if you gave her a chance but that doesn't seem likely" Esme said warmly, kindly.

I laughed. It was funny. If I went firmer I could bend metal with the words that I wouldn't use to tell her to back off. Always the perfect gentleman. Yes I was raised to not raise my voice to women. She made it so easy sometimes. I wouldn't mind telling her what I thought.

That she was nasty.

That I would never want her.

That her beauty was a curse she used to drag in others.

That the day when she wanted someone with the real feeling of love. They wouldn't be able to see past the lust and the slime trail she left behind her. They would see you as what you were and not that you love them no. You wouldn't get the pleasure.

That when love and lust ever got separated in your mind it would be to late.

You would stand alone in your pile of faux feelings.

Yet I wouldn't be the one to tell you that. I would stand to the side and pity you the worst emotion of all.

To bad I'm such a gentleman with morals. To bad that I would probably help you up after because I don't want to be the person that could have prevented it all. Those words could help you.

To bad I have morals. To bad I am so immoral.

I was going to try and feel something with her one last time or I was going to fucking tell her.

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I was In Rosalie's room. Hiding. This shit was just so boring. Rosalie was on the phone talking to Emmett her new found attraction. Jasper was on the floor drinking scotch. I was on her bed with my ipod blocking out the horrible music coming from outside.

I teased Rosalie saying "you finally got over your crush on me" She laughed and said "I only wanted to see you naked"

That was cool. As much of a bitch she was, she was straight up. Had to respect it.

We stayed like that for hours into we had to get out and "Say hello to the old money bags" as Jasper put it.

As soon as I got out the back door Tanya was at my side. She pushed her hand through mine and started walking and waving at people like she had been with me the whole day. I decided to play with her, hell I was bored.

"Tanya what did you mean by you could fix my long day?" I lowered my voice and smiled crookedly. Girls and or women loved that shit to no end.

"Why Edward I was just saying that I could make you happy" She smiled at me playing my sick game.

"What do you mean by happy Tanya? Like buy me candy?" I asked

"If candy was what you wanted I could supply it" She purred at me. Dam this bitch was nasty. That's why it's fun to play with her. If was going to tell her how much I disliked her. Might as well do it the right way.

"So Tanya what kind of candy?" I asked

"Something hard or soft, maybe sweet and luscious" she said.

"Like a lolly pop" I whispered.

"I could get that" Tanya pulled me by the wall turning into the side of the house. No one was there dam is she nasty.

When we hit the turn she swept her hand down my chest and smiled. She makes this game fun.

"Tanya is that lolly pop hard?" I said in her ear. She shivered this was so easy.

She took her hand and moved it to the lining of my zipper but never touched it. Instead she pressed her hands in between my legs and grabbed.

"Not yet Edward but I could fix that" she grabbed harder. I couldn't help it Edward has a pull to the women body. I stiffened. She purred. She ran her other hand through my hair.

"I could look at you for days Edward" She caught my eyes and went low. For a second I thought screw my morals but then her eyes really caught me. They were hazel. Something was wrong with this picture. I saw nothing when I looked at her, those eyes held nothing interesting. I wanted the feeling of getting lost but it never came. She was on her knees know. My body felt great but my mind didn't. Shit I want more. She couldn't give me that. I was being a bitch for doing this. Who was I to turn this down. I'm Edward Fucking Cullen. I turned this shit down daily. I wanted a different colour, I wanted brown.

"Tanya get up" I hissed

"What the fuck are you talking about" She hissed back.

"Just get up" I almost yelled at her. I lead her on she looks so stunned, I'm fucking telling her.

"I can't do this shit I don't want you like that" I told her when she was face to face with me.

"That's bull shit you wanted me" Tanya spat it my face. I could see she was hurt by my words.

"Tanya this is only lust you don't want me anymore then that" I told her softly my jock finally responding to my mind.

"So who fucking cares" She was livid.

"You don't need this shit. Go find someone who can love you T" I said softly again I was not going to let her swearing get to me.

"Who the fuck are you to talk about love. You never look at anyone differently face it your the fucking same as me. And lust who cares we all have it. Not everybody wants love and since when did you care about love. You sure as hell didn't love Jessica and she had a blast with you" She came closer to me twitching her hand.

I started thinking about love when I saw brown eyes. Just hit me so I could go because she was right. Not to long ago I didn't even believe in such a thing called love. I saw it around me but I never saw it as something I could have.

"Your Right! I'm not the one to talk about love Tanya! But shouldn't you at least try. I know I couldn't love you. I know enough to separate other feelings from lust. Shit I would do you but I wouldn't feel anything. Nothing, na-da thing." I was getting pumped

"I don't need love. I can't love. Why when this is so much fun. Why waist fun with hurt and pain? We would be the star couple. Who fucking cares about love!" She screamed completely livid know.

"I. Don't. Want. You" I sighed. I wanted someone else with brown eyes but I'm so fucking disgusting. I do not deserve love.

"Your right I didn't fucking want you ether. It was all lust because I'm not capable of the things you speak of. And nether are fucking you!" she slapped me and ran off. To where? I didn't care.

I focused on the light sting of the slap. I smiled at it's heat. I wasn't capable of love and she was right. I've always known that. What do brown eyes have on me? Those eyes are beautiful. The remind me of what I couldn't have. Yet those eyes are all I see when I close my eyes. When I fall asleep.

I walked around the corner back into the sea of people. Jasper was the first person to see me. He came over to me slowly what ever he saw it scared him.

_He looks like someone just killed his dog or some shit...._

I paused at the mental picture he had of me in his head and decided to block of his fucking thoughts. It was pathetic. I was pathetic to even think I could preach the name of love. To think that I was any different.

"I'm going home, do you need a ride tomorrow?" I asked him almost sounding like a human.

"Naw I'll just take my motorcycle" He looked like he was going to say some more but thought better of it.

"I'll see you at school man" he said. Shit man suck it up you should have known.

"Yea I'll be there. Don't worry I'm not going to jump off a cliff or some shit. Chill man I'm good." I laughed. It was fake but it was something nonetheless.

He never said anything back just walked away and I was grateful. I got in my car and drove fast home. Really fucking fast.

I hopped in the shower and washed away the dirt. I never felt clean after shower's. You can't wash away the person you are. I was dirty inside and fuck was I angry.

I never acted like this. Who the fuck was I.

I am Edward Cullen.

I read minds from time to time.

I don't care if you think I'm Crazy.

Now shut up and fucking go.

Those eyes taunted me while I led in my bed. They taunted me when I closed my eyes. Those eyes belonged to Bella Swan. Isabella Swan. I hardly knew her. I hardly had a conversation with her. Though she held me while I slept.

Isabella Swan, will be the death of me.

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**Well then........**

**I had to do that..... caught you with that Tanya seen didn't I?**

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	11. Put On A Happy Face

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**what are you waiting for start...**

**---------------**

**BPOV**

I woke up in a dreadfull mood. After going no where with the Edward problem I`ve decided not think about it at all. Why should I have to think about something so ridiculous, I didn't have to and wasn't going to at all. So what if I feel weird around him who wouldn't? Edward is breath takingly beautiful. So much so that he resembles a greek god and his smile could put a nation at their knees, But who was looking. Not me, not anymore that is.

I made breakfast with a smile like today was no different then any other day. The truth was that nothing was different then any other day. Alice never spoke about the dream that she had instead she pondered it in her mind. It was nothing special just really creepy.

She was standing in the field outside of the high school. There was nothing around her but tress and mist. There were people in the background moving around indifferently, like they couldn't feel the twist in the air or the sound of the tress. It was like she was the only one who noticed the lifelessness. How the tress hung low and the leaves were gray and orange. Everything looked dead. Then there was a gush of wind and everything started flicking on and off. The scene was green and brown then orange and gray in seconds like it didn't want to settle on just one. Yet it never stopped it just kept going and going and the people around never noticed.

I felt deprived of something. I felt alone. I felt confused. Although most of all I felt alienated.

Yet we sat there like any other day not changing a damn thing. Not addressing the dream. Just living.

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When we got to school I looked everyone in the eyes. I refused to show the weak state that I was in. I spoke to the _friends _I made these last couple of days and none of them pointed out my mood. They smiled and talked and laughed while I stood there looking at them, questioning their obliviousness to my mood. Why would they know, why would they care I was just bella. I was a pro at blocking people out how would they see if I didn't show them. That's how I liked it after all.

The classrooms seemed dull not that it was ever fun. I blew past my classes like they were nothing. I answered the teacher's question with a fucking grade A answer. They were irritated that I could doddle on my note book and still do my work. I wasn't the smartest person on earth but they were so far back then Phoniex. They made this work look so pathetic, they were reading books I read in grade 9.

_Ring, Ring, Ring._

I was up before the teacher even turned around. I went to the bathroom and locked the door after checking to see if anyone eles was in there. I stood before the sink and washed my face. I slowly looked at the mirrior. I looked okay, I was there but not realy. So I smiled, took a breath and fixed my hair. I fixed the jeans I was wearing and popped a few buttons and my shirt. I looked back in the mirrior and liked what I saw. Shit if I'm to much of a bitch to think about relationships then why the hell should I mop over it. I grabbed my bad and opened the door. Today was not going to be any different then any other day. Just live.

I walked into the cafeteria on slowed down. Alice was sitting beside Jasper and beside Jasper sat Rosalie. On the other side of the table sat Emmett and Edward. I had to sit beside Edward. No fucking way was I about to do that shit but of course I was.

When I hit the table Edward didn't even say hi, he never even glanced in my direction. Hot n' cold Mr. Cullen.

"Hey Bella what took you so long?" Alice said

"I had to do a few things before I came here" I replied with a smile

"Oh well Rosalie was about angry" Alice said back.

"Rose did you miss me already. I told you lunch didn't I?" I cooed to her.

Eveyone at the table looked up at the mention of me calling her Rose.

"If anyone ever calls me Rose I will cut your tounge off. That bitch right there has a free fucking pass with dat shit. However if you even stutter it I will kill you" She hissed at them.

"Now Izzy about that thing" She got up from her seat, leaned over to kiss Emmett and started walking for the doors leading outside.

"Call me Izzy and face your death" I smiled at everyone that got up from my seat. I would not leave with out telling Edward that shit was wrong. I'll fucking give you hot and cold. So I whispered in his ear and told him so.

"Not even a hello for the sweet Bella? My, my Edward I thought you wouldn't play games like a 12 year old boy. Oh and by the way you have sex hair. Has it been a rough night?" and with that I walked away.

I don't know why I said that about his hair but shit it did look like he just had a hell of a night. I knew I was pissed that it wasn't me I couldn't deny that I was feeling Edward Cullen. But I'm second to no one. I'm not a rebound chick and I dam sure an't no side chick.

Who was I to judge though. I tease guys and have fun from time to time. I wasn't any fucking different. He was just doing what he dose like i've done what i've done. Though that felt different. It sounded wrong to me. I was back in the Edward problem faster then I could even get out. Well if he was going to play games I might as well have fun to. Fuck he's just a boy.

"That took you long enough. Did you trip on your shoes the way over here Izzy?" Rose asked me.

"Rules we're here for rules" I told her.

"Yes I know. Alice, we fall alone" she retorted.

"Jasper, we fall alone" I responded.

"Listen we're not close friends but I can't walk around with you looking like a troubled teen. Shit Izzy show some fucking curves!" Rose held her hands to my waist and pulled at the extra jeans that weren't fitting.

"I like to feel comfortable I don't want the wind hitting my crotch like it dose on yours" I pulled on her black skit.

"Well shit Bella look at your top. I wouldn't want the wind to hit that rack" She glared at me.

So fucking what I'm not perfect. Tease remember.

"Yea yea. So what about this Jasper thing?" I dismissed the way the old conversation was heading.

"Jasper's like family. I don't want to see some girl mess up and play with him so when I'm not around show those bitches he's off the market. Only if they don't respond to Jasper's polite rejection" She reciprocated.

"Alright then. When these girls mess with Alice when I'm not around make sure they know what it is. That is if Alice can't already handle the situation" I said back to her.

"That seems fair" she nodded

"Yes it dose"

"So alreadly have Emmett I see" By now we stated to pace back into the lunch room.

"Yea I have. There was something I couldn't pass up" She smiled when she said. It was the closed i've seen to affection since I met her.

At that mommet I wouldn't care about her attitude. She was like us all. Blocking things out because we could.

"I noticed that smile" I nugged her with my arm.

"So what" Rose said.

"Nothing at all" I told her.

**EPOV**

Morning was wearisome. My mood from yesterday left a taste in the air and it was plain bitter. Tanya never called in the morning like she used to. Jasper never called for his ride.

Esme was up bright and early making a breakfast that tasted like a wake me up. I know she did it because of yesterday she had to have caught Tanya running off and me after her. She left me alone though and I loved her for that. Carlise left me alone to but he stole glances at me and Esme stole reassuring glances at him. I stole glances at no one.

The room was filled with their thoughts. Lately I've been picking up minds more then usual and I'm not sure if I'm angry or mad about it. They haven't been things I wanted to hear.

Esme's thoughts consists of....

_What happened to him last night....I hope it wasn't anything bad.....Should I ask him about it......Maybe he already knows how I feel......No need to add fuel to the fire......._

Carlise's thought consists of....

_Boy dose he look like a mess.....That Tanya sure did a working on him.......But it was for the best right.....He's trying so hard to not make it show...... Edward...._

They were being to modest even in their thoughts. I knew that I probably looked like shit right know but I wouldn't for long. By the time I'm out of my car I would look fine to the outsiders, there would be no need to ask questions. I knew that Jasper wouldn't pry and that was all I had to really worry about anyways.

The clock was looking mighty slow as I hummed to my ipod in class. The teachers didn't tell me to put it away because they couldn't possibly use the "It's a distraction" thing on me. I could teach this class. I could teach the teachers on how to fucking teach. However none of that would make the clock move faster.

_Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring..._

I got up and headed to my locker to meet Jazz. We talked about nothing really just walked the halls while people moved to the side to allow us space. The girls looked at us pleading silently with their eyes. I would have talked to one of them just to get my mind going but they would want to follow me to lunch and that just wasn't happening.

We sat at Alice's table and was surprised when Emmett came down with Rosalie. Well not really surprised, Rosalie looked like the kind to move fast.

I hung my head low not wanting to initiate a conversation with anyone but when I looked up my mouth almost hung open.

Bella was heading over to our table in low slung jeans that stopped perfectly right on her waist. It was enough to make you think about it all day. The way it showed just enough stomach and showed off her hips. It made me think about what her jeans would look like if they were fitted. Only I could dream.

Her button up shirt was tight on the stomach and opened up at her chest. She looked fucking sexy. I had to look back down just to compose myself I would not think about her, I will not think about her.

I didn't even hear everyone talking at the table. Bella just confirmed it, she was going to be the death of me. I didn't even chance it by saying hi to her, I might of said something like "Bella I was wondering if you were going to walk around like that all day. Or could I lend you my coat"Some dum pops thing like that. I was going to have to punch a few guys for her.

I knew I wanted her, to bad you can't always get what you ask for.

I knew I looked like a ass right now, not even talking to her. She would look at me sometimes and huff with out even noticing. I would look up at her too. Bella was getting up to follow Rosalie somewhere. It was funny how they acted like they hated each other. Calling Rosale Rose and Bella Izzy. It was quite hilarious.

Yet out of all the things that could of happened I did not expect this. For her to whisper in my ear.

"Not even a hello for the sweet Bella? My, my Edward I thought you wouldn't play games like a 12 year old boy. Oh and by the way you have sex hair. Has it been a rough night?" I felt like shit.

I can't deny I wanted to but she was right. Although my hair was taken in the wrong way. Yes Tanya was touching my hair, yes I allowed it to go to far, and yes it probably did look like sex hair. However she didn't know that she was the reason of why I stopped. Her words cut me more then they should have but they did nonetheless.

She did walk in here looking like sex, and she did do it to tease. Why should she blame me for almost doing something. Bella couldn't get that mad over that, she shouldn't want me they way I wanted her.

But I do know that she wants me or she wouldn't have gotten so pissed of at me. I should have just fucking said hi or some shit.

And yes it has been a fucking rough night. I knew it was a rough night for her to it didn't pass me that the front of her hair was wet and when she said she had things to do I already knew.

She was just holding back and I was fucking holding back to.

She was more to me then others. Even if only knowing her for two days.

To bad. She's just do tempting. I was just going to be a ass in biology. It's for her own good.

Or maybe I'll tell her. Then hand her my coat.

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**Well then..**

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	12. Confrontation

**I have granted you another chapter.**

**Edward and Bella did what they had to do... Warning there is alot of swearing in there.... So you have been warned. I had to do it once again.**

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**EPOV**

I had precisely no idea's on how to go about the situation. I was still deciding on what to do about my feelings toward her yet we clearly couldn't go on with out a confrontation. I was still pissed of about the comment of my hair towards the outfit that she clearly worn to attract attention. I was still pissed off that I hadn't said anything back but she didn't give me the chance to storming off the way she did.

Bella was wrong about more then one thing though. I was not playing games with her. In games you know what player you are and what moves you were making. I had no idea on what to make of any of this nor did I no what moves to play next, or what rules to play by, or break.

I was just going to pull myself through whatever was about to happen. I was also going to make sure that everybody got the vibe that I was not to be fucking bothered by any means today. I didn't want the teacher to interrupt me if I was getting somewhere with Bella. I didn't care if I was talking or writing notes I didn't want some teacher or student to make things more complicated then they needed to be.

I glared at everyone as I entered that class making sure that they understood the mood I was in. It's been a while since I had to repeat these steps since I was sure they knew the routine. Back up and stay the hell away. They couldn't offer me anything of interest so there was really no need to talk to any of them. They girls were sure that I was the only thing they couldn't just have. They knew that I had be in the mood to even speak to any of them which was unlikely more and more everyday. Jessica was clearly bragging about that one night stand as Tanya was so kind to inform me. That would be the last mistake I made with any of them. The sad thing was that she thought she had a chance. Pour thing.

I took my seat and listened to my ipod as the classroom began to fill the the student body. Then she walked in head up and eyes looking straight at me. She held my gaze as she headed toward the desk and put her bag on the back of her seat but she didn't sit.

"Watch that will you" she never asked me for my answer just to make sure that I was watching. Or watching closer then I already was.

Bella headed back up the classroom and stopped just a couple desks up before ours. She leaned over and said hi. Bella said hi to Newton and that was all she needed to get a response out of him. Newton started talking animatedly to Bella but she wasn't paying attention. Bella was looking at me and glancing at Newton only to make sure he still thought she was paying attention. She sat on his desk and that was all it took to get a response out of me. I got up, took her by her hand and led her back to our table.

She didn't even look back at Newton just followed me with a smile playing at the corner of her lips. When she sat down I seethed at Newton telling him that wasn't ever going to happen again on his part more then hers.

Then Mr. Barren came in and the class went silent.

"Quietly watch the movie and take notes" he turned off the light and turned on the t.v that I was just noticing.

Bella wasted no time, as soon as the lights went off she turned on.

"Edward you never had to take me away from Mike. I was having a delightful conversation with him" she inclined her head to him.

"Bella to have a conversation there has to be the exchange of words which you didn't do. I bet you don't even know what he was talking about" I raised my eyebrows.

"I said hi to him it wasn't my fault that he never gave me the chance to get a word in. And me not knowing what he was talking about doesn't mean anything. Maybe he wasn't saying anything interesting" she shrugged her shoulders like that was nothing of importance.

"You were looking at me the whole time Bella" I told her.

"Only because you were looking back Edward" she turned her head toward the screen but her body was facing me.

"Why did you care about my hair?" I asked her.

"Why did you care about Newton?" Bella shot back still not looking at me.

"Why are you dressed like that?" I pulled her sad excuse of a shirt even though I liked it so very much.

"Why does it matter? What is a couple of lose buttons going to do?" she turned her head back to me causing her hair to glimmer from the light peaking through the windows.

"How is a hi going to change the world" I asked her.

"So many unanswered questions wouldn't you like to know" she tilted her head to the side running her hair off her shoulder.

"Yes I would so how about you answer them?"

"You never answered mine" she said simply.

I wanted to shake her I didn't want to play this fucking game. Every second I sat beside her it got harder to just listen and be clam.

"Why do we have to play this idiotic game Bella" I threw my hands in the air the way we were talking it was going to be hopeless.

"Idiotic game is a fucking nice way to put it. You started it Edward playing hot and cold, one day we're talking then the next I can't get one freaking hi from you. Shit how hard is it to say hi? On top of that you have that hair people have right after a good night and it looks just more loud on your hair," she breathed in.

"The clothes are how I always dress, does everybody have to comment on them! Edward you could have decided who my clothes were for by just saying hi! That's how _you _saying hi could changed everything. Not the world but just fucking us!" she screamed at me under her breath and it tickled down my neck.

Bella got up from her seat and stormed out of the class. I got up and ran after her not caring that Mr. Barren was calling after us. I grabbed her hand and turned her to me, holding her close.

"I didn't say hi because I didn't know how to. I wasn't playing hot and cold, I wasn't playing anything. Then you said that to me as you left and I didn't know what to make of it. I didn't know why you were so heated with me or why you cared so much. All I knew was that you were dressed like that and you thought that I did something last night and I was pissed. I don't know who I was pissed at me or you I just was," I stopped to make sure she was taking it all. When I was sure that the angry expression she held were for my last words I continued.

"Something did happen yesterday but it never went as far to call the after math sex hair. All I fucking know is that I didn't want Tanya the girl I have no interest for. What I do know is that you stopped me from going to far I don't know how but I saw you when I looked at her, your eyes, I saw you! So fuck Newton. Fuck everybody. I should have said hi I know that now but what the hell was I to do. Now I'm here swearing at you because I want these words to get through to you! I'm sorry for swearing, I'm sorry for not saying hi" I yelled back at her, it killed me to but she had to know.

"Hi Bella"

"Hi Edward" she said to stunned to say anything else.

We sat there staring at each other not saying anything else. You could hear the long slow breaths we both took trying to calm back down. I don't know how things changed but I know that something did. I knew that we didn't exactly say anything to jump over the edge but we both got what we needed to say out.

The world outside didn't change. Her brown eyes held me were I stood, I dare not look away.

**BPOV**

I was shocked by his words and I couldn't say anything that would top what he said and I didn't want to. I wasn't sure were this left us but I didn't push it I was silently gushing that he followed me. Edward Cullen ran after me.

_She was standing in the field outside of the high school. There was nothing around her but tress and mist. There were people in the background moving around indifferently, like they couldn't feel the twist in the air or the sound of the tress. It was like she was the only one who noticed the lifelessness. How the tress hung low and the leaves were gray and orange. Everything looked dead. Then there was a gush of wind and everything started flicking on and off. The scene was green and brown then orange and gray in seconds like it didn't want to settle on just one. Yet it never stopped it just kept going and going and the people around never noticed._

No one had to notice it didn't matter to them only this mattered. That Edward was here with me and something was going to change. If only I knew and he did, did it matter that it was only us. We were here and living.

I looked at his green eyes and for once stayed lost in them. The colour never changed.

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**Huff......umm...wow.....I'm done.**

**This chapter may not be as long but it got to where I wanted it to go.**

**Edward and Bella sure went off on each other....0_0**

**Edward swearing was just to show how much he felt about the whole problem. I did it because of his fustration he needed to let it out and Bella did it for the same reason to.**

**I had to do it... I would say I'm sorry but I'm not... ....XD 0_0**

**Tell me what you Think........Yes you, Tell me what you thought!! =T**


	13. Damaged Goods

**I shake my head in sadness.....**

**I didn't mean for this to take so long. I don't even want to expand on it.....*Shakes Head***

**Well hear it is yup... Just for you.**

**Oh and thanks alot for the reviews. Really I loved them I laughed because they were just that great.**

**Love you! know read!!! R&R**

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**BPOV**

I don't remember what happened for most of the day but I do remember seeing Edward waiting for me after gym.

He didn't say much but walk beside me and talk about everything and anything. Edward didn't say much to me because I could never get enough of his voice. People stared and whispered but never did they once try to come up to us. The girls glared at me and I smiled and waved because it was fucking obscene.

Girls tend to act like that when I'm around and it's funny that I've never really cared. Those girls long for things that have been rejected from them. Like the new basketball captain at my last school who refused to even talk to any girl into he was sure he had my attention. I made him think he had the upper hand because I was bored. When he thought he did he tried to make me jealous by using the girls who fell to their knees.

I smiled and waved then to. It was a waste of time to play their games and act like them. At home they hand normal lives and normal homes. Maybe some of them had skeletons but none of them had mine, I was sure of that. To act like them wouldn't be my nature and maybe that's why they hated me around, because I refused to follow their rules and play mean girls.

I know that Edward must be one of those untouchable guys, I mean look at him it would be a crime if he was anything but. I also know that because he is untouchable he has been touched. Sex hair or not it was made for affection.

When we made it outside there was a commotion going on just beside Resale's red BMW. I paced myself walking up to the murmuring crowd.

"Don't touch the car" I heard Rose say.

"Don't touch the boyfriend" Some other girl shot back.

I pushed some tall guy out of my way and he was saying something back but he got cut off by something. I saw Rosalie standing in front of her car defensively while some other girl held a key in her hand.

This is what I meant by lame. If it was me I wouldn't use a key that was so boring. Maybe a rock or a indent with the heel of my shoe, be creative or something. I'm not the violent type of person but their are something's you just know how to do right.

"Lauren I don't take boyfriends, and I'm not about to fight over some guy but if you even so much as smudge the wax I got on my baby I will rip your hands off" Rose moved closer with every word she said making it obvious that she meant every word she said.

"Emmett is mine" Lauren said with less force then before. She was sizing the distance Rose had just made from her car.

"This is sad. Keep telling yourself that for tomorrow is another day. Now if you'll back the fuck up" Rose waved her hand just inches away from Lauren's face.

"You're such a whore. Always taking what's not yours. What happen Rosalie not enough guys around to please you? Are you feeling neglected by someone? Or did you decide that the alley ways weren't enough for your liking" Lauren hissed.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Rose asked incredulously. Pulling her hands behind her back. They were twitching on the back of her shirt which she held furiously.

"Whore" Lauren said.

Rose shook her head.

"Not enough guys"Lauren said

Rose shook her head.

"Neglected" Lauren said

Rose shook her head.

I was sure that whatever Lauren said next was going to be the end of her life. The was fire flaming from all around her and I swear you could feel the heat that ran off her. She didn't even look at her car, Rose stepped all the way around it making it easy for Lauren to swipe it. Yet she never looked back, She just held her hands behind her back and gestured for Lauren to move on.

"What was that last one?" Rose spoke slowly pulling out the words as if she were spelling them.

I don't know why I feared for Laurens life, and if it wasn't Lauren I was worried about it was Rose. Rose looked like she was about to prepare for a kill. This was not a look you got before getting ready for a fight or being slapped in the face. This was a look of blankness. The most dangerous expression of all. When their was nothing to convey it.

I walked into the circle that was formed. Edward grabbed my hand and tugged back but I kept on walking. I walked right up to Lauren and whispered in her ear.

"It would be best for you to walk away right now. As much as I would love to help you get away I can't. You see there is a problem with what you just said. The problem is I. Don't . Know. What. It. Is."

I backed up and turned to walk behind Rose. I didn't go near her and I didn't look at her I just walked right up behind her and stopped. It wouldn't feel right to hold her back because there were few things that could give me a look like that. And if someone were to do a stupid thing like hold me back I would have their head to.

Instead Lauren walked up to the BMW and traced a line down the side. From what I could see Rosaile's hand fell from behind her back and she ran but not for Lauren. She ran for Lauren's car. Lauren drove a white slick Honda and it would be a shame to see it get the wrath of Rose right now.

But it did.

Rose stopped at the car door and walked around, dragging her hands along the sides. Lauren was about to run for her car but I stopped her with one glance. It would only be that much worst.

She opened the hood just barely enough to look inside before she closed it. She walked back to the door waving some guy over. She pulled on his sweater and he gave it to her but she didn't take it, she just pointed to the floor.

He lied it down pushing some of it under the car. Rose bent over in her shorts, sat on the sweater and ducked under. She was there for only a second before she came back up with something so small yet it had to be important.

Rosalie walked to the forest line and threw it in, dusting her hands off before she walked over to her car pausing before Lauren.

"It was smart of you to not finish your sentence but Izzy won't be here the next time. She saved your life dear Lauren. Oh and, If you drive that car it was your fault you got in" She smiled and brushed her fingers on Lauren's face leaving grease along her cheek bones. Rosalie didn't even look back when she got in her car and drove away.

Lauren looked at me but I turned away. I don't want to see the face that could bring out that kind of shit out of Rose. Rose may not be much of anyone to me but she was enough to give the cold shoulder for.

"Don't anybody call me fucking Izzy" I said before Edward grabbed my hand leading me to Alice's car.

"What did you say to her" He asked me.

"I told her I don't know what the problem was with what she had said, just that it was enough" he grabbed my face in his hands.

"You look like you just saw death or something" Edward brushed his thumb on my cheek.

"No it just that – that. It's just nothing" I failed to tell him anything I was about to but that would be the end. It was just that the rare time's I see a face so alarming is when Alice is called a freak; When Renee let me go, When Charlie didn't stop her, When I fought a girl for calling me crazy, When Alice ran away from a man in her dreams yet never got away, When I couldn't stop him.

It was rage, hopelessness, reaction, and pure hate for the one who unleashed it from you.

I would fight for those faces, and my reaction would be alien even to me.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked.

"No, yes it's been a long day" I turned from him when I saw Alice coming. There was something in his eyes but I didn't look back just held his hand behind me.

"There's no program today" she said getting into the drivers side of the car. Jasper was leaning over talking in her ear, kissing her neck. Why the fuck did he have to do that shit in front of me. Would it even be okay to kiss him I mean there wasn't exactly a declaration. I wanted to jump over the car and get Jasper. Scary tough man Jasper, didn't mean a damn thing to what I wanted right know.

"Your mine" Edward said

Then I froze, was this what I wanted. I would not bring Edward down with me but I was to selfish to let him go. I wouldn't.

"Oh please I had you when I walked through the door" I winked at him turning to open the car door.

"Bella's a little confident I see. There are to many guys around to test me. However Bella don't you try that shit with Newton again" Edward said quite demanding. I hate demands but that shit felt so right. The secrets would kill us. They would and I'm sure.

"Newton is fun don't be like that Edward. You said that I tease and I do because it's fun when I'm bored, but touch Tanya again and I'll show you something" I hissed under my breath making it fall and his neck and he smiled.

"I knew you couldn't be held down" He lowered his head to mine.

"I never said I couldn't but would you take what you find in your hands all and all" I was being serious.

"Would you take what's no good for you. I'm damaged goods you see" I tipped on my toes inviting him to go for it or leave it. This was a big step for me even though this was like candy to a baby to others. I just offered my self to him. To take or to leave.

"I believe were all damaged but who will fix us" He didn't give me a chance to answer he locked his lips with mine softly. I sucked on his bottom lip and he returned the favor but he kept going soft. I was not about to have that shit I've been waiting for this. It should be no less.

I pushed my lips into him warping my arms around his neck taking my feet of the floor. He pushed me against the car and held the small of my back firmly. I wanted closer so I tugged at his hair pushing his lips into me. Then he stopped, he fucking stopped and I was pissed.

"What was that for?" I almost yelled at him.

"I can't do you like that" He said back to me huffing.

"Why the hell not Edward I mean shit" I shot back between breaths.

"I don't know" He shot back.

"Well fuck" I said

"Agreed"

"I bet Tanya didn't feel good like that" I smiled still a little irritated

"Nope"

"I bet no one was like that" He told me.

"No but I sure got more" I opened the door and got in right when I was about to close the car door he grabbed it.

"Tease that wasn't nice" He stared at my lips when he spoke.

"Yea well I'm not perfect"

"And that's perfect" he pecked my lips.

"So what should I do with the number's I got. Tyler looked like fun to talk to" I smiled on his lips it was fun to play with him.

"I'll send the message to Tyler"

"What might that message be?" I asked

He smiled that fucking crooked smile at me.

"Nothing special. Hey you want to come to Rosalie's house with me to hang out with Jasper later?" Edward backed up from the car. So that's how close Rose and Jasper were.

"I guess so"

"6:00 then" he raised her eyebrows.

"Make that 7: 30 don't be late even though since I'm sure Alice heard me I don't want to have to stand in what she dresses me in any longer then I have to" I laughed. "You don't even know were I live. How will you find my house oh smart one"

"The question is how will I not" He threw back over his shoulder as he walked away, hands crossed over the back of his head.

I knew I wanted him as mine. I wanted him to call me his girlfriend but that would be a relationship.

"Hey Edward do you really see me. I mean did I really stop you from-" I yelled at him.

"Yes only you" he yelled back breaking off my last sentence.

I turned from the window to an opened mouthed grinning Alice.

"Don't you say it" I seethed at her.

"You like him a lot. I mean you like him more then just for fun to pass time" Alice said joyfully.

"Listen. I like him but It's nothing like boyfriend girlfriend. It's nothing like hey would you put on this promise ring" I dangled my fingers in front of her. "It's more like hey I like you enough that I want my claim on you" I was not lining but not the full truth ether. I hated keeping things from Alice but telling her would cause her to hope which would cause me to hope to.

"So you two were just kissing up out there. Is this like friends with benefits?" Alice questioned me.

"I don't know what this is OK. We talked, well more like yelled at each other but I think it's okay for now" I said turning the key in the car for her.

"For now?"

"Yes for now" I huffed. I didn't know what I was saying anymore.

"Umm, well that teasing was cute it was obvious that you were just doing it to get him talking"

I lowered my head into my hands laughing it was so clear to her. If only just for a day I could see into the future like Alice, even if it was in my dreams.

However for now I could depend on today like I've always had because hey, tomorrow may never come and yesterday has passed.

Just like all things that stand in the present all we need is time.

These things I kept inside weren't like skeletons at all to me. They were more like hidden truths. Some of them might even be lies of which I don't want to believe in.

I liked that he never made it awkward after that spell we had.

He saw me.

So as far as anyone was concerned.

Tanya, who, what, where, bye.

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**Tell me what you think.....**

**You guys might have thought that it was just going to be "I love you Edward save me" and "Bella your the only one for me"**

**Yea I think not..... maybe later where's the fun in that?**

**What did you think come on tell me......... Yea you for the 1, 000 000 000 time..... get a review on!!**


	14. Who's Calling Me From A Unknown Number

**Do Not Kill Me I Know....**

**I Really Do... I DO!**

**Thanks for all the reviews they really do make my freaking day....**

**A special thanks to HYPERBUNNYATTACK that comment was freaking fucking-ta-bu-lous!!!! Also cem1818, linds14, and dramione12, I see you guys almost everytime you rock no really pat your damn shoulder. Sorry those are the names from the top of my head and the last chapter thx to everyone else.**

**But please don't kill me......**

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**EPOV**

I made a quick trip to the office after walking away from Bella. She asked me how I would get her address as if it would be a problem, ha. I could get anything with a quick smile and a hint of flirting. Even the teachers fell for that stuff and I'm the student. I'm not cocky just confident at times.

"Edward you know I can't allow you to get in the student files the principle would kill me" Angela said sturdy.

"Angela I just want to get someone's house address they know of course. It's not like I'm going to egg it or something"I smiled at her and she second guessed what she was about to say.

"Tell that to the principle when he finds out" She gave me a once over, and I almost forgot the vibe I put off. I chucked at the thought.

_Does he know how he look?_

Yes, well to you I guess. To me not so much.

"Oh but Angela I would only be a second and it only takes one finger to turn of the office camera" I never told her that I knew the office camera was right before her on the side of the main desk, of which she sat. Years of experience.

"Edward jus-" I learned closer right above her head. "Just go but I swear if it's someone's house you egg I had no part in it"

"No part in it. No eggs. Not even here. I got you" I said

She reached up and turned the office camera off. I walked behind the desk and into the back room.

A,B,C,D. S..... A.S, B.S, D.S, I.S

Isabella Swan. Just what I was looking for. I typed the address into my cell phone along with her number. I turned around to see Angela leaning on the head of her chair with her bag and coat.

"I'm not a idiot even if that cameras' off and they wouldn't look at me first. I'm not going to be the last one in here. Bye" She pushed her chair in and walked out leaving me by my self. I had to give it to her good thinking.

_He's just so. I could have said no but that's Edward....Oh my....._

I left the room after looking in the hall way to make sure no one was there. I made a stubble dash back up to my car and got in. I drove the what might have been the long way home if it weren't for my driving. Taking sharp turns not because I was in a rush just because that's how I've always driven.

I walked in and the maid took my coat and bag, but she didn't reach for my car keys. I remember when a new maid insisted on taking the keys saying that's what Mr. Cullen requested. The other maids had to tell her that that didn't require my car keys, never, ever. I gave her a nod and walked up the stairs to my room.  
I dropped my keys on the computer desk, took out my phone and called Jasper.

Ring, Ring, Ring.

"Speak" Jasper sighed

"Where are you going to be at later" I said

"Rosalie's most likely. I'm always fucking there man what do you want" He said not taking stubble questions.

"I told Bella I'd be there and that I'd pick her up"

"So you just invite people over to Rosalie's house with out even asking her. Are you wishing for a sentence to death man. She could do that" I had to wait for him to stop laughing, like I would ever invite someone to her house just thinking it would be ok, right.

"I'm not fucking dumn. Rosalie got into some argument and Bella told the girl some shit. Next thing you know Rosalie fucks up the girl,... a lauren's car. Man was it fucked you didn't even see what she did, Rosalie just ducked under, came up and said don't drive unless you want to crash or some shit. Oh and Bella interrupted and Rosalie didn't even turn on her. In case you missed that part"

"That's Rose for you-"

"Hold on so your telling me Bella stepped in and Rose didn't say anything?" he asked.

"Yup"

"And that Rosalie didn't even flinch on Bella?" he asked.

"Yup"

"What did Lauren say to Rose exactly?" Jasper asked again.

"Something about whore, and being in a alley way or something" I responded

There was nothing on the other end of the phone. I waited into he said something.

"I'll have to warn Rose that you are coming over to her house with Bella. I think she won't kill you. I'm going over right now I have to help he- I have to warn her bye" the line went silent.

If I really wanted to expand on why that was weird I would have made him stay on but since I'm going to get Bella soon, there's not enough time to care. I past the time listening to music but got up at six to eat dinner, always on time.

"Are you going over to Rosalie's house Edward?" Esme asked me.

"Yea I'll be leaving soon after I'm done eating"

"You have no other plans?" Carlisle asked me.

"Well no not really it is a school night after all..."

"That hasn't stopped you before beside's Edward we both know that going out wouldn't fracture your grades" Carlisle took a bite of his food.

"That's why I may or may not have other plans" I said staring into his eyes before focusing back on my plate of food.

"Honey what do you think about the other kids" Esme asked trying to get my attention, and of course I gave it to her.

"The school kids or the ones with the problems?"

"The kids in your program dear" she retorted.

"They are fine, messed up, crazy, and nasty but I could say the same about every other kid in my school" I said.

"Did you make any friends?" She smiled at me.

Am I supposed to tell her about Bella, the girl I have _feelings_ for. Or tell her about the huge big guy with a nice face that doesn't go with anything eles, like the fact that he could kill you. Or maybe I should tell her about how really fucked up they all probably are. Or should I leave that to them? They should at least be able to say their own introduction. I don't want to leave anything out.

"There's no need to make friends when we're all forced to talk to each other. There isn't anytime to squeeze in that 'hey will you be my friend' thing between that back up and get away thing" I smiled back her. Always be sweet.

"Oh well you should try at least it could be good for you" Esme responded.

"Sure why not? It could be good for me after all we could share our craziness together." she giggled and sighed all at the same time.

"Edward you know you're not" She said to me.

We ate in silence after that.

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**BPOV**

I refused to let Alice dress me this was not a date. Never did he say Bella will you go on a date with me like to the movies or something. We were going to Rosaile's house there's nothing special about that. Alice is fast to think he just said that because he didn't know if a date would be okay with me after I told her somethings about what happened at school. I never should have told her any thing about it. Alice tried to get me to wear clothes that were way to seductive for just going over to someone's house, and not even a boyfriend's house.

I settled for a change of my top and different shoes, I mean really it's not a fucking date. At the most it's some kind of gathering, what did people do at Rosalie's house anyway. You could tell that she never asked for people to come over her house and the contract never said any shit about personal space. I wonder what she would say not that I'm asking to be there anyway. It's just that who would want to go to someone's house and just be kicked out at the door? Even if that shit happened I'd just leave, Edward brought me there anyway if he wanted to get in so bad he could beg himself. Not fucking me that's for sure.

Jasper was going to be there. I don't know how I felt about that, after that talk we had I hope he's not like Bella's so sentimental and caring. I hope he isn't so dead with a just kill me sign on his head. If everyone act's normal even though I don't know what their normal is everything should be fine.

To bad I'm not the optimistic.

I let my hair hang down and put the hood to my sweater top on. Alice pleaded to at least put some make up on and I let her thinking hey why not.

Then the phone rang and I stopped breathing, Alice was sure to notice that to.

"Chill Bella it's my cell phone" she said waving her hand in my face.

She ushered her self over to her bag and pulled out her cell flipping it open to answer.

"Hey Jazz" She sang.

I tuned out after that. It was about 6:30 and I was in no hurry other then the fact that Edward was going to be here soon. I had no doubt that Edward could find my cell or house phone number with out asking me for it. Although I did doubt that he could get my cell phone number only certain people could ever perseus that kind of knowledge, and two of them were half way around the country.

"Really? Are you sure? look what happened the last time we were in a room together" Alice sounded spectacle.

Last time we were in a room together...... Rosalie. I guess this is going to be some kind of gathering. This should be the perfect time to test Rose's loyalty skills to the contract. Meaning she better not say one damn thing to Alice that even make's her tick. She's still a bitch but on better terms.

"Fine but only because you're asking me to not even Bella could get me to do this...." She grunted "....Okay bye"

"Now I'm going to go change because for some reason Jasper thought it would be a good idea to invite me over to Rosaile's house to" She said.

"Are you getting a ride with me and Edward?" I asked.

"No he's picking me up but they are coming at the same time just in different cars" Alice walked over to her closet and pulled out a loose fitting sweater, black like mine. She changed and did her make up lightly deciding that this was not a date.

By 7:00 we were done stairs watching some meaningless funny show on the TV. When Paige called we told her that there was no point on coming over because we weren't going to be at the house and there was nothing to do since no one was here.

_"Your turning me on, your turning me on, your turning me. Wait a minute little busta you got one more time to feel on my butty, better a recognize a lady that an't the way you do me. Your turning me on...."_

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and looked at the caller Id it was a number I didn't know so I figured it was Edward's.

"Hello, welcome to the morgue. You slice them we dice them" I only heard laughter, sexy laughter.

"Bella do you really answer your phone like that?" He was still laughing.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Jasper would have loved that" Edward told me

"How did you get my cell phone number?" I insisted

"The office"

"Of course the office where else would you look. I bet you know your way around the back room" Edward could get anything thing I bet. The office was ruled by woman, I should know they tried to get me to join.

"I do you just need to know the right person to ask" I was right.

"By the way Bella"

"Yea?"

"I'm outside your house and Jasper is to" He said

"Okay we'll be right out"

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**Do not kill me I know.....**

**You wanted the house part to be posted....**

**But It's coming.........He He HE HE**


	15. Shakes Hands With The Devil

**Yes this is a chapter for you lovely people! This is tad bit on the bad side so read at your own will.**

**I go a little crazy... oh noo, swearing is up and about in this chapter...**

**Beware...R&R**

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EPOV

Bella was the most beautiful person I have ever seen, even with Alice standing there you could see that Bella was a beauty. Although I'm sure Jasper would tell you different.

I really have to stop fucking talking like this. All the she's a beauty shit is really getting on my nerves. Edward does not talk about girls on this unknown level of thinking. I couldn't fight the fact that she was hot, and I mean hot. Rosalie is hot but that cocky shit blows all the fun out the window. There's something about a person who doesn't know how they make other people feel. They almost draw the out sider in with their obliviousness.

Alice came out first dressed to her best is what I learned to see her as. Alice never looked like she had a off day. Always bright and sunny never clouds and rain. I could see why jasper thrived to be around her. She's always content and blissful never stopping to throw some off his way.

Jasper needs that shit. All that fucking deep depression is going to get him one day and I hope to never get caught in the down pour. I would never give up on him though, the day I did I would no it's over. Jasper lives on feelings, he breaths in clouds of emotion everyday. I can't start to tell you that I know how it feels or tell you that I understand where he's coming from because I don't. I could only be at a level with him so far from my own understanding, so far from my own problems and faults.

Everyone depends on him. His spirit drags you in and when you decide that Jasper could be that shoulder to lean on it all falls down on him. Yet another person to look after other then the ones he already has. He told me that the only people he really gave a flying fuck about were me, Rosalie his mom, and Alice. He told me that he cares about everyone but when it comes down to it he only has the time for our shit.

Jasper can't fix the whole fucking world and he'll tell you that him self. Jasper actually thought about just sending out that fuck you vibe like I do so people would just fuck off but it never works well. They always slip through and give him another reason to be in therapy like the rest of us.

Who new you could be damned by having charisma, a little to much at that. Jasper and his deep depression, Alice and her merriness, who new?

There are things that I'm sure he wouldn't just out and tell Alice and that's why they had their break down. Secrets will tear the world apart.

However who could blame them not me for sure. Jasper and I have never expanded on my craziness or the things that will drive him into being crazy further then what we can understand on our own levels. But considering to make assumptions on some one else on levels that you couldn't begin to understand would be just plain wrong. 'Tis the explanation we have the saying 'do not judge a book by it's cover' you will most likely be screwed over in the end.

Furthermore this is the reason we are each others best friend. We don't fucking push the buttons to our attire. Just like I never questioned the sensitivity to Rosalie's protection. It was nothing more then straight looking out for one another. They knew almost everything about each other. This was why I never questioned the way she worked against Alice. It was just how they fucking worked and you needed to have some kind of understanding to know not to question it. Just like he had the understanding not to question why I asked him not to think about anything to important around me. Jasper knows why he shouldn't but he never pushed the button and never called me fucking crazy just because he couldn't understand it.

That's why I hate fucking pushy people, like psychologists.

When we reached the the outside of her house and saw us she ran back in to open the gate. Their house was huge and gated of just like the other homes on this block. Rich people love to show that they have more money then everyone else like they wouldn't pick up on it when they see the house it's self. There was no need for a protection gate in forks there was never any crime but who am I to talk I have one to. Only I know why we have one, we have one so that if I decide to leave late at night the alarm will go off and the parents will be up in no time to try and stop me.

We drove up and stopped right in front of the grand opening. It looked almost vacant to say the least. Bella's house was shiny and tall not homely like mine at all. Maybe it was how Esme decorated that made my house look lived in. Or maybe it was because it was lived in. I don't know why this stock out to me but it did and that bothered me.

Bella came out shortly after and I couldn't help but notice that she changed her clothes. It was a black sweater with a hod but it was so loose and lanky, and sexy. Her hair was hanging down and wavy poking out the sides of the sweater. She was gorgeous.

She waved at me from the steps as she descended down carefully watching her steps. I laughed and she just shrugged her shoulders making it ride up her stomach a little bit. Her outfit was similar to what Alice was wearing but I couldn't take my eyes of her to say how so.

"Hey" I yelled out the car door.

"Hey" she said taking hold of Alice's hand gasping and laughing toward the direction of Jasper.

I turned my head to see what they were laughing at and sighed.

I forgot that Jasper decided to bring his motorcycle instead of his car. He told me something about Alice wanting to get a ride on it and I said sure thing. Of course a girl her size would love to ride on the back of a motorcycle. Jasper replied with 'you'd be surprised'.

He was right because to my surprise she ran over to him on grabbed the extra helmet saying something about the colour being wrong. She inspected it before she ran back in side and came out with a small hat. Alice put the hat on paying attention to her hair.

"Alice you're not going to get helmet hair"Jasper laughed

"Just because you can put this over your head and not care doesn't mean I would do my hair wrong by letting it be slapped around. Why do I have to wear this anyway Jazz? I won't fall off or anything and your a good driver"

"Alice you haven't even seen me drive this thing beside just now" Jasper said to her.

"Jazz do you really think you would let me on if you couldn't drive good. I mean you wouldn't bore me with going slow.. would you?"Alice tilted her head to the side and smiled. Jasper just sighed.

"I wouldn't let you on this thing without the helmet and since we are going fast - the fast that you like to drive - your not coming anywhere near this thing without it. Put it on please?"

"Fine" Alice huffed turning back to Bella who was laughing at the whole scene.

"Bella put it on my head while I hold down my hair sticking out the sides"

Alice used her small hands to lightly hold down the spikes while Bella put the helmet on her head smacking the top saying all done.

Alice skipped over to Jasper and he told her something that made her laugh and punch him.

Then there was Bella.

She didn't look nervous of anything just maybe calm and relaxed walking over. I got out and opened the car door for her.

When I got back to my side and got in she was toying with the radio.

"Don't change the station"I said.

"I never took you for the classical type Edward" She removed her hand and placed it on her lap.

"Don't be put out. I never allow anyone to touch my radio" I replyed, more to her hands in her lap then to her comment. "I don't exactly look like the type to listen to anything without a major beat do I?"

"You don't but know I wouldn't put it past you" Bella told me grinning.

There's allot of things I wouldn't put past me ether. Like looking at her thighs shameless.

"Edward?"

I snapped my head up and started the car.

"Jasper are you going or what?" I yelled out the car window.

He answered by holding on the breaks just before he took off. All we could hear was the sound of Alice laughing.

"Don't tell me you drive slow now?" Bella said.

That's all I needed to take off. I thought she was going to be the type to drive at the speed limit.

"Thank you. Who really drives slow now a days anyway. Even my mother cranks it up a notch" She sang from her seat. The wind made her voice sound different. Bella was leaning on the window with her hand out the car. Her hair was whipping all over her face and she didn't mind one bit.

Then she closed her eyes and a smile played at the sides of her lips. Almost twitching just barely moving up, but it looked like she wouldn't allow herself it.

I kept looking at her only glancing at the road since I knew like the lines on my hand. There was something wrong about her. I don't know if it was the stressful free look on her face, or the way she would bite her lips forcing the smile away. Whatever it was made me think that she could take the things I've gone through but then how could that even be possible. Would god make her go through the things people should never see or even hear. It would be a shame to think that he could do the same to her.

But then he never did explain the reason to his mad joy ride on me so why not her?

I knew she was opening her eyes but I still looked and when her eyes caught mine I still looked.

When Bella never looked away I took the advantage to search her eyes for something, anything. I needed something to tell me that I'm wrong. I wanted something to tell me that the world couldn't be that fucked up... and I saw nothing. Nothing but a faint twinkle at the sides, fading into the brown of her eyes.

I could see a car changing lanes in front of me and as much as I didn't want to look away I did.

Bella was still staring at me. I tried hard to hear her mind just anything to tell me I'm crazy but nothing came. Just the hum of my car and the whisper of wind.

I wanted to know what made her eyes so dark and haunting. I wanted to know the secrets that plays on her eyes and the reason for the hiding.

Yet instead of asking I kept my eyes on the road and my mind on the destination.

------- ---- --- ------------

When we pulled up the drive way Alice and Jasper were talking by the motorcycle. They seemed carefree living into I remembered that even they were hiding something. Except they were at least allowing them selves the moment of happiness only to go home and feel nothing but.

Bella was reaching for the car door but I stopped her.

"At least let me get that for you" I don't know if she saw beyond my words and I don't think I wanted her to.

She was patiently while I turned off the car and opened her door. I took her hand while she got out the car helping her up.

She didn't let go.

Jasper opened the door with his key and called up the stairs for Rosalie. Now If I thought Bella's house was grand Roalie's looked like a model home from a magazine. Everything was perfect but the people in it.

Rosalie called everyone up to her game room. Out off all the rooms in her house and all the hallways leading off I only liked this on room. It was because in this room Rosalie breathed. She knocked off all the shit and relaxed.

Jasper lead the walk up the stairs into the part that I called Rose territory. Not even the maids walked these part but two of Rosalie's favorites.

Rosalie was sitting at her computer when we came in. Typing away at something like a mad women.

"Rose" Bella passing her to the couch.

"Izzy," Rosalie said in the same manner. "Jazz, Edward, Alice" Not even bothering to look up from the computer screen.

A melody of responses played about the room. Everyone found their way to the couch and TV while Rosalie finished up on whatever she was doing.

But when she did we stopped making small talk.

"Ok, apparently I'm supposed to be nice or some shit and extra nice to Alice but we all now the chances of that I hope. So how about we all act like we would any other day. No fake-ness and no Bullshit Kay?"

Nods went around the room. I had to respect her style, girl didn't give a shit.

"Any who... so what do you people want to do? Drink, Xbox 360, Poker?" She asked us waving her hands about the room.

"Drink" Bella sang hopping up from her seat next to me. "I make a killer mix"

I gave her a questioning look so she shrugged and winked at me. "I used to be a bartender for the kicks"

"Point me to the bar" Bella expressed by turning about in a circle.

Jasper pointed to the corner of the room and she was off.

"Ok so now we have drinks lets make this fun shall we? Jazz could you make sure my parents are almost fucking out. Alice follow me and Eddie get the music would you?" Rosalie suggested.

I raised my eyebrows at the nickname and she responded with "Take it or leave it. It could always be worse" So I took it and went off the see what tunes she had. It's her house I'll make her have it.

Luckily the sound system was right beside the bar. Bella was searching through the wine rack and pulling things off the shelf. I have to admit that she looked fucking hot, out of all the things she could do she asks to mix the liquor, priceless. When she caught me looking she said "What never seen a girl with tequila" and laughed.

I picked 3 CD's. Some stuff the girls would like and things me and jazz listen to. I hit rotate on the stereo and pressed play.

I don't know if it was when the poker table was set up or when Jasper reported back to Rosalie that I realized, this was going to be, a long night.

Rosalie called someone on her phone and Jasper called me over to play Xbox 360 while Alice and Bella talked at the bar and danced to the music.

It most have been 15 minutes when the door bell rang and Rosalie said with a evil twist. "Let the games begin"

**BPOV**

Right when Rose said that I almost laughed. Of course this was going to be that party all the horny little school kids go to. We were at her house and she was addicted to sex. What do you get with a group of teenagers who have been dying to let out some steam and are in a almost empty house together?

A hell of a night that's what.

Rose used the intercom to let the maids know to let the person right up and order the usual pizza.

It was no surprise when Emmett burst through the door in his big man stance. Rosalie wouldn't allow herself to be game keeper and not play. With everyone paired off at the moment it was obvious that she wasn't getting any of anything. Not Jasper and she damn sure ain't getting Edward.

Emmett looked about the room dapping Edward and Jasper, spared a smile for me and Alice, before whispering in Rose's ear making her laugh. She leaned into him like she was going to kiss him before pushing past him and laughing some more.

He recovered from her tease and asked for food.

"It's coming soon go play with them for a sec" Rose said pointing to the guys and walking over to us.

"Is he still looking?" Rose asked us. I smiled and she said "Good".

"Now please don't tell me you guys are boring girls with strong morals that you never put down. And please don't tell me you're going to object to everything and anything that's fun" Rose sighed taking a seat at the bar.

"As long as it sticks to Jasper I could careless" Alice gabbed.

"Ditto" I related thinking about Edward. I'm not even a hoe but he makes me think on the different side of the road sometimes. Sometimes happening to be right now.

I seen the way he kept looking at me and I almost laughed at memory. Although the time in the car was so wired I couldn't even begin to explain. It was almost like he was seeing things I didn't want him to see so I kept my eyes closed and drifted off.

"Good, so what should we do first" She asked.

"Lets get a mellow going on first" I said. "Who wants some drinks" I yelled.

The guys started coming over arguing about who won and who didn't.

Jasper asked for a Dry Rob Roy, I took him for the hot simple type.

Rosalie rang me up for Zombie and Alice for a Whiskey Sour. Emmett asked for a Rusty Nail and Edward with a sexy crooked grin asked for a Stinger.

I made myself Tequila sunrise. So for the most part we had a pretty nice mellow going on.

I flirted with Edward and shot a few words at Emmett to watch Edwards face. Rosalie did the same to tease Emmett which you could tell was driving him up the wall.

I gave everyone a little on purpose because if there was one thing I did hate about parties were overly drunk teenagers.

"Lets play I never" Alice sang.

Everyone made their way to the couch and floor. I made lemon Drop shots just to watch their faces twist in pain.

When the drinks were on the table I sat on the floor with my legs over Edwards leaning on the couch. Alice was on the chair with Jasper at her feet. Rosalie and Emmett were seated on the couch with her legs on his lap.

Rosalie started off the game picking a shot from the table.

"I never had sex" She said laughing at her joke and took the shot.

Everyone took a shot after that.

"I never went oral"Alice said. Jasper sidewayed glanced at her and she smiled sweetly.

Everyone took a shot.

I decided to let Edward raise his own sexy eyebrow. "I never kissed a girl" I said.

Edward did exactly that and took a shot along side everyone else except for Alice.

I did it once with my friend Leah because we wanted to piss off her ex boyfriend. He would always be a jerk and say how hot it would be if I could ever join them. My face twisted in horror. So when Leah did break up with the cheating ass hole we gave him a little show at a club and laughed our faces off afterwards, nothing to gruesome.

After that we just started pouring out things and the shots slowly made their way into smaller and smaller groups.

I would have never thought that that Emmett's big ass would even be able to to have sex in the shower or that Jasper would flash someone his man hood when he was drunk.

I wouldn't have thought that Alice ran down the street naked one weekend at a party I was to sick to reach or that Edward had a quickie in the back seat of a car.

To say the least everyone made weird faces with each shot they took and ended up in different places by the time it was done.

I was leaning over Edwards legs butt in the air. Roalie was on emments lap and Alice's legs were over Jasper's shoulder.

Funny how shots make you feels ok with doing alot of things.

Like that fact that I knew Edward was watching me, and liked it.

But that was nothing compared to what I got myself into. Agreeing with Rosalie was like shaking hands with the devil.

We were playing strip poker next.

And with the looks going around the room and the buzz in my mind this was going to be something.

We sat at the poker table Alice was dealer. Edward was on my right with Emmett on my left. Rosalie was beside Emmett then Jasper then Alice.

Could you say a-oh?

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**I'm Sorry I Know I keep doing this to everyone... *smacks head at my own will***

**But it's to fun... tisk tisk... GO REVIEW **

**Tell me what you think there was supposed to be more to this chapter but I thought I was caving into my darkside...so I stopped.**

**before I worte something to crazy.... review..**


	16. Grow The Hell Up

**Please Review.. I would like to see what everyone thinks of my story and the chapter really. Thanks for the reviews, enjoy reading what's to come. R&R**

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**BPOV**

Alice started everyone off with the same amount of money. No one was taking the chance of betting with real money because were weren't in the right state of mind. The chips were being stacked and the cards were going around. After every second round and some clothes were dropped Alice had to drop something to – it was only fair- compared to Jasper.

Round one.

Everyone was trying to play their best poker face, smiling when they shouldn't be, frowning when they should have a smile. Then there were the faces with nothing on it, like mine, Edward, Jasper and Rosalie. It was clear that we never had to worry about Emmett at this point. His game was black jack so we all had a upper hand on this game, into he caught on that is.

Cards were being picked and the lasts bets were being placed on the table. When Alice put down the last of the round Jasper backed out and Emmett.

Slowly I pulled my cards down onto the table. Then Rosalie and Edward.

Rosalie won. Edward second then me.

The rule was that the second person didn't have to take off anything or the first, but anyone after them were screwed.

I turned to Edward with an evil smile. He shrugged his shoulders locking eyes as he took off his shirt...

he was wearing a wife-beater. Bitch.

But Emmett wasn't, my god was he something. All muscle and arms and abs and oh. Rosalie looked at me and smirked running her hands down his arms.

Jasper took off his shirt earning a nod from Alice. She just looked at his body not even caring to look up. Jasper just looked back. I couldn't even lie that he had some hot bad boy going on, and again wondered how they ever worked.

Round two.

My shirt feel to the floor. Black lace bra, I would have to thank Alice later. She taught me to never wear simple undergarments to dates and the eye Edward was giving me made me want to hug her.

Edward dropped his wife beater. It was like looking at a god all lean and clearly defined muscles with abs. A chill ran up my spine by just seeing this part of him I haven't seen before.

I was to fucking mellow to care that there had to be lust in my eyes. I was forcing myslef to listen to the voice of reason telling me to take a chill pill. So I picked up my eyes and smiled at pure green eyes.

Alice had her top off, I couldn't care to explain her bra. It was black with strips and completely hot. It was Alice even her bra went good with the sweater top on the floor. Jasper couldn't keep his eyes always and Alice held no blush. Poker face.

Rosalie on the other hand took off her pants.

"Halter top bitches I'm not wearing a bra" she said like it was obvious. I just laughed when Emmett's jaw hung low. Priceless.

Emmett had come second to Jasper and they both kept their pants. It was a surprise when Emmett won making all our cards look sad as hell.

Round Four.

Clothes hit the floor, chips were lost and Emmett won.

Nothing but bras, underwear and boxers.

I had on nothing but a bra and underwear as well as Alice. Emmett, Edward and Jasper were in boxers.

Rosalie Ms. Vixen herself had on nothing but underwear with her arms crossed over her chest.

I found it absolutly hilarious. I had another drink in round three.

I thought it was fair to call the game off. No way was anyone seeing my girls because of some card game. Edward let out a breath of air rubbing his hands together.

"_The pizza is here Ms. Hale. The pizza man had a hard time finding the house."_The women's voice came through the intercom.

Rose walked over and pressed the button being careful to hold her other arm over her chest.

"Bring it up and leave it outside the door but knock before you leave."She replied.

"_Yes Ms. Hale" _The voice came back.

"Thank you Helga" Rose said. I was shocked that Rose said thank you. I thought that she was the kind to treat her maids like crap before I started laughing at the name she called her.

There room filled in with laughter except for Jasper.

"Shut the fuck up you couldn't hold a candle to her," Rose sneered.

The laughter stopped but no one said sorry but I knew she didn't expect it from us.

"But then again you all crazy. You might burn yourself trying" She told us thoughtfully.

And then we started to laugh again.

----- ----- ------- ----------- -----------

It was wierdly not awkward when we were all half naked thrown about the couch, chairs and floor, eating pizza and watching a movie that no one was paying attention to.

My smile left my face when I really saw the people in this room. Here were teenagers just hanging out half naked and I would never think that they all had some serious problems. Rose was confident with her body and the way that she carried herself. The suttle things she did like standing up for her maid made me think if she really was heartless and crazed with sex. I wouldn't think that sometimes Alice has a problem with getting a grip on reality because seeing the future, in really fucked up ways, has her questioning her own sanity.

When I see the rest of the people in the room I don't even know what to make of them. Jasper and his great personalty - the few times that I did speak with him – seemed calm and cool. Thinking about him on a level like my own was hard and confusing, frustrating even. Emmett seemed like any other student I would meet in school or a frat boy in college. He was loud, fit, horny, and a true typical guy.

Now Edward was unlike any person I have ever met. I don't know what made him a mystery to me. Maybe it was the way he smiled or the way he always looked like he was about to say something. Maybe it was the way the smoothnes of his skin ruffed out to the muscles in his body or the way his hair never had a specific colour. Maybe it was the fact that I never really asked him or the fact that he never told me, not that wanted him to jump out and tell me anyways.

Or was it the feeling he gave me like I was aways searching for a clue, a hint, a scar, anything. I bet his tears even held yearning.

Or maybe just by a chance I over looked, it was because I truthfully did not know this boyish man beside me. The guy that makes my stomach flutter and the hairs on my neck stand up.

I want to know why he grips the steering wheel to hard and why he opens my door. I want to know why his true smile is only really half of one. I want to know why I see him at counselling or why he brushes my hand and never grabs.

Only thing is that I had a feeling I would never know.

I hardly knew myself. I hardly knew Alice, Charlie or Renee.

Who the fuck were we?

--------- ------ ---- - -- - - -------

"Who wants to have some more fun?" Emmett asked grinning.

"I don't think I have any room for more 'fun'" Alice responded.

"Me ether" I said.

"Oh come on food is supposed to give you more energy. Even junk food has its kick." He complained.

"Show us what you got" Rose said waving her hands.

Emmett walked over to his pants and pulled out a small bag with white powder in it. If I was a idiot I might have thought it was sugar or baby powder, just something dumb like that but I knew better.

It was ether crack, heroin, or angel dust, the options go far. I felt Edward tense up beside me and Jasper freeze. They were both looking at the bag like it was death coming to take them and there was no way out. My face flushed when I remembered the first session we had at school. They have taken drugs and it`s not exactly like any one said they stopped. I even pop a few more pills now and then.

It was just different for them and by the looks of it much different.

I reached out for Edward stopping short to touch him. I had no idea what to do or what the hell was about to go down. I didn't think that Edward would snort it in front of me or brush it off. I`m not sure what I would do if I seen it happen before my very own eyes.

Rose was looking at Emmett with a murderous glare but Emmett was clueless. He made his way back over to Rose tossing the bag back and forth between his hands. Both Edward's and Jasper's eyes followed that bag back and forth, side to side.

I was sudenly scared and helpless for these people.

"I don't think we could fit any more fun into this evening before Rose's parents returned home" I said.

"They won't be home into the early morning Bella" he said back.

I looked to Rose for a confirmation and I was meet with the blank but killer glare focused on Emmett.

So I took it as a yes and continued.

"Well we were about leaving any way right Edward?" I asked but I was met with silence.

He was still looking at the white powder. I was trying to guess which one it was. I took off angel dust because it wasn't common to find. So it was ether crack or heroin.

"Edward?... Edward?.... Edward!" I yelled grimly under my breath tugging on his arm. He snapped out from it and looked at me. Pleading for something with his eyes, the eyes that I keep searching asking me for something.

"Emmett we don't want no fucking white stuff.. whatever the fuck that is" I said.

"Doesn't look like it to me and that white stuff is called heroin" Emmett laughed looking at Jasper and Edward.

"Well they don't fucking want it" Alice yelled getting worked up holding Jasper's hand tightly.

"Just put it away. Do it on your own time, even though you shouldn't be having that shit in the first place" I pleaded.

He picked up the pack and tossed it into Jasper's lap. Jasper picked it up and looked at it as if he didn't know what to do. Rose shot up from her seat and grabbed it from his hand causing the elastic to come off and spill some onto the table.

Edward and Jasper both shot their hand out at the same time to touch the powder. Before they could reach it I smacked away his hand glaring at him and so did Alice.

"Everyone out my fucking house now! Emmett take your shit and get out! I said e-fucking-nuff!"

She picked up the bag putting back on the elastic and threw it at him.

"You just don't fucking understand" She said picking up his clothes and throwing it at him then turned around and put on her own shirt.

"Get out... get out...get out" Rose chanted like a deep sad song.

"I thought everyone had to get out"He said.

"I meant you and you know it. Take your shit and get out. I. Am. Not. Repeating. My. Self" She looked at him daring.

He stood there estimating her courage.

He walked up to her and bent down to her ear. Emmett was going to touch her but she winced away from his hand shaking her head. Emmett whispered in her ear only looking at her.

And just like they were the only people in the room Rose whispered soft and ruff.

"Your wrong this is who I am and always will be. Now get out" She hummed low and smooth.

He kissed her ear and she didn't move as if she was trying to remember something and couldn't reach it. Then she was moving fast and swift to the door, moving like nobodies business. Rose opened the door and step to the side. Emmett followed behind, walked past and said.

"It's not like I cared"

"I never thought you did" She said clean and clear shutting the door behind him.

Rose never to a breath before she walked to the other door in the room and disappeared.

A silence played in the room daring to be touched. We put back on our clothes in a respected distance apart. A older women came through the door dressed in maid attire. She took us in and disappeared through the other door too just like Rosalie did.

We made our way down stairs and out the front door. Passing the threshold me me almost feel unreal. I waited at the car for Edward saying nothing and doing nothing. When Edward reached me I held out my hand pointing to the car behind me. He gave me the keys disinclined to say anything to me. I walked over to the other end of the car and started the engine. He climbed in and before he could even put his seat belt on I was driving down and out the gate.

The sun had just set and there were purples, reds and orange in the horizon. I kept driving not even thinking about were I was heading before I was there and the car was parked, engine off.

I got out the car and started walking up the hill not really caring if he was following after me, he could stay in the car if he wanted to. I hopped the fence - it being locked for the coming night - and continued to walk towards my destination. I heard the fence shake a little far behind me but I didn't look back.

It's just like I remember them, stone and gone.

_James Johnson_

_Loved and Missed Always _

_1985 - 2006 _

_Mark Smith_

_Forever Loved, Cherished and Missed_

_Rest In Peace _

_1981 - 2006_

I stood there staring slowing moving to the floor. The grass was green and alive compared to everything else in the graveyard. The mild light played tricks on my eyes casting shadows on the stone walls and stone tombs. Edward came and sat down beside me not saying a word. We sat staring fixedly at the tombs memories of lost ringing through my head and the tears that were shed – for one.

"Mark Smith. Weird and lovable man," I said "James Johnson. Wicked and careless kid."

I let the words hang in the air untouchable and true. Edward still didn't look at me but I knew that he was listening to my every word.

"James died of heroin overdose and a black heart. Mark died for the life of someone I loved and I'm forever grateful" I told him.

"I never knew why James took a liking to her or why he was so intent on keeping her for himself. I knew that Mark cared for her like he would a daughter and would never hurt her. James lived there because he was addicted to heroin and couldn't breath with out a daily fix. He said he had undeniable attraction to her even with the age difference or so he said he didn't think for sex. He said that there was no way of keeping him away from her, if I was outside and he was in. Mark promised to do what ever he could to make sure James stayed in the male section and her in the female. I hated him with every bone but there was nothing I could do to get her out or stay with her. God knows I would have jumped at the chance to even stay the night" I spoke as if he wasn't there. Sharing this side of me that no one knows and the spot that I was into during that horrible year was personal to me, but I felt that he needed to hear it or I just needed to say it, I'm not sure.

"I can't clearly remember what happened. I got a frantic call from her one night and I drove for what seemed like hours to reach her. When I got there I banged on doors but no one would come, no one. I broke open one of the few windows that didn't have bars and ran for my life, her life, our life. I was late when I seen him on the floor withering in pain, sweat on the face, needle in hand, blood on the face. I don't even know why I tried to help him, this man who taunts my friend, my sister, bond thicker then blood could ever be." It hurt to retell this part of me I hid for years. Edward was now looking at me. I think he thought I was going to cry but I don't cry, I never shed a tear for things that I should. I'll cry because I'm pissed but when someone dies or gets married I never cry in joy or sorrow.

"Mark was holding a knife to his chest, tears in his eyes, blood on nurse shirt. I was trying to figure out where the blood was coming from where had the knife pierced his skin. She was crying on the floor shaking in sweat and I ran to her grabbing her. I seen blood on her arms and almost screamed when I realised it was coming from my hands, the hands I touched mark and James with" I paused almost shaking from the scare that I had when I thought she was bleeding to.

I took a deep breath and looked him in the green depths of his eyes.

"James died that same night. Mark died soon after he told the hospital a mixed story of what happened. She was let lose of the place because they didn't have enough fixed opinions on her state. They didn't know if they believed what they did before or if she was just a girl running from her attacker. To scared to tell the truth even to be let out of that hell with him near. Mark made them think that she was just giving people hints with what seemed like crazy stories and it worked. She came home and things have never been the same. You can't take back the past Edward you can only move forward." I said very seriously.

He just looked right back at me but I know he got the message.

"There's a time when we all need to grow the fuck up. We need to know what's good for us and what's not. We have to understand what the shit we do affects the people around us no matter how big or small. Stop fucking with the shit that harms you. It doesn't feel good not have control with you own body and mind does it?"

He never said anything just darted her eyes to the floor taking away my green forecast.

"Then get a fucking grip and grow up like I need to and still am. It's easier to say then do I know this but I still fucking try" I said.

"Come on lets go"

We walked away leaving the past behind every step we took and the party behind our heels.

-----------------

**Tell me what you think! really I want to know if the chapter was any good? the more reviews the faster I want to get back to everyone reading, but I'm not going to not update because of reviews. Tell me what you thought! 3**

**I had to do it.... got to let things go...**


	17. Say Something

**I'm Sorry if there are any mistakes I lost this chapter on my computer and didn't have the chance to look over because me and my beta were having problems transfering the file.**

**Sorry for the delay.**

**R&R****EPOV  
**She drove herself home that night with me in the passenger seat. We never tried to initiate any form of conversation, or even small talk. The silence was welcomed on both parts, me not wanting to discuss what happen, and her not wanting to talk at all really. She wasn't spaced out or anything in fact she couldn't have been more alive in those few minutes I was with her.

* * *

She was calm, collected and peacefull while we drove in the car. The way she drove was smooth and relaxing. She drove at a speed just between the edge of fast and slow, the lights were moving in fast colours outside the car window.

Bella never looked so there in all the times that I've seen her – I mean really there – breathing and looking like she was the kind of person that was heading somewhere. You know that ones with their head on their shoulders and the world laid out in front of them. The person who always seems like they know where they're going and who's waiting for them. Bella looked like that person in the moment she was that person.

I don't know how she could do it, talk about her sister and then go back to the world. Who would have thought she saw someone die before her eyes and a sister in what I thought had to be an asylum, with the bars on the windows being a big flashing sign.

I don't think Bella would have told me that story on her own will I don't even think I would have ether.

Heroin was both the drug, the user, the addiction and the killer in her story. I did not miss the part that said Alice was let out on a made up story which means that she _was_there for a reason, a real, mislead, or misunderstood reason. Alice lived in an asylum for what might have been a year, wow.

I was always scared shitless that one day while I was in my room listening to music or just doing nothing, people would try to come and take me away from my house in a stray jacket.

I would have never gone down without a fight, they would've had to trace me around the world before they could ever take my freedom away for something I had no control over.

We pulled into the drive way, her leaning over to open the gate and get us through. Alice was standing at the door taking us in as we both come out the car to exchange places.

I walked past Bella daring her to look at me to glance at me, just something to tell me I'd see her again but she gave me nothing. Not even bothering to say bye.

With my head held high I returned back to my right full seat. I wouldn't give her the gratification to see me with anything but my head held high at this point. Shame or no shame it wouldn't have the best of me.

I sighed when I was back in the car and stole a moment of regret. I knew what it was the moment Emmett took it out. There was no way I couldn't. Heroin the companion to my infected mind and body. It took me to the sweetest of places anyone like me could ever know. The place of euphoria and pleasure, the feeling away from my real emotions. The feeling away from home.

Seeing it there was as tempting as a women who was flaunting herself at you but you also knew she probably had more then six men a week. When Bella slapped my hand away it took all off me to push it away I tried to concentrate on nothing but the depth of her eyes, and the brown of her hair. She really did look hot when she was mad.

I couldn't even focus and getting Jasper away from it. I'm usally the one pulling him away and tugging at my self to leave but I was just so_, _so.... relaxed and not thinking, not hearing anyone's thoughts but the blur of my own.

I walked through my door ignoring the protests of the maids yelling at me to take off my shoes and so on. I walked past my mother sitting on the couch reading her booking, peeking up at me under her lashes. I walked past my father sitting at Esme's feet knowing better then to follow after me.

"Don't forget that we're always here when all else fails" Esme said, cutting me off from the first step to the stairs.

I turned around and walked back over just like she knew I would. I swear she could make the strongest of men cry over her every heart ache.

I kissed her on the forehead and nudged Carlisle's head before heading back the way I was heading.

I closed the door to my room, and jumped in the shower. With the water hitting my face and the soapy rag moving crazy on my skin I hopped I could erase everything.

But when I whipped my hand across the steamy mirror I still saw the same thing.

The days passed uneventful and speechless. We both went about our business and acted like the other wasn't present. We started sitting at the same table I'm not sure how it happened exactly.

Jasper came to the table one day with Alice and Alice always sitting with Bella dragged her along. Both Rosalie and I didn't say anything to the addition we just continued to eat and go about our business.

Emmett was never added in. He didn't even show at lunch most of the time. I guessed that he chilled in the back like most people tend to do. No one really liked to be seen around his group thinking that they to would be labled trouble.

They weren't even all the bad half of them didn't even use the stuff they selled. I thought Emment didn't even use it and maybe he didn't. Maybe just the fact that we were somewhat drunk lead him into taking it out in the first place.

Ether way he never came to the table once.

Sometimes when Rosalie came to the table late you could see them arguing just before the lunch room would always end with one of them leaving with anger fresh in the way they walked away.

Bella and I never shared a word except for hi and bye. I would stare at her with no shame and she would do it to but never at the same time.

The psychologist was putting me on edge everyday. There was never a moment when I wanted to hit a women. I knew I would never do it but I found myself clenching and unclenching my hands during each private assessment.

The woman was driving me crazy if that was even possible at his point.

Telling me how my anger was directed towards something different then what I thought it was.

Saying things like,  
"_The fisting of your hands are stopping from saying something that could help" _When I thought it was stopping me from doing something I would definitely regret later on.

"_Facing the problem head on could be the best choice you could do but on the other hand this could be something that needs time" _She kept speaking even though everyday I would say nothing. I would watch the time wishing for it to move faster.

"_I'm going to give you an assignment to do. There isn't going to be a time limit because I'm given the impression that you wouldn't care. You have to tackle whatever's bothering you before you try to fix it. Find what's really wrong before moving forward and if you still can't find it try harder into you do. If you won't talk to me try talking to someone else" _I stiffed my laugh with a cough. I knew what was bothering me. I was bothering me. I was an idiot to even think about taking the herion with Bella right in front of me. Her eyes fixed on my every movement. That was my problem. The fact that I was an idiot.

Everyday she would try to push us together in some sort of activity. We even played a failed cruel game of charades where we would act one thing and say another. Rosalie would walk around all happy and giddy and we all would say Alice. Rosalie would no it was a girl winning a prize even though we all knew that it was Alice.

Bella stood in the same spot doing nothing and we all said Jasper. She said it was a statue.  
It continued to go like that, us making rude remarks about the others even though they were all accurate.

Today and yesterday were no different then the last. Uneventful and boring. I found myself running my hands through my hair when I was around Bella, not in nervousness but irritation. Bella would always do the dumbest shit to piss me off like flirting with Newton giving the poor boy hope that she was interested in him. He was just another pawn in this relentless game.

He would do things I knew pissed her off like touching her shit and moving her hair that was already in a wall to block me out. When she tripped over the threshold he would announce her fall saying that sh was okay whether then just helping her and move along. I would chuckle each time he did something to piss her off. Bella in return would sent me a murderous glare and flirt more. She skillful in the way that she flirted, she sat back and made him do all the work. Laughing on que and touching his arm just so.

I was amused on how easy it was to woo Newton and make him feel special. For here Bella was ignoring the one of the hottest guys in the school to talk to him. It was priceless to see his face fall when Bella would push him as soon as the teacher came in and ignore his attempts at talking to her during class. On account of him trying harder the next day and falling into her trap each time she gave him something new to chase.

Bella was sadistic. I almost felt bad for him, but he should have known Bella would have never gone for him. Not because he didn`t have the looks the girls here died for but because he was all around a typical teenage boy. The guy I knew Bella wouldn`t go for. He was simple in his interests and conversation.

There was nothing for her to figure out or stay interested in.  
She was like me in a way, I couldn`t give attention to a girl that was dull and boring. Where was the fun in that. Even Jessica had a punch in her attitude, not the dumb girl I thought she was.

Today I got irritated to my limit. We were going a lab together and she wouldn`t even let me look over the work, I knew she wasn`t getting anything wrong but fuck pass me the microscope.

"Could I take a look?" I asked kindly.  
"Why do you think I'm doing the work wrong?" She asked with a raise of her eyebrow or more like eyebrow's.

"No I just want to see what your doing this being a lab and I'm your partner and all" I said.

"Never seemed like it before it's almost like you just give up. But if you want to so bad." Bella passed me the microscope. Our hands touched in the one second sending a almost not recognizable vibration through my hand. We both pulled back at the same time so I leaned over the rest of the way to pull the microscope towards me.

I checked over the answers and looked at the cells making sure each one was right, not really putting in any effort to really check each and everyone.

"It's all good" I said.

"What else would it be? This is my best subject, subtract the math that's involved" She told me with an attitude.

I don't even know why the fuck she's so pissed at me She clearly has her own fucking faults to. Who's she to look down on me, when I was clearly in a bad state. What the fuck is wrong with her.

"What's your problem Bella? Why the hell are you so infuriated with me? Is it beacause you seen me at a bad time? What's the problem really?" I asked her, my anger coherent in my voice.

"Why would I be mad because of something that was going on with you before I even came to this school? I can't expect you to just walk away from something so addictive to you" Bella responded with no emotion to give me no hint to what she was really saying.

"Then why are you acting like this. I thought we had something going for us"

"How could we have something going for us when we don't even know each other? I'm not even surprised about the damn drugs" We were glaring at each other at this point.

I was breathing hard and running my hands through my hair. She was tapping her pen on the desk acting like it was unbreakable.

"Just drop it." Bella said.

"No I'm _not_going to drop it" I replied.

"Fine"

"Fine" The Bell rang and I picked up my stuff slowly knowing that she was already heading towards the door.

There's going to be a party at Newtons this weekend. It's supposed to be the praise for the last year of forks high. Meaning there were going to be alot of people dancing, drinking, making out, and maybe even getting a fix.

Who wouldn't want that to start off their year?

Everyone was going to be there, invitation or not. I of course was not invited it being Newtons party after all, but the girls didn't give a shit and bent over front and back to make sure I'd be there.

Jasper told me Bella was going so that was the deal breaker, even if I was heading there this made me sure of it.

"Alice gave me shit for that stunt" Jasper said going through my CD's but making sure to put them back in order.

"Yea well at least she's still talking to you" I told him.

"Yea I think she's really pissed even Alice doesn't know what's up with her"Jasper responded.

"I don't even know why the fuck Bella's even mad its not like I snorted the fucking stuff right for her to see." I played a note on the piano, running my hands over something that has been going through my head for a while.

"Maybe it's her" He tried to reason with me.

"But she didn't do anything" I said.

"Well she's a girl isn't there something always bothering them?" Jasper asked.

"That's probably it, there is something always bothering them" I played with a few more keys not even sure if there was even a sound to it at all.

It was almost 10:30 and we were Just outside the house. The music was shouting through the walls and bodies were rubbing up against the windows. People were drinking outside and heading towards the backyard.

I pulled at the white cuffs on my shirt, fixed my belt, chain, and ran my hands through my hair knowing it wouldn't help. As soon as we came through the door bodies were being thrown at me from every direction. They smelt like bear and sweat mixed with perfumes and axe.

A typical party.

I seen Tanya dancing with some guy and ducked around the corner into the kitchen. I dipped my hand into the cooler to get a beer not even bothering to pour myself one of the better drinks. Jasper was lost behind me most likely looking for Alice no drought.

The guy was hooked and not planning on being detached any time soon. I seen Bella among the people in the backyard. She was flirting, looking hot and trouble. Both her and Rosalie looked like they were going for the kill. Bella was talking to Newton while Rosalie talked to Tyler.

What the guys didn't know was that both the girls were rolling their eyes and leaning towards the other when Newton or Tyler would try to touch them. They laughed like they cared and batted their eye lashes when que called.

They were giving them just what they wanted. Rosalie and Bella looked hot, I doubt that Alice looked any different. It made me want to run over to them and hide Bella behind my arm.

I was right when I thought Alice couldn't look any less than them. When Jasper appeared at my side and looked forward I followed his gaze back to the girls. Alice looked on the sake of Jasper not hearing this, hot too.

It was like they got together and found the exact outfits they new would put any horney teenage, or man to their knees.

We stared in appreciation and awe. Bowing down to the person who ever thought to put heels on a shoe, and then the shoe on a female.

I wouldn't have thought that Bella would were heels that high. She always seemed like the person to were things that were only comfortable. The only thing that I knew she had input on was the top she was wearing. It was still a sweater and hood, sort of like the one she wore to the party but completely different.

I could see Tanya moving towards me from the glass doors leading outside. There was no where I could move that wouldn't put both me and Tanya in Bella's line of vision. That was the worst thing that could happen but she is talking to Newton being way more friendly than any friend.

It was to late to move when she tapped my shoulders. I didn't move or turn around to make any room for her beside both me and Jasper.

"Tanya" I said still facing forward.

"Edward, Jasper" She said walking around me to lean on the glass door that was closed. Bella and the girls where no longer in my view. I mentally kicked myself for not stepping to the side.

"Tanya what a horrible non-surprise to see you" Jasper said.

"Back at you stud" Tanya said with the sweetest of smiles.

"Why can't we all have a good time with out you Tanya?" I replied with my crooked smile halfheartedly.

"But it's so much more interesting with me around Edward" Tanya laughed.

"It's so much more interesting because you chase Edward and give me a show at the dullest of moments dear Tanya" Jasper said. They always hated each other, it was something to do with Tanya's old best friend Maria. When Jasper declined Maria Tanya took a special hatred to him and when Maria moved away Tanya got even more mad at him.

"Don't get mad because you aren't as fun Jasper. It would only be a waste to chase you. But who says I'm chasing anyone can't I just talk to my friends?" She said incredulously.

"We aren't you friends Tanya, or your lover, or your acquaintance, or your anything."I told her sighing.

"But she is" Tanya said smiling.

Rosalie came from just around Tanya stepping from the glass door. I'm not even sure on how Tanya could have seen her coming from behind.

"Rosalie darling" Tanya said.

"Tanya honey, how have you been" Rosalie said. They pretended to kiss both cheeks.  
"Oh I'm the same old bitch. Where have you been? I haven't been to La Push lately but Leah broke up with Sam, she wanted you to help kick his ass you know how those boys annoy her." Tanya mentioned.

"Really Leah and Sam broke up who would have thought, weren't they like deadly in love?" Rosalie laughed, like love was something impossible.

"Yea well it turns out Emily and Sam were hidding this love affair, and now they're getting married how sweet" Tanya kissed the air.

"Oh my I wish I found out earlier Leah knows I hate Sam I would have loved to help" Rosalie frowned.

"Yeah she knows that to. She's going to be the bride maid. Leah can't help but be supportive you know how her family is. They all have to be tight and stick together" Tanya waved her hands in the air.

"Maybe we should go -" I started.

"Hold on Eddie I'm talking" Rosalie raised her hands to shush me.

"Damn I've been out for a while you'll have to tell me all about that later." Rosalie said.

"I will and Jacob's been talking about some girl named Bella, She's supposed to be all hot and sexy"

"Oh yea she's my new bitch. You know I can't be seen with ugly people. Isn't Jacob tied down to Jessica, aren't they trying to stay together after grad?" she asked.

"Yea well you know that would have to go through Jake's dad, him wanting to keep Jake close and all." Tanya replied.

"I don't think he'll be putting his hands on Bella any time soon. I'm sure if she wanted him she would have had him by now. She reminds me of myself sometimes I'm so proud of her" Rosalie said.

"So she's wanted like us then?" Tanya asked looking at me.

"Well not like me but she's got game" Rosalie responded.

Then just like there was no where else for her to be at this moment Bella came walking through and placed herself in our tight circle.

"Speak of the devil, this is Bella" Rosalie said pulling Bella to her side.

"Bella I've heard so much about you" Tanya said.

"And I've heard nothing about you" Bella replied with sugar in her voice.

"I like her Rosalie where did you find her?" Tanya asked.

"On Edwards arm" Rosalie said.

Both Tanya and Bella looked at Rosalie than at me. I had two pairs of eyes burning a hole in my head.

"She's was not attached to my arm Rosalie" I said.

"He's right we just friends" Bella said.

"Friends really? I never knew Edward kept friends besides Jasper. So you're the girl being fused about. Edward's stopped playing my game could that be because of you?" She asked.

"Oh really Edward didn't seem to mind not having me around I thought he went back to his old self" Bella said.

"That's not ture. Could you guys act like I'm here?" What the fuck! Since when did I mind not having her around where the fuck did that come from?

"So you guys have history? So this is the reason Edwards been talking all this shit about love" Tanya said.

Tanya raised her eyebrows clearly amused by the scene going down before her. Bella opened her mouth only to snap it shut again. I shook my head and rubbed at my forehead.

"Listen I don't know who you are and I really couldn't give a fuck, to tell the truth. But if you keep addressing me like I'm the worst thing possible your going to see the worst thing possible. Damn I'm just trying to have fun and maybe get a little taste, so must we been so fucking barbaric?" Bella asked.

"Bitch you don't fucking know who your messing with, you've been here how long and your talking like you know two shits about anything. If Rosalie didn't take a liking to you I bet we could go at it, you may have attitude but you don't have the shit to match it. I bet Rose could take you so quit" Tanya laughed at Bella's threat.

Honestly I don't know who could win, Tanya had her fights but Bella looked like she could keep going. Although even if something were to break out I'd stop it before her hand could even touch Bella.

I tried to say something but Jasper shot be that look that said 'Don't you fucking dare'.

"I'm sorry Tanya you know I love you but your going to have to leave me out on this one. Izzy here is fun and I`ve been bored with you at that privite school. Well I can`t so bored..... who am I kidding?" Rosalie said before taking Jasper's drink and walking off laughing.

Bella laughed and sighed.

"Is this a girl fight? I thought I was over those, and about a boy none the less?!" Bella broke up laughing and shaking, holding her sides.

I couldn't help but stifle a laugh to, even Jasper coughed up a few.

"I'm going to go find Alice" He said and walked away laughing harder.

I grabbed Bella's hand and she looked at me not moving an inch.

"Please?" I asked her. Bella never gave me a answer just allowed me to pull her behind me as I walked.

We ran into Emmet just in front of the front doors.

"Hey have you seen Rose anywhere?" He asked us.

Bella reached up on her toes to point out a retreating Rosalie.

"Thanks man" He said "Oh and about that...."

"Don't worry about it" I told him pulling Bella back to the doors, wanting to get away from all the people.

She allowed me to pull her all the way to my car and with a questioning glance got in the car. I drove in to I the forest line. I got the out the car and tried to open her door but she was already out.

Fuck it, if she wants to act like that she can. What the hell could I do about it?  
"Are we walking?" she asked.

"Yes" I said. I started to walk but she stopped me.

"In heels Edward honestly" She gabbed.

"Just take them off" I said. She looked at me not about to take my order and I knew it.

"Fine" I said. I walked over to her, sizing her up before throwing her over my shoulder.

"This is childish" She hit my back, but not protesting to get of.

"Your acting like a child" I replied and started walking.

After a few minuites she said.

"To think your ass would be a good view. It isn't upside down"

"Your is fine from here" I said.

"It would be" She responded.

We walked more in silence. I could see the opening coming up, it wouldn't take long into we got there. Bella was really starting to feel heavy on my back.

When I put her down she took off her heels.

"What was the point in that then?"

"Who turns down a free ride?" She asked not really expecting a answer.

"If I wasn't so put out right now I'd tell you how beautiful this meadow is" She said taking a seat just before the flower bed.

I took a seat beside her remembering all the times I came here.

"Cut to the chase Cullen what do you want?" She asked me.

"I want to know why I'm about to to ask you what's going on"

"Ask me what's going on are you serious? Edward you have to be kidding me!" She screamed.

"No I'm not I have no idea why your pissed or even angry. Heck you tell me this huge life changing story and not even show that you know me the next day! What was I to think?" I yelled back.

"You weren't supposed to fucking think anything. You were supposed to say something any fucking thing to show you cared. To show that you could care enough to show me that you cared" Bella said getting up.

"What, that I cared? Did I not run through the school to tell you that I fucking felt something. Did I not _care _enough to do that? What the hell is this really about because what your saying doesn't make any sense." This doesn't make any sense to me.

"It's nothing" She said.

"It has to be something or we wouldn't be arguing in the first place" I said.

"It's nothing" Bella told me again.

"It's not nothing!"

"Fine! You want to know what's wrong? I told you a very important part of my life and not just mine's but Alice's and you couldn't even say one fucking word to me. You just sat there in your misery" She glared.

"What was I to do? I sat there looking at the thing that almost ruined my life and you expect me to cry a fucking river? Then you tell me your story about something that ruined your life and you want me to say something. Like what? The killer was addicted to heroin, you know how that made me feel?" I asked.

"Yes! That's exactly what I want to know give me something, anything. I gave you what I wouldn't give my own mother, I gave you what I wouldn't even allow myself to remember. I went home and told Alice that I told you. And she didn't even yell at me she held me and told me it was okay, that I needed to speak to someone, if it wouldn't be her! I didn't even fucking cry, I can't feel emotions when I should did you know that? I can't even cry over the man that saved my sister's life. Explain that!" She barked.

"You want me to give you a part of myself is that it?" I asked

"Yes" she said.

"It made me feel like dieing like I couldn't do anything right. It felt like I was being compared to a monster holding the contract to sign my life away, herion. I mean god Bella I was dieing inside. This very meadow is where I used to go when I thought the world was turning on me, that very spot you picked to sit is where I used to contemplate life and death. Did you know the very thought of a asylum killes me? It makes me want to run away and never come back. It makes me think about killing myself just so I wouldn't have to touch another fucking day, to break Esme's heart and take away Carlisle's hope.  
Do you know how it feels to wake up and not want to get out of bed? Then have this beautiful girl come in my life and make me even think about love? Do you know how it feels to finally find your reason and have it taken away because I didn't know what to say? Do you know how it feels to have to go back and question every thought you've ever made. I couldn't even cry for Esme's lost baby" I asked my eyes on her.

She looked at me with pain in her eyes, if she could cry I think she would.

"You ask me all these questions and I don't have the answer for any of them. But I do know how it feels to never want to get out of bed, to just sit in the quiet and dark and listen to nothing but my own breathing. I know how it feels to think about death and if my life is even worth living. I know how it feels to have the world turns it's back, to wish I never see the walls of an asylum again. And I know how it feels to question every thought and every feeling, to question my own heart on the feelings I have for you. But I can't be this hope for you when your mine.

"And I can't help you cry because I can't myself. I just want you to tell me things. Even if it's how you feel about the sun and the moon or the stars and...... basketball. Shit I want it all and I know that's to much to ask but doesn't it feel better to let someone know your here and alive and still trying?" She asked holding her hands to her chest.

"But what if you don't want to try anymore?" I said my head on the floor but eyes still on her.

"Then I'll try for you, even if just as friends. I'm not sure how to be your hope or your girl but I want to be something even if it's just trying for you" She whispered.

"Could I try for you to?"

"Can we start again?" Bella said.

"There's no going back, and there's no starting over because we alreadly know to much. There's only moving forward" I said.

She laughed and smiled.

"Who told you such words?"

"You did in the graveyard"

"I did? I'm not sure I believe in that anymore" She sighed.

"I could believe in it for you?" I said.

"And I could try out this life for you," She smiled "and when we think we got it all down we could sit and share notes."

I picked up her shoes and waved her over to start walking.

"Hey Edward aren't you supposed to be some bad ass?"

"Aren't you supposed to be a bad bitch?" I asked

"I won't tell if you don't" She said "We could be the guardian to each other's secreats"

"Depends on how many you want to know" I said.

"All of them" she answered before taking off on a sprint. To where I didn't know.


	18. Nowhere Else To Go

**Has it been only me that has been having problems logging in? I had this chapter done yesterday and through out the whole day I couldn't get into Fanfiction. So I'm still sorry about the wait again I'm working on two things at once but I'll tell you about that when your done.**

**Bella Swan**

"_Edward, Alice, Emmett, Isabella, Rosalie, and Jasper report to the counseling room this instant" _A very sharp and angry sounding Mrs. J said over the speaker system.

I took my bag off my chair happy enough to get away from math. I didn't care that she sounds pissed off only that this gave me the opportunity to get away from a very boring yet hard math lesson.

When I got out class I saw Rosalie coming out off her second period English class. I slowed down a bit so she could catch up.

"What do you think it's about?" She asked me throwing her over sized purse over her shoulder in her famous Rosalie fashion.

"I don't know maybe she didn't mean to sound as pissed off as she did" I replied.

"Well this better be good because I'm getting tired of this save our teens crap" She huffed fluffing her hair and taking out some lip gloss.

"So what's up with you and Eddie boy. He's been flying solo to my house with Jasper lately. I imagined that he would want to keep you close. Especially at my house because you and I both know I wouldn't mind if he asked to stay the night." Rosalie asked grinning proudly in her take it or leave it smile.

Over the past few days I've been hanging around Rosalie a lot. Maybe it's because I'm new or she's just more bearable than Jessica and Lauren. It's not like I couldn't find people to hang out with in this small ass school like the ones who already throw them selves at my feet. I would have to say that I enjoy her company. Although I'd never tell her that so she could add it to her ego. The thing is that I know she does also because if she didn't want to hang out with me she wouldn't have to contract or no contract.

No one likes unwanted company.

"We are just friend's Edward is welcome to fuck who ever he wants to. That's not my sole issue or my problem to keep tabs on him. If I decide to give him some that wouldn't be your business ether Ms. Rosalie. Anyways you and I both know you wouldn't want to fuck Edward" I told her.

She raised her eyebrows.

"OK, but not before thinking about Emmett for a quick second. You can walk around ignoring him all you want but if you really wanted him gone you would have told him so a long time ago" I said raising my eyebrows right back at her.

"Wanting him for his body is nothing like wanting him for him. Izzy you haven't been here for long time your still just a pup right now. If I did want him gone I would have did him already" She replied.

"So your saying the wants you want to keep don't you fuck?"

"Oh go fuck your self Izzy stop putting words into my mouth that's my job" Rosalie kept walking down the hallway. Since I still didn't really know the way there I had no choice but to pick up the pace with her.

Just then Emmett called Rosalie from behind us I knew it was him because of his nice but deep voice. I guess I should be mad at him for what he did at the party but who was I to judge? I mean really.

Rosalie slowly slowed her pace and turned around daring me to say anything with her eyes.

"What do you want?"

"Come on don't act like you don't want me around" He said.

"Wrong answer" And then she turned around and continued walking down the hall if not faster than before.

"What the hell is her problem It was one frigging bag. I don't even use the stuff myself" he asked me.

"I'm the wrong person to ask and not to be rude or anything. Although you can take this any way you want. You do kind of look like the person to dabble in that stuff I mean your size and attitude doesn't quite make up for anything you say. Emmet I don't even know you but you look like one hell of a guy, if I was some little girl I'd probably run away from you and hide" I offered.

"Your Isabella right? That girl who cussed off Jessica last week" He asked.

"Yea I'm that girl what are you her body guard? Cause I'm not that little girl and I'm not going to go running away" I said walking back in the direction that Rosalie walked in. "Umm your going to have to lead the way here. I have no idea where the halls in this small school lead to"

"It's not that bad you know this school, and I'm not as fucked up as I look" He joked.

"Well I can tell that now since you didn't bite my head off Emmet your kind of nice, but not so good with the ladies" I said.

"Yea well you should try to talking her. It's like talking to some beautiful blow up doll that won't talk back but whatever. I never chased a girl and I sure as hell I'm not going to start now"

"Emmett you sort of already did. I'm going to say it like this because I'm honest and have had just a tad bit more of this relationship B.S than I can handle. Now stop taking about her like some piece of ass to keep your man card or what not, we can already see your more man then most. Just suck it up and tell her that you like her and want to take her home or shut the fuck up" I offered once again.

"I like you" He said back and laughed.

We finally got to are destination which assured me that no one else would be asking me about relations because honestly who the hell told them to come and ask me. Like I'm cupid or some shit.

"Sit down now" Jewel said from the middle of the room. Chairs were pulled out to form a semi-circle like that day she asked us something about power.

I took my seat as usual between Alice and Rosalie.

"Now I don't even know where to start. There has been large amounts of strongly discouraged events happening between this small group of students and I have to say I'm sick of it. I tried to give you the freedom of choice and your making wrong ones. I know it seems like you have been doing nothing wrong but that is the problem. You teens seem to think that is it OK as long as you don't get caught or as long as no one gets hurt. You seem to think that just because your not feeling bad your not hurting others. I have gotten complaints of students from this room not showing up to class Rosalie and students not showing up to school Emmett. Now I'm tired of watching you two make mistakes after mistakes"

I thought Rosalie would have rolled her eyes or something but she did nothing. Just taking like everyone else in the room. Jasper looked tried, Edward to. Alice wasn't smiling for a change and I could only guess what I looked like.

"Parents have called me saying that they think their children are stressful and spaced off. They have called me asking me If _I am doing my job as your psychologist _and I'm pissed. You have not given any thought to what I ask off you. The small tasks I ask you to complete have been going undone. Now I don't want it to seem like I'm blaming all of you for things you have and have not done but this room is going to change. You are not allowed anymore to just have it your way. Remember this because I'm through with it" She walked back and forth waving her hands from side to side.

"Bella you will stop being so rude to everyone because not everyone deserves it. Alice you will apply your self to the open world outside of Jasper and Bella because you a big ball of joy. Jasper you need to learn to say no and Edward find a hoddie.

" Until I see progress you guys are going to hate me. Your going to hate me so much you'll beg to leave and I'm fine with that. You are not going to waste your parents money and concern, more or less stop acting like little selfish children. If you don't want to be here just get out but I promise you, you will be seeing me later. I care about you guys which is why I'm so angry. Do not fuck with me people, Emmett in my office now" Jewel said walking briskly to the back of the room. The door closed with a loud bang after her.

"Well shit what did I do this time" Emmett said getting up from his chair and walking over to her office leaving a more quiet bang from Jewels'.

"Wow" Jasper muttered from his seat. "I would have never thought she had it in her"

"Me ether" Said Rosalie. "I'm a bitch but that was just bitchy"

"Yea" Alice added.

"I kind of feel like I just got put on time out for pushing the building blocks over or something" I said.

A melody of "Um hmm's" and "Aha's" filed the room.

"So what do we do now go back to class. I'm lost" Edward said.

I heard stifled laughing from my right side.

"Rosalie what the hell is there to be laughing at?" Jasper asked.

"I can't help but think that this has to be the most funniest thing I have ever witnessed. Never has someone made me feel bad about something I'm not sure I have even done yet. I feel like I just got spanked for something I'm going to do in the future which is ridiculous." And than she laughed some more.

So I began to laugh when you think of it I do feel bad for something I'm not even sure I've done. So I laughed and laughed some more.

Then Jasper joined in, Alice than Edward.

This has to be the most craziest feeling ever.

I feel refreshed.

"I think that was good for us. I haven't been yelled at since Paige our mother like maid told us to wash the dishes and fold our clothes. I feel...... good and happy. Yet sad all at the same time. What's funny is that I know she was serious and I heard every word but. That's new... to me I guess" Alice said giggling.

"Like driving really fast, crashing and then in the hospital laughing at it" Edward said.

"Or just plain old getting in trouble by the last person I expect it from" Jasper added.

"Yea that has to be it" Rosalie said. "Ether that or I'm drunk and didn't know about it and or it's all a dream. My mom doesn't even yell at me like that. Hilarious"

"You really think we're going to hate being here for the next few days until she thinks it's better?" Alice asked.

"Yea" I answered.

"Do you think she knows about......" Jasper trailed on.

"The drunk little shindig that ended like a bad frat party?" Rosalie ended.

"Naw.." we all said.

I got up from my seat to take a bagel from the table with snacks. I didn't get the chance to eat breakfast because Jacob came over in the morning asking if I wanted to come with him to the beach. Of course I said no and told him to never come on my property again but how many times could you say it until it actually sticks?

Edward came up to me and leaned with his back to the table looking at me.

"So if I never got it the last time we spoke we are...." He trailed along.

"Friend's" I finished.

"Friends..." He tried the word in his mouth. Tasting it to see if it sounded right. "I can do that since we really weren't actually friends before we just sort of jumped to far along"

"And messed things up before we knew each other" I replied.

"And we don't really know each other because we just jumped on the attraction" Edward smiled.

"So we never even got to know each others favorite colours" I said. "Which are red, gray, sometimes yellow and now green"

"Light blue" He said.

"Why?" I questioned.

"It looks nice on you, I mean that sweater you wore to the party. It looked nice" he answered.

Oh.

"I like green now because of your eyes" I said.

"My eye's?"

"Yea they are a new deep kind of green I guess. Warm" I put some cream cheese on my bagel from one of those little cups you usually see in coffee shops.

"Well Bella what do you think of Jewels fiasco?"

"I think we are in for hell. I don't think she's knows about what happen but what are the chances that she yells at us then calls Emmett in right after. It's not like she's being nice to him clearly she pissed"

"Yea..." he picked up and apple and bit into it. Some of the juice trickled down his mouth and he used his tongue to clean it up. My god this was going to be harder then I thought. I swallowed.

"I got to go do something over there in the yea..." I said and almost ran over to Alice.

"You won't last a week" She said.

"Oh, shut up" I rolled my eyes like a child. I could last a week.

"Want to bet on it" Alice asked.

"Not with you" I told her.

The bell went off and I took toward the door.

"You all will be back here sooner than you think" Jewel said coming out of her office with a very put out looking Emmett behind her. He quickly shook it off and put back on his game face. The one I know all to well.

"Thank you Emmet" she said and closed her door again.

I continued making my way to the hall way trying to get to the lunch room. I hate the food but i'm hungry, I never skip breakfast. I at least drink some orange juice, something.

"So I was thinking. That you and Edward are not going to last the day because we all saw your horney face." Rosalie said.

"I am capable of going the whole week with out temptation. Unlike you Rosalie I', sure I can last the frigging week" I said.

"All that attitude is telling me that your sexually fustrated" She said patting my arm.

"I am not _fustrated _I can handle this. Edward is not that hot... yea he is but I never had the problem of saying no before" I told her.

"Not to a face like that. I mean I'm hating Emmett right now but if I had a few minutes with him I'd do all sorts of shit" She smiled at me and licked her lips.

"That man has muscle and meat and height and arms, and muscle and meat.... Oh boy" She laughed.

"Well I'm hungry so if you could place your mind in the cafeteria where this is meat I'd be happier" I said.

When we got there I started putting stuff on my tray avoiding the food that looked like death.

"Your not going to eat?" I asked.

"That death food you must be crazy I'm going to go move those idiots from our table at the window, come when your done" she said and swayed her hips away.

I got stopped near the end of the line.

"Bella where have you been?" Mike Newton asked me grabbing my arm.

"Hiding from you and Mike you need to move your hand right now cause if I drop this food I will drop you" I waited for him to move his hand.

"Ouch Bella really that hurt. Make it up to me by sitting at my table" He said. I glanced over to where he was pointing. Not good enough.

"No" he touched my arm. I was really getting tired that he was touching me I have had already told him no. What else is there to be said.

"You know what Newton come sit at my table with us. You know Alice, Rosalie and the guys. You get the best of both worlds and I'm sure the hottest girls, come on over" I said. He wants to keep touching me he can go through Rosalie cause I'm done. I tried to be nice, I did.

"Um yea sure" He said grinning.

He's clueless pour thing.

I sat down beside Alice purposely leaving the seat beside Rosalie open. Jasper would have to sit on the other side of the table when he came.

Rosalie and Alice shot me death stares I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

"Hello ladies" Mike said. He was in such a rush to get here he only had three things on his tray which I was sure was not enough for a teen boy.

"Mike" Alice said turning her tray away so she wouldn't be included into the conversation. Rosalie how ever turned her self in.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Bella invited me" He said.

"I'm sure it never really happened like that. Could you move over a bit on her side your to close" She waved her hands to me.

He moved I moved over, chairs sqeeked.

"I like the colour of your hair it's like a dirty rust" Rosalie poked at his head. He took it as a compliment.

"Yea I -"

"Hold on I wasn't finished" Rosalie stopped him.

"Oh"

"I know you thought sitting here was going to be like some kind of break through for you but it's not. If I wouldn't sit with you and Bella here doesn't or Alice. Why are you here? I know she asked you but I'm sure she didn't but please don't leave. I'm bored and the guys are walking over looking confused" She laughed.

"Newton" Edward said.

"Mike" Jasper said.

"You owe me five" Emmett said taking a seat across from Rose. This has been one of the few times he ever sits here.

"Hey" Newton replied shifting in his seat.

Edward looked at him then looked at me. I mouthed _"Not mine" _and left it at that.

"I have it-" he got cut off.

"Not here" Emmett said.

"I have to go there's something more interesting going on from here" Rosalie said and got up.

Emmett didn't waste his time and got up to follow her.

"Newton you can go now" Jasper said.

"But?"

"Move over then so I can sit by Alice" He said.

"No I'll move" I said and got up and changed seats with Jasper.

Edward put his hand on my chair. I knew what he was doing and I would have to talk about it later.

I finished my food with an awkward silence. I felt bad for bringing him here. No one deserved this.

"Newton aren't you supposed to be at that beach thing at La Push?" I asked.

"Yea but I had to come here to give somebody something" He said scratching his head.

The bell rang and I jumped up ready to leave.

Edward followed me giving Mike that stare that guys do.

I went outside and headed toward Biology.

"Don't do that" I told Edward.

"What?"

"The arm behind the chair don't do it. We are friends now let's keep it that way"

"I saw the way you looked at me" He said and smiled crookedly.

"Yea well it happens" I said.

He pushed me softly to the wall right behind the Biology building.

"Don't" I told him.

"Friends help friends out I know your fustrated" He said.

"I am not fustrated! Shit one wrong move and everyone's on my ass!"

"This won't last" he said.

"What won't last?" I asked.

"Us being friends"

"Well that's the only thing I think we can both handle right now so take it or leave it, and I know you'll take it"

He kissed me. I pushed him back so he kissed me again.

"Stop" I breathed and pushed him.

"No" he kissed me and I let him because fuck I wanted to.

His lips were soft and shit what am I doing. He sucked my bottom lip in. Shit I like when people do that.

I turned around and pushed him back to the wall and smacked my lips to his. I pulled his hair but not to hard. He said shit under his breath. Then I laughed.

"And you said I couldn't handle it when your the easy one" I said and started walking back to class.

"This won't last" He said.

"You'll break first" I said.

"And why is that" Edward asked not even bothering to fix him self.

"Because you won't go anywhere else" I said.

"Newton" He said shocked.

So I laughed.

**I know it might feel like I'm teasing you but they can't just be all "I love you, lets go knock boots"**

**I've been thinking that I should add in little points of views of the other characters. It won't be all the time but if I did who would you want to hear from?**

**I've made a new story called **Blue Roses and Sinful Treats **It's a Alice and Jasper story because I love them so3. Go check it out and tell me what you think because you guys matter so much. Should I stop? Should I keep going go on tell me!!!!!**


	19. Heartbreak For A Remake

**(Important) All I ask for this chapter is some review's I had to get down and dirty in this chapter and I was told I might piss off you guys for a second and then make alot of people happy..or sad. Review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love you guys to death.3**

**I'll take the first shots I know you see the first lines.......**

* * *

I slept with Newton.

I slept with Newton.

Well I didn't actually sleep with Newton. I've been up for about thirty minuets just trying to erase last night and take back everything I did in anger but let's be real I'm more honest when I'm angry.

I sat on the floor wrapped up in a blue thin sheet. My ass was getting cold. My hair was doing something funny and leaning to the left side of my face only. It blocked out Newtons head from my line of vision so I didn't bother on fixing it.

The fact that I'm still here is an absolute mystery to me. I could have left when I came back into my right state of mind. I was only partially drunk when this happened I knew good and well what I was doing but still it was in anger. I wouldn't have chosen Newton in a regular mood. I mean it's Newton.

I would never call him Mike again it now made me feel dirty and way to familiar with him.

I slowly got up and pulled the sheet up with me. Taking my time to gather my belongings from varies places from the floor. I kept my eyes on Newton making sure that he didn't wake up and make this more evil that it already was. I dropped the sheet and turned away from him. I was now completely naked as the day I was born in front of him. I heard a sound in the hallway. It turned from a sound into foot steps coming up the stairs and getting louder and louder as it came near.

Should I hide or continue. Some people's parents just expected their kids to have company over and avoided their rooms and night. Although this wasn't just any teenagers house, this was _Newtons _and I doubted that he was one on those have a good time guys.

I pulled the sheet back up and ran for his washroom. I put on my underwear, bra, and then my shirt, jeans, and....... my shoes where the fuck were they. I skimmed my mind thinking about what happened yesterday.

--- ---------------------

_I searched the kitchen looking for something strong enough to help me get through this. I found vodka in the huge wine cellar no one was supposed to be in. I had told Rosalie that there was no way I was going to take drinks from open bottles no matter who's house I was in. I opened the cap and drink right from the bottle wrenching in the burn it brought to my throat and smiled. I paced the room thinking if I was actually going to do this._

_I had to make sure I was not just taking to much of this. I had to make sure that this wasn't just fake feelings leading me on to destruction. I had to make sure they wouldn't just go away in time. I wouldn't want to be the one stuck to deep and have the other fall away. Though wouldn't it be better to just never know?_

_I closed the door on my way out not really with a firm decision yet. _

"_Bella have you seen Edward I don't believe he would do..." _

_Who ever it was shut up when I gave them the finger and changed the direction I was heading in before. Now I was sure. There would be no stopping me now I had to know. I walked up to a very confused looking Edward Cullen and gave him a deep kiss puring my heart into to his. Taking in the pain it brought me. The feeling in my gut got bigger and bigger and just kept going it never stopped. I had to believe that this was just something made of nothing. I could make it happen again with some one else._

_Just when he was about to kiss back I pulled away and walked back to where I was heading before. I saw Newton by his stupid friend Tyler. Well maybe I was just being mean for the moment Tyler hasn't really done anything to be called stupid. I Kissed Newton and sure enough it didn't hold the feeling Edward's brought me but I wasn't looking for emotion I was looking for a quick fix. From behind him I actually saw Rosalie give me a sympathetic smile from her couch. I closed my eyes and kissed deeper trying to clone the feeling in my gut to show. When I opened them back I saw Jasper stare at me from where Rosalie was not to long ago. I held my eyes tighter. _

_I pulled a very happy looking Newton outside. I could try harder._

"_Where's your car?" I asked._

"_Over there" He said._

_I pulled him over and told him to drive fast. Like really fucking fast. Of course his shit box of a truck couldn't get down the drive way fast enough. I saw Edward ringing his hands through his hair by the front door as we turned the corner._

_The heels I had on came to mind and I threw them off into the back of Newtons car._

_-------- -----------------_

I would have to get them back there was no fucking way I would be walking home bare foot in forks. I opened the door back slowly and searched his room for the keys. Fuck. I remembered that he threw it into a bowl downstairs by the door.

I slowly opened the door and looked out into the hall. There was a light on in the room down the hall across from his. It might be his parents but I wouldn't be planing on staying long enough to find out.

I said screw the stairs and climbed up on the rail. I sat my ass down and slid to the floor taking my time to jump down. From the way I heard those steps before I knew those dumb as stairs creaked like hell.

I ran my hand on the walls as I walked it was dark like shit I couldn't see anything. I finally found the door the only light shining from the window beside the door. I found his keys and held my breath as I opened the door. I locked it after me I wouldn't want to be the fault of a crime in a low crime area. I laughed to myself. There were about ten different keys on the chain.

I found the car keys easily it saying ford on the key but the fucking truck wouldn't open. Now I was getting pretty pissed. I usually don't swear this much to myself but fuck. I kicked the door under the handle and voila! It opened releasing the smell of dry leather I wondered for a split second how I didn't notice before then remembered the good bottle of vodka I slowly sipped. Kind to think of it I wondered where it was now.

I hopped in and squeezed my ass into the back. I stepped on something and sweared. I saw my heels at the very back of the truck. I grabbed them and thought for a second on driving his truck home. I knew I wouldn't do it just because It wasn't his fault he was available to me at the wrong time.

I put the heels on and pulled my cell phone from my pocket. I dialed a number that surprised me.

"Who the fuck is calling me at this time?" I heard Rosalie say into the phone.

"I need a ride" I said.

"You bitch..... You dumb bitch where are you. I was sleeping" She said.

"At Newtons house," I waited for her to yell but she said nothing "Just pick me up at the creek" I said.

It was only a walk away from his house now knowing where I threw the vodka bottle. I added killing fish to my list of stupid shit.

"You know If you where anyone else I would have hung up. To bad I know why you're there or I would have told you to fuck yourself. Be there in five minuets" She said.

"How could you get here in that time" I sighed.

"Have you seen my new red Jag?" Rosalie laughed and hung up.

In no time she was here. I walked over and got in.

"Always have a get away plan" She told me.

"What?"

"When your about to do something stupid for whatever reason always have a getaway plan if you're not planing on staying. Mines Jasper. Got up in to many places trying to get home" She laughed but there was no smile. This was why I called Rose if I had called Alice I would have gotten tisked.

"Was it worth it?" she asked.

Was it.....

"I don't know" I replied. "I'm impulsive when I'm pissed"

"You handle it better than me. I would have chopped his head off or do all of his friends," She laughed. "But in your case that would leave Jasper and maybe Emmett"

We pulled up to her house and walked up her grand stairs to her room. She threw me a shirt and got into her bed.

I put it on and got int too.

"Bitch I have a couch right in the corner" Rose pointed to where her TV was.

"Then go use it" I fell asleep. So this was my Grand Escape.

---------- -------------------

"Put those clothes on there's no way in hell anyones going to think I do girls, and do something with your hair, shit your wost then me on doing bad things" Rose threw new jeans and a tight shirt at me. How did I know they were new was because of the tags hanging from them. The jeans were a little to big because much to my despair she had way more curves than my body had on my butt.

We walked downstairs and her parents were surprised to see me as she said. The only one who didn't looked shocked was Helga.

"Staying to eat Rosalie" Her mother asked if not even more beautiful than Rose. I wondered how Rose would look when she got to her mother's age since she looked just like her now.

"No mother I have better things to do then eat Helga's lovely food that she prepares for us everyday" Rose said and kissed Helga on the cheek.

Her mother didn't even so much as flinch.

"Who's your friend" Her farther questioned.

"The daughter of the Chief Police and no you can't use her and her father to better you political stance" Rose kissed her father, threw me a bagel, kissed her mom and dragged me the hell out of there.

"How did you know my dad" I asked.

"Everyone knew about the new kids coming" She said simply. It was no surprise my dad liked to look like the happy family.

It was Sunday and Rose was dropping me home. Never going into what happened. Even if she did I didn't want to replay it.

I got out, said bye bitch and went inside.

"Bella!" Alice screamed into my ear.

"Just leave it alone Alice" I said walking into the kitchen. "I'm obviously not dead"

"I can see that. Are those Prada jeans your wearing" She pointed. She never asked just expect her to know.

"Yea...... where's Paige" I asked.

"Home" Alice told me. "Where did you go, No one wanted to tell me not even Jasper"

"Leave it, it's not something I want to share" I sighed.

"You know the longer we've been here the more we don't talk" She said.

"We'll chill right now go grab a movie or something" I said, she smiled and hugged me.

"I'm going to take a bath"I told her retreating to my room. Later on when I just got out the tub I heard the door bell ring. Me and Alice just finished watching some movies not to long ago. The door bell went off again. I thought it was Jasper to keep her fuel going into she knocked out.

I could hear Jasper as I pulled on my clothes. Alice came up stairs telling me that Edward and Jasper came over.

"Tell them I'm sleeping" I told her.

"No" she said.

???

"What?"

"No I'm not helping you do what you've always done. Go out there and tell him you're sleeping your self" Alice stormed off. I knew she was right but can't she just be my sister and lie right now.

------------- -----------

_I felt someone's hand tap me on my shoulder's. I just got to Rosalie's party celebrating the last day into her parents came home from some trip._

_I turned around and saw Jasper._

"_So you and Edward are just friends" Jasper said._

"_Yea"_

"_So do you get to do who ever you want?" he asked._

"_Is that what he told you? I wouldn't really do Newton unless I really had to" I laughed._

"_You should take back what you said" Jasper scratched his head._

"_What... Why? Were just-" Jasper stopped me pointed to that girl Tanya and walked away._

_Well what the fuck. He could keep his shit in his pants for a night. Can't he? He better. Though this bitch had really gotten on my nerves before._

"_Hello Tanya" I said. She turned around to look at me._

"_Hello Edward's new Ex" She said. "Come to bite my head off?" _

"_We were never dating, so what's up? The pink in your hair is starting to strain" I pointed to her hair._

"_Edward coming to his right mind is up. I can see he wasn't to people who talk a lot"_

"_Aw Tanya, you should really keep your mouth closed when your not on your knees" I snapped my hands close._

"_Girls, girls don't make a scene. It's not pretty when I don't get to see it first. Bella come with me two hot people together stop the dumb boys from coming round, Love ya Tonya I'll be back" Rose connected my arm to hers and pulled me along._

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There was no way I was going downstairs. The memory of Tanya down right pissed me off.

I could hear a group argument going on. I went to my window and opened it. I could make a Grand Escape again if I wanted to.

But the door opened when I got my foot out.

I turned around to see Edward at my door looking at me. I reached over to my rocking chair grabbed my sweater, pulled my other leg over and jumped onto the tree that brushed my window.

"Bella fuck don't be so difficult" I heard Edward yell in fustration. I looked for the branch that was strong enough to not break but weak enough to carry me to the floor. I looked up to see him take a leap to the tree. He just does not give up.

I pulled the sweater over my head and ducked into the tress that lined the back off my house. I cut through into the little broken down wood park behind my house. A big contrast to my plain white-ish house. I pushed branches off my face and walked onto the open street. It was just beginning to get dark outside and misty. I walked down the street thinking about the time I went to Paige's house. I tried to remember the street names but quickly gave up. Looking for her house would only make running harder.

"Bella! Damn just stop come here" I heard Edward yell. I saw him cut out of the tress and yell again as he saw me.

"Bella lets just talk, like we used to we always fix things that way" He said pleading with me. It was to dam bad that I didn't care. I walked faster taking turns to who knows where. Finally I saw the school in the distance. If I could just reach there I could lop around and head back home. Maybe just Maybe he wouldn't think to go back.

I walked onto the school field that lead to more tress. I cut in and walked more.

"Your going to make me angry" Edward said still keeping up with his long legs. Fuck my mom for being height deprived.

"So get fucking angry" I yelled. The tress were starting to look a little to familiar. I saw the backyards of homes everywhere. Then just when it couldn't get any worse I cut through his fucking meadow.

"Bella!" he yelled. "I can't just be your friend"

"Don't say that, don't you dare after what you did say that" I stopped and turned around.

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_We had been walking around avoiding Emmett for what seemed like years._

"_Just talk to him" I said._

"_Why should I do any thing I don't want to" Rose said and walked up her stairs._

_When we got almost to the top of the stairs she stopped and glared. Rose didn't even try to stop me from seeing and I wish she had. There was Tanya whispering into Edward's ear. Saying all kinds of shit I could tell. Rubbing her hands on him. He swatted but she did it again. I was about to turn into one angry Bella before she said something._

"_Edward how could you let some no good piece of shit get between us" She said. "There's no such thing as love. It comes in small amounts and in short periods. Then bang right before it hits it disappears"_

_She reminded me off something Charlie had said to me. Something that made me forget about love. That day when I was little and Alice came to sleep in my room. They night that I woke to packed bags and sad faces. When Renee kissed me and Alice on the cheeks and left. Charlie had said more to him then me. "Love comes in little pieces of happiness and in short time periods. Love is a come and go thing and at some time you knew it would leave. It comes to the top and sinks" _

"_Your wrong Tanya just get that" He said. She kissed him, kissed him good. He pushed her back and spat on the floor. "Shit Tanya you never got it did you. You never got that I didn't like you"_

"_Not into Bella came. I loved you into she came and bitched at your brain" She poked him in the head._

"_I didn't love you!" He told her firmly._

"_Yea well fuck you, Love don't like your stupid games"_

"_You don't love me! You like the way I look and how we used to flirt just get that. You liked the idea of me" He turned his head away and saw me._

"_Wine cellar where did you say it was" I asked Rose looking for a way out. Love did you wrong just look what it did to Tanya and I'm sure something did Rose wrong to the way she closed her eyes._

"_In the basement right door the kitchen" She said._

"_Bella!?"Edward called out confused and worried. "Bella I love you" I ran away. This shouldn't be the reaction to someone telling you they love you. I did not love him, what I had was just a feeling in my stomach that filled with the happiness I got when I was with him. It would only go when one of us got tired. Just like Renee, Tanya, Rose I'm sure. Maybe even fucked James had a twisted view. _

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"What did I do. Tanya I pushed her off I swear" Edward walked closer I backed up.

"No it's not that. Take it back, take what you said back!" I screamed wrenching in the weakness my legs brought my knees. _Before it just gets up and leaves _I added to myself.

"Take what back? Shit Bella I don't know what your talking about. If I could just get one glimpse into your head. If I could wish to meet my peak of craziness just to catch one word! Bella I don't know what I said" He pleaded again dragging my knees to the floor.

"What you said at the party. What you said when I ran" I told him looking at him, green eyes to strong to pull mine away.

A look of realization to his face.

"I love you?" He tested. I sat on my knees.

"I love you, God Bella I love you just let me" Edward came closer. A tear ran down my face the harder he tried the more I wanted to just fall and never breath again. I tried and I never found it but here he is just speaking and the feeling in my gut just kept over flowing.

"I don't want this" I said.

"Don't lie I'm tired of this. You don't want to be friends I don't want to be friends. I can't just have half of you!" He yelled at me " I want it all. I never loved anyone like you, not even me. I love you. There's no explanation it's plain as day let me show you"

"I fucked Newton"

He pushed me back against the damp grass and kissed me harder than I had before. I refused to let this get the best of me I couldn't...... He pushed his tongue into my mouth pushing me for a reaction. He bit lightly on my bottom lip keeping my mouth open.

"Bella...." He breathed into my mouth fustration kissing my lips, his love tasting bittersweet. He stopped when I didn't give back.

A lonely rain drop found my cheek and mingled with my cries of desperation. It became the tear I wouldn't shed. My mind was stuck on stupid. I loved him. It wasn't math two plus two didn't equal four. It multiplied, divided, and grew into larger amounts that didn't make any sense.

I looked over at him and saw a tear leaves his eyes breaking my heart into a million of pieces. I grabbed him and rolled over me on top of him and kissed him. Taking pieces of his heart to rebuild mine, giving him the best part of me and the bad, taking the bad parts of him and making them good. I rebuilt my heart with his love and game him mine. A million of pieces became one and my heart was not only mine. A heartbreak for a remake. I loved him. Unlike me he didn't hesitate but gave me all that he had.

"I love you" I said him rolling on top of me.

"I know" He kissed my head pulling my sweater over. I pulled his shirt off. Soon I was naked on a bed of clothes he made. One condom he had to protect me from life long choices and tears of joy and sadness to be shed.

"Love you" He asked me looking deep into my eyes and I knew what he saw for I see it in his.

"Yea" I smiled kissed him. He worked me better than I've ever felt taking each knot and twisting it straight. Loving each part of me. Deeper and deeper, better and better.

Rip me apart I'm done being strong.

I cried. Single tears following the other down my cheeks and into his hands that held my face. Is this what it felt like, those pieces that Charlie had, Tanya, Rose and Renee before it left. Before it made them worst like I was before it made them me. Like I was. Before now.

Roll me over I'll show you what I got. Tears falling on to his body perfect and in shape.

Faster and harder because we loved hard not soft. When we did something from now I'd give it my all.

Hands squeezing and pulling. Shaking taking me away down under into his perfectly flawed green ocean. I did not resurface. I stayed and brought him down with me.

And we came back up he kissed my tears away.

Because all we needed was a Heartbreak for a Remake.

* * *

**Review....... Tell me how did it go. Some of you might have wanted it to happen differently but this was the only was I saw it. It's so important that you REVIEW!!!! keeps me going on what you guys want and need.**

**If you have the time go check out Blue Roses and Sinful Treats. My new baby..... When I said have the time I meant right now I love you... I know you might hate me....... my friend cried and tried to punch me........**


	20. What I Have to Offer

**This is Edwards view of what happened. This isn't a fuller. I thought it would be understood more If you could see it from him. **

**It's Important to me to know how you feel.... READ AND REVIEW**

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Edward Cullen

I was nothing short of pissed. I was fucking angry. If steam could come out of my ears I'd look like a freaking cartoon character. I have done nothing wrong so why was she running. I knew she was there longer for the duck and dodge kiss. Shouldn't she have gone all -no offence intended- bitch Bella and ripped Tanya's hair out or something? Instead my head filled with profanity from Rosalie and a very happy Tanya singing in her head. I pushed past them both to go after her.

Even if she thought I was kissing her wasn't she the one who implied that she would get her fix from other places than open-for-her-house-Edward? If anything I should be the one pissed off at her for getting angry for something she may or may not have thought she seen.

Instead I was in the living room using my height to look over heads for her brown hair. I was the one fretting over what happened and I was the one looking for her. I'm not sure if it was a apology I would give her when I found her or an explanation for her running off.

I asked Jasper in passing if her had seen her he said no but he would look around. I had to walk faster to miss out on his pity he was giving me through his head.

At one point I just stopped and stood in the middle of the huge living room asking myself if coming to Rosalie's party was really worth anything. Other than the times I came back here with Jasper her last party didn't exactly bring people together. It was getting to feel like every time things were okay with Bella I should hold my breath because it wouldn't last.

In that thought I seen Bella coming toward me. I don't think she noticed that she was pushing people away pretty hard. Causing them to glare at her as she passed. When she came up to me she paused as if going back on something she was heading for. She avoided my eyes as she crashed her lips to mine. It took me less than a few seconds to give it back to her. We deepend the kiss. I knew I loved her my feelings haven't changed from the last time that I had kissed her. I figured what ever game she was playing I would just tag along.

She pulled away and left me with a question, me facing her back as she walked away. I stood there stuck in stupid. I didn't know what it was that I was supposed to do. Follow her and say what?

I stood there with the sweaty bodies of teens rubbing up on me in their alcohol induced frenzy. I wondered briefly if the bottle of absolute vodka in her hands caused her to act this way. I began to walk after her any trace already lost in the bopping and shaking of dance.

I guess I got there to late. Rosalie was saying things in her head that made me feel like an intruder, saying parts of herself that I didn't feel right to listen on. Looking at me like she wanted to hold my hand and walk with me. Like she thought I was in the worst position of life and needed a hand.

"She was over there by Tyler" She told me and put her strong face back on. The face of a champion.

Jasper avoided me not wanting to step into deep. Like the tension was burning his skin. Scratching his head like he might find excape deep inside.

I tapped Tyler on his shoulder and he turned around with the face of I-don't-want-to-say-anything.

"Bella?" I asked him.

"Man I don't know if I should say anything.." Tyler looked like a man caught in fire.

"Tyler just point" he signed and raised his hand in the direction of the door.

I walked over to the door not sure what I would find when I got to the end. Was I going to be fucked over at the end of the yellow brick road or be caught in mind games like Dorthy, someone telling me to click my Nikes and it would all be okay. Just fuck it I wanted answers, not a heart, not courage, or a brain. I wanted some fucking answers.

I opened the door and stepped out. Here I found what I was looking for in the car of Mike Newton. I found the answer I wanted. She never had to pick or want me. I found who I was looking for.

Maybe she never got the memo. Maybe she wasn't done searching. Maybe she wasn't done running.

I clicked my Nikes together and wished for someplace better than home.

"We are going over to Alice's house" Jasper threw the baseball and catched it over and over again. He was lying on my bed. Fucking up the way I made it up.

"We are going to go over. I'm going to spend sometime with the ball of energy that is Alice and you are going to to fix this. You don't have to be together and quite frankly I'd rather you tell her off. She was nice but she wasn't ever exactly friendly" Jasper was convincing me to go over.

All I wanted to do was just stop. I found love, lost it, and done with it. Now that I had it I could write it off my list of things I didn't want to find again. Tuck it back into my box of secrets and never let it unleash again.

"No we are not"

"Yes we are"

"You can't make me"

"Yes"

"No"

Ten minuets later we were polluting the air outside of their house. It must have been here for an hour. You'd think someone would have seen us by now. It was a little into the afternoon. Or a little past. I didn't know.

"We are going to go in. If Bella isn't there and is at Mikes you can take the car and go home. If she's there you will hopefully tell her how much of a bitch she was. Now I don't appove of talking bad to women but that girl is unlike many I have seen. Makes me happy that I met Alice and not her first." Jasper led the way up the steps and rang the door bell.

Alice smiled and kissed him, she ushered both of us inside. She was on the phone with her dad and told us to wait for a moment.

"Do you need a prep talk?" Jasper asked as Alice stepped into the other room.

"Shut up"

"I'll that that as a yes. If she doesn't want to be with you then that's on her she can have Newtons white truck and ugly hair. You will tell her how you feel because it's not hidden and see what she says. If it comes to the worst tell her the bad side of how you feel. Honestly I wouldn't usually support this but..... come on" Jasper was more angry than me.

Alice came back into the room.

"So are you guys here to tell me why Bella's such a weak sport?" Alice asked.

We got into an argument of the pros and cons. I was the cons and Alice was the pros and Jasper sipped on a little of both.

We went back and forth.

Then forth and back.

I was the one at the end to just start walking up the stairs with the directions that Alice has given me.

Second last room on the right. There were a lot of fucking doors, made me want to get a taste of what the lived in. So I did just that. Opened and closed doors as I reached hers. I opened it up to see Bella sitting on her window seal. She looked at me with shock and reached for her sweater.

"Fuck Bella don't be so difficult" I pulled at my hair she was already out the window.

I swear at myself as I again went after someone who didn't want to be bothered. I jumped to the tree with ease but my height made it harder for me to get down the tree. I saw her walk to the forest behind her house and followed. She got out of my view when she broke out of the tress so when I saw her I was just a little more than mad.

"Bella! Damn just stop come here" What I wanted to say was stop being childish and tell me that I'm not the one.

"Bella lets just talk, like we used to we always fix things that way" She took sharp turns but that wasn't a problem. She might as well been in full sprint, this walking fast was doing nothing for her. She made the wrong turn and ended up at the school. I guess she thought she could out smart me but I've been here for a while and knew the parts closer to the meadow than she did. I don't think she even knew where she was going.

"Your going to make me angry" I was trying to stay clam. Never has anyone made me so, not me.

"So go get fucking angry!" She yelled back at me. She finally got into the meadow. I didn't want to go any further. Here was where good things happened to me. If It wouldn't work here I had a feeling this whatever this was wouldn't work anywhere.

"Bella!" he yelled. "I can't just be your friend"

"Don't say that, don't you dare after what you did say that"She practically swear back.

"What did I do. Tanya I pushed her off I swear" I went into stupid mode again.

"No it's not that. Take it back, take what you said back!" She screamed.

"Take what back? Shit Bella I don't know what your talking about. If I could just get one glimpse into your head. If I could wish to meet my peak of craziness just to catch one word! Bella I don't know what I said" She fell to the floor. I was just getting fucking pissed every second I didn't get what she wanted me to see.

"What you said at the party. What you said when I ran" Bella told me looking straight into my eyes. Well shit I'm just going to have to go on a whim and hope that's what she wanted to here. I took a second to think. Than bam right into me head.

"I love you?" I tried the words out on my tongue. Not for me I knew that was true but to see if that was what she wanted. I was always fucking at her will. It pissed me off to not have control over myself.

"I love you, God Bella I love you just let me" I walked closer to her.

"I don't want this" She said. Right there I fucking blew, How can she sit there and just lie to me. How could she sit there and lie to herself. If she didn't want what I had to offer I'd rather she just say.

"Don't lie I'm tired of this. You don't want to be friends I don't want to be friends. I can't just have half of you!"I yelled at her " I want it all. I never loved anyone like you, not even me. I love you. There's no explanation it's plain as day let me show you"

"I fucked Newton" I don't know if my fucking heart just gave up on me and stopped beating. I threw myself at her. I kissed her with all I had. Not letting anything hold me back, the pain of those words still couldn't let me break free from her. This was what I had to offer if she didn't want it. Bella didn't have to act.

"Bella..." I let her name slip of my lips, fustration. I was giving up. I didn't need this overpriced addiction. No drug would ever look appealing to me again. My heart blew up in my chest, I pulled away from her. She did not have to kiss back. She did not have to have me. I would never look for this feeling again. My first suspicion of love was correct. Over rated.

One regect tear fell from me but I let it fall like other things in my life. I gave up. I hated that tear.

She kissed me and my mind wouldn't allow me not to react. It was just instinct to kiss when her lips where on mine. In truth I didn't have anything to give her by doubt. She pushed what she had left into me, tried to give me her all. I just stayed down and let her fill me. It wasn't the same it was stronger. More than what she gave me when she pulled away for breaths. It didn't leave me with question.

"I love you" She said.

"I Know" I don't remember what happened after. Just a lot of tears from her taking my doubt away. With my second last secret for her slowly slipping away. When we woke up in the meadow I told her I could read minds. That's why I'm here. She laughed and said.

"I was a little worried if animals dream. I guess they don't cause I didn't see a thing"

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**How many chapter's should I have untill the end? Tell me what you think.**


	21. McCarthy, McCarthy

**Some of you wanted a look into Rosalie's and Emmett's life. So here you have it. The time line jumps a bit here. Bella and Edward have been in their realationship for about a couple of months here.**

**R&R any questions just ask.  
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**RPOV**

Pathetic, just pathetic. Honestly I thought that girl had more.. spunk, but no she's just like the rest of them. Blind. Bella could have been big, not more than me but still we could have had fun torturing the forks population. Now she's all tied down and love whipped, don't get me wrong I have nothing against love. I know it's out there for most people, but who said you have to find it now? High school was for having fun. Love was becoming more and less more important for me.

I wasn't lovable I guess I was, a match to behold. Not many people liked me but I got used to it. Girls didn't want to be my friend because of competition but I didn't really want anyone they had.

I knew Edward would have her by at least two months, I mean come on you'd have to be blind to not see him. He had what most of those girls wanted, that bad boy mystery thing.

I had enough of bad boys and mystery. I just wanted it laid out for me with a slight challenge the bigger the better. Edward was so dull and boring, the happy to protect my girlfriend type guy. So... typical.

Bella tried to tell me that it was different, that they both had the same kind of secrets. That they both had special things about them that kept them understanding each other.

What the hell could be so special? We live in forks for god's sake.

Emmett was what I very confusingly wanted. He had everything my parents would scratch their eyes out to keep a secret. He sold drugs, looked like a boyish body builder, and did everything I wish I could do in the open. He could do anything he wanted no one told him no, or give him lines to cross. He seemed so free to be who he wanted. I guess that made me look at him twice. I fucked many guys like him, but never ones _Like _him.

That fucker Jewel was really pissing me off with her shit. I showed up for school It was the only place that allowed me more time away from home, why would I fuckin show up? One or two classes were nothing, I could get into any school with daddies money. Who need good attendence when you got money? Not me.

Edward and Bella have been so on and off in arguments these last couple of months it's been annoying. We all knew they just wanted to fuck, so why not go do it, who cared about what Jewel said about taking things in baby steps. When you just wanted to knock some boots. Or maybe that was just for me, all the better I guess.

"Rosalie, come down stairs and say hello to our guests" My mother said walking completely into my room she wasn't much for privacy inside her home. This house was my mother's pride and glory, I was her pride and glory. Nothing gave her promise like me, I was beautiful like her – how could I not snag a rich husband. She got my father the banker just hooked in seconds. He wouldn't do much he didn't say unless it really pissed me off. Daddies little girl here. Yea that's right I use the infamous pout. That's how I got most of the right side of the house to myself.

"Why do I have to say hi yo your guests?" I asked her. Knowing her response before she said it.

"Because I want what's best for you and when I'm dead and gone I'll be damned if you don't have the best" My mother said looking into my closet. "I know you'll look acceptable you always do, just do it in half the minuets you usually do"

See that's the thing about my mother. I can't hate her, her intents are just misguided. I wanted to have my own happiness, not here vision of happiness. I don't need anymore money I already have loads of it already. When they were gone my father's money would just keep coming in. His bank was already in his will to me when he died. Who had more money than bank money other than celebrity's?

But fuck it I don't need to marry, I already had a failed attempt at that. Who needs another Royce? Someone to show their true colours just hours before or after the wedding. The only difference would be that my cherry would already have been popped.

She left the room and I was down in seconds. Helga stopped me at the stairs.

"Rosalie I should tell you something. It's about that-"

"Helga not right now, let me say hi to at least three people and disappear. I'll come find you later" I waved her off quickly. My dad waved me over. I said hello to the men he was talking to and leaned into my dad. They were looking at me like I was fresh meat, only the people I invited could look at me like that. It reminded me of Royce and his drunk friends. Disgusting, even for a sex addict.

He let me go noticing my discomfort. Now only if he'd force mom to stop parading me around like a freaking shiny object. It's a love hate relationship I have for them, my dad's to soft for my mom and my mother's a bitch. I get most of it from her but fuck I was no wear near as bad as her.

I picked up champaign and drank it down. It didn't matter here, rich kids drank red wine at like 10, the main alcohol at every home dinner.

"Ms. Rosalie really there something you should" Helga found me again. There couldn't be anything worst than being here.

"What is it Helga?" I asked but got my answer. There was Emmett standing by the garden doors. Wearing a suit jacket with dark jeans. I almost spat my drank out. What the hell was going on. He couldn't be here everyone on the list were friends and business people of my parents. Most of them flew in!

"Rosalie over here" My mother said standing beside one really tall intimidating male. I knew him, everyone knew him. He owned the McCarthy car dealer ships around the world. My mother hated him said he was a class a asshole.

"This is Mister McCarthy. Jase this is my daughter Rosalie" She introduced as keeping my just a step behind her.

"Are you all this blessed with beauty. I'd think I was standing around models" Idiot. My mother was a model. Olden day god model. Everyone knew her. Prick.

"Thank you, but I have to go see Dad he wanted me"

"Yes of course" He said.

I rushed off to the garden doors. I walked all about the garden looking for him I found him walking down the path that led to the front.

"Emmett! Emmett" I hissed very loudly.

He stopped and turned around looking caught.

"Oh don't give me that face what the hell are you doing here? Matter of fact you shouldn't be here" I accused.

"I don't want to be here which is why I'm leaving excuse me" Emmett pushed past me. Past me! And he was the one at my house.

"No excuse me. Everyone here is on the list and I don't remember bringing your name to the post office for my strict ass mother" I glared.

"You wouldn't know that considering the fact that you haven't been talking to me since that shit at your house months ago" he glared back.

"That's stupid of course I'm not talking to you, we both know that, but that still doesn't answer how you even got through the front doors" I hissed.

"It does not matter Rose I was on my way out anyways" He said.

"Where are you heading to. Some deal, to go sell drugs?" I accused some more.

He stepped back up to me. I was at low eye level in my heels.

"Why would you care and who are you to talk? Shouldn't you be out fu - no I won't go there" he stopped mid sentence.

"Shouldn't I be out fucking someone? Yea I guess that's what the sex addict should be doing huh?" I lowered my voice. That stung for some reason, but I heard it all the time at school.

We stood there awkwardly and silent.

"Look I came here to drop something off is all, I'm just going to go. I know you don't want me any where near you and your perfect title they all think off you" He stepped down a rock stair and continued on his way.

"Emmett!" But it wasn't me I looked behind me to see Mr. McCarthy jogging down the stair's, he couldn't see me from the side of the house. He was heading toward Emmett who was already at our mini parking lot.

"Bring this home and don't leave tonight. You have some errands to run in the morning. Although I don't expect to even find you"

"You're right father you most likely won't see me home tonight. I came here because I needed that car repair and this was the trade"

"Do these errands and you can get the engine upgrade you wanted" His dad glared at him. "Fuck Emmett do it"

Emmett grabbed the package from him and threw it into his car.

"Go pretend that you're perfect" Emmett yelled while his dad jogged back up into his house.

I speed walk over to Emmett's car, he was already seated inside.

"Emmett!" I called for him. He didn't answer but instead turned on his car.

Shit I said as I pulled off my heels. I hiked up my dress and started to run down the stone driveway. I jumped into the path of his car, he had to come my way to get out.

He jerked his car to a stop. He got out and banged his door.

"Fuck I could have hit you!" he yelled heatedly at me.

"You're Mr. McCarthy's son?" I asked.

"No I'm his nephew my dad's dead" He said.

"S-sorry. I just thought that-"

"Save the sympathy. He's my guardian, if you looked at me you can tell why people don't know about me. I'm not exactly the model rich kid type. I fall under the family secret type" He said.

"Why are you being such a dick?" I pushed his shoulder.

"Why where _you _running after _me_?" He asked.

"I wanted to know if he was your dad"

"Sure that was it, not that I was a rich kid and you suddenly thought it be okay to hang with me?" Emmett jabbed at me. I was appalled that he would fucking think that of me. I avoid rich male kids for a fucking living, wouldn't want to find one my mother might approve of.

"Good to hear that's what you think of me. I wish Jasper was here at least he's the only decent person I know and more importantly the only one clearly worth my time" I bent down to put back on my heels.

"Is that it? You love Jasper" Emmett asked.

"Are you crazy, Jasper's practically my fucking brother" I spat. I turned around to start walking away.

"Shit Rose- fuck. You're so difficult!" Emmett jogged up to and in front of me. "Are all you rich kids like that"

"Yea they are that's why we all come to these fucking parties to laugh at poor happy people! While we drink our wine and hate our lives!" I moved around to quicken my pace.

My arm got pulled back and I fell back into him. When I turned around to push him off my lips collided with his mouth. Obviously my first reaction wasn't to push him off but to pull him closer.

I pulled his head down to bring him closer to me. I pressed my body into his. He straightened his back to take my legs of the floor so I wrapped them around his waist instead. His hands where pressing into my side's so hard that I almost said ahh... He was walking backward into the shadow and cover of a tree, I could feel the bark being pressed into my skin. I did lean into him more to take my back of the bark but he placed his left hand between my back and the tree. I knew it was scratching the hell out of him.

I pulled more of his curly brown hair to bring him closer, I could feel his hand running up my thigh. I gasped in a breath as his cold hand went up my dress, than he stopped. Just stopped.

He took my legs from around his waist, took my hands from his hair and slowly put me down onto the ground. My heels dug a little into the earth.

"What was that?" I asked a tad bit more on the side of angry.

"I'm not going to kiss you because I'm pissed at you" He said.

"What? Are you serious that's the best kind!" I asked incredulously.

"Rose does everything have to come out of anger with you?" He asked.

Huh?

"What the hell do you mean, your the one with anger management" I half laughed half sighed.

"Which is why I know this. At your party you stopped talking to me because of the drugs, but before you were even more persistent because of Lauren. Then today I bet you ran after me because you were pissed that I was even over here, than again because you thought I was McCarthy's son and didn't think to tell the beautiful Rose. When I couldn't because you were the one not talking to me after attempt after attempt to get to know you" He exasperated.

I was dumbstruck. I. Was. Never. At a lost for words. Never.

So instead I said "We are not in group Emmett. Stop shotting interrogations at me"

"See this is what you do. I get pissed and punch a wall but you – you get all up in denial and start saying smart shit like that" He said.

"Oh bite me" I said. He began laughing.

Emmett began walking back to his car.

"For someone so wild, you are so uptight!" He laughed some more.

I took my shoe off and threw it at him. "How's that for up tight!" I turned around and starting heading to word the side of the house. I reached into my bra to take out the key, the only key to the left side door. Other than the one Jasper, and Helga had.

How dare he call me uptight! Me Rosalie uptight. The sex addict uptight! Oh come on.

I called up Helga. I pulled out my hair and went into the washroom. I jumped into the shower. I could Hear Helga going about the washroom. I replayed the scene to her while I washed my hair and body.

When I got out I went into the room and put on the my night slip.

"Can you believe the nerve of that guy calling my uptight and angry. I am not angry I was pissed there's a huge difference. Kissing me and then stopping what is this? I tease, but I mostly always finish what I started" She pulled my hair back into a tight wet pony tail.

"Damn! That hurt"

"Silly girl, He likes you now go to sleep so you don't have bags under your eyes from all that stress when you see him tomorrow" She primmed me.

"When I see him tomorrow I'll throw another shoe at his head" I sighed acting like a kid. Only with her though.

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When I got to school the next day I was nothing short of irritated. I have been looking for him all day and could find him. At lunch I skipped Bella to go looking for Tyler, the only person I knew would one way or the other end up seeing Emmett today.

"Tyler come here" He pointed at him self like an idiot I made sure to use his name after all, who else would it be.

"Yes you" He followed me outside. "Do you have any heroin?" I asked him.

"Um no" he said surprised.

"Don't be stupid I'm obviously not a cop" I sighed.

"I might have a little" He said.

"Good how much?" I asked and pulled out my wallet.

"I don't think I sho-" Tyler began.

"How much Tyler?" I asked impatiently.

"$20" I gave it to him, what the hell was this, was Tyler ripping me off.

"This is not a twenty dollar bag, give me the hole pack I'll pay" I said.

"That's a lot" He told me.

"I'm not stupid" I sighed. I put $120 dollars into his hand to miss lead Emmett.

He gave me all that he had. Sure enough after school and Jewel he was waiting at my car.

"Where is it?" He yelled low at me, under his breath.

"Non of you business" I said.

"Did you take that uptight shit to head I was just being pissed" Emmett told me.

"Who cares, I have to be some where" I said.

He pulled me to him.

"It was a lot are you suicidal or something Rose? Shit" he breathed into my face.

"Why would you care?" I asked.

"Because I would where is it" He said.

I walked around him to my car.

"Could you be so childish to use that stuff because you're angry with what I said" He scratched his head.

What?

"Don't you ever think you could piss me off so much" I got into my car.

"Where is it Rose!" He yelled into the car.

"I threw it away! Glad to think you'd actually think I'd use it. If I'm so uptight I guess you'll be to because I bought your whole supply, from what I used to know you can't get any until at least next week" He stood there just looking at me.

He smiled.

"You like me" He smiled using his got damn dimples.

"Liking you and wanting to fuck you are two different things" I said before I drove away.

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**Well there it is, Hopped you liked it. Do you guys want to see more of Rosalie and Emmett, I'll most likely show more before this story is over. Everyone will probably get one or two chapter's before the story is over. If you want me to just finish up with Bella and Edward just tell me. And that will be that!**

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	22. Speak for Me

**I know, I know, I know. Where have I been? At school. Simple. May not be what you want to here and I'm sorry but instead of putting up a note I put up a chapter instead. I have decided to do 2-1 chapter of each couple to seal the deal on this chapter. There will be one chapter left before this story is over. Personally I think Edward and Bella have both gotten over their fear of love. They also told each other their was where I planned on ending it but felt like - but what about everyone else.**

**Tell me what you think about the whole bomb I just dropped on you. Sorry if you don't approve.  
**

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**RPOV**

"Go away" I hung up the phone on Emmett for what must have been the forth time. If he actually thinks I really cared for him and those drugs he must be getting high some where off on cloud nine. Like I said before liking him and wanting to fuck him where two completely different things. He annoyed the shit out of me but I couldn't deny that I was still answering the phone to hear his annoying voice, because unlike other's I don't live in the land of denial.

"_Black roses, special delivery just for you and I.." I picked up my cell and answered._

"Are you going to insist on calling me" I sighed into the phone, even though it was nothing but a contempt sigh. Even if I would drop him after I got what I wanted, it was good while it lasted.

"Oh stop flirting with me, you know for once it's great to be on your good side" I could feel his dimple _smile_ through the phone. Which made me smile and smack myself.

"You are not on my good side. You know once I get around to fucking you all this calling shit will stop, and you'll just be another one of my conquests" I sat up on my bed pulling my robe tighter over my body.

"You and I both know that's not true" He said.

Silence on my part.

"OK, maybe I know that and you don't" He laughed.

"You know this is kind of boring, I thought you where more fun" I pulled my hair back into a messy pony tail.

I can see what's right in front of me. Those brown eyes, the curly hair, the body, my god who wouldn't. It's December and cold, I could be in here having some great hot sex to get warm. Why wasn't I? Some may ask me, because I was to busy hanging the phone up on Emmett – that's why.

"I'm coming over" Emmett said before hanging up on me. I looked at the cell as I threw it on my bed. He was not coming in. I already changed into comfort clothes, my hair thrown back and make up off – not that I needed it to look pretty or feel comfortable.

You know with someone else I would be pissed that he hung the phone up on me. The only person who gets away with that is Jasper, and I still hit him in the back of the head when I see him.

He and Alice are what you'd call a potential married couple. You know with the white picked fence, two kids, and a happy go lucky dog. Yea they where all that and more.

I was happy with it, Alice tuned out to be not such a failer as I first expected. Although that still didn't mean that I liked her. I'm just not a girl person, they are just to girl-y. Makes me want to bruf up in my _own_ mouth. I talk to the ones like Tanya and Bella, you know the ones who are already bitches so you know what to expect because being screwed over from the nice one is always a extra bite in the ass.

I sighed why don't they ever give up to think I was wearing a easy sign on my back. Not that I wasn't, and not that I was. It wasn't hard to get into my pants, if you looked, talked, and act the way I want you to act. I wasn't a whore to say the least. I'm a sex addict. I have an addiction and just like people stuck on drugs I just can't find the need to stop.

It makes me feel good, who wouldn't do what makes them feel good. No matter how unconventional it may be. Fuck it, just love it!

I sat on my computer and typed away in my entertainment room, when I turned it off after telling Tanya I wouldn't be at the party tonight I went back into my room.

I rolled over on the bed with the book I was reading. Yes I do so happen to read. It's been going like this for a while now, him calling and me hanging up on him. I took my time to text Tanya back and tell her I wouldn't be going to the party anymore, I just felt like staying in for once.

Unlike what everyone else thought I didn't have to be in the spotlight all the time. Just when I felt like having my ass kissed because let's face it, it's true. They know it and I know it.

Do I like it sure, to some extent I guess. If it got to the point where I was looking over my shoulder for some creep who's been following me for a while then... No I didn't like it.

That just happens to be one of the very unfortunate things that actually happens to a person like me. One that I would gladly give up on. A treat I'd gladly drop. This fucking beauty for a day, just to have my mom stop pushing me in her wealthy male children's faces. They were just like me on the outside and probably the same on the inside. Fucked up and don't want to be there just like me and if they liked it then well, I hated them more.

Who wants to wear cocktail dresses and go to garden parties in Forks? Not me. Kind to think of it, how the hell did you grow flowers in Forks anyway with the lack if sun.

Rich people I tell you, I bet they imported those flowers from Spain.

I picked up my phone when It started to sing one of my favourite songs.

"So are you going to come and get me?" Emmett asked.

"No I'm not, be a doll and come through the window" I replied.

"Rose there's no way in hell anyone could get to your window. Have you seen the size of your house? Your bedroom window is nowhere near the floor" he said.

"Yea I know, that's why there a side door to my part of the house, perfect for sneaking people in but since I never asked for you to come over. I see no point on coming down and getting you" I smiled.

"Rose, open the dam door" he hung up on me, well I'd be damned. I threw on a pair of jeans, a lean sweater that just so happened to come of the shoulder, grabbed a pair of boats and walked down my side stairs. I opened the door and stepped out. Though before he could step in I turned around and locked the door.

He raised his eyebrow at me but it looked weired because both of them went up together, you ether can or can't do it.

"What? Did you think I'd let you in after all those hang ups, and demands. What do I look like to you anyways?" I asked.

"Sexy" he said. "Where you stepping out or did you put that on just for me?" He questioned.

I followed his gaze, I was wearing knee thigh high wedge boots, which I had no idea I was wearing by the way. I just grabbed the first boots that came into sight. I had on boyfriend jeans, you know the kind that's ripped everywhere and anywhere. My red sweater barely hung on my left shoulder displaying my bra strap. Could I help that even in unconsciousness my mind still had style.

"No this was for the guy coming over" I said. I watched in amusement as his face switched up into anger.

"Your kidding right? Aren't you cold it's freezing outside" he said but I did nothing but raise my eyebrow to answer him. If he wanted to pop up then he might as well think I had better things to do today. Which I did but turned down after hearing that he was coming over. Like I said, I didn't live In the land of denial. I wanted him, to fuck or not I always get what I want. Simple as that. I did feel kind of cold, even with the big comfy sweater – it did show skin.

"Give me your coat" I pointed.

"What?" he laughed.

"Your the one who told me I should be cold and now that I've thought about it I am. I'm not going back to my room because if I do I won't be coming back down. Besides your the one who chose to show up in december so you must not be cold enough, give me your coat" I held my hand out.

He gave it to me with a grunt. He had a huge sweat shirt on.

"We've been playing this game for months now Rose. Bella and Edward got together after whatever the hell the where arguing about. So why can't we?" He asked.

"May I remind you that you are not Edward and I am not Izzy. Of should I remind you that I'm not love struck and having double meetings together with Ms. J. That I also don't hold your hand like Izzy does Edward when there are a lot of people in the room, like your dieing at the seams" I leaned my back against the door.

"True" He stepped closer. "So who was coming over?"

"Some guy from my black list" I said. He stopped.

"Your black list?" he quirked.

"Yea you know the alternative to a man's little black book, of easy booty calls" I laughed at his face.

"We better get a move on before he comes, I'm afraid a ass like his couldn't be turned down if I seen it"

"I planned on staying here" He said.

"What don't know where to take me?" I babied him.

"No that's not it, I only have my jeep" He said.

"That big thing?" I looked around him

"What can't handle a bumpy ride, to uptight?" he asked me smirking

"Oh shut up Emmett if anything I can handle a bumpy ride. As for the uptight thing, do you want another shoe thrown at your head? Because I can handle that for you" I said.

"I think you've made that pretty clear. Did you use those dugs for a rich kid pill fest" He moved up another step towards me.

I stepped closer.

"This coming from the poor little rich kid, what your sad because you didn't get an invite?"

"Poor little rich kid. Is that because I don't wear it on my chest like you do. Since the last time I remember your the one who sips wine and hates your own life" He got in my face. "Where we going?"

"A bar" I kissed his cheek. "We're going to play a game"

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When we got in his jeep I pulled my hair out of the ponytail and shook it.

"So the first person to pick someone up, and get a approved easy fuck wins?" he repeated.

"Yup, but we're just getting a number, tell them we'll call later tonight" I said.

"Is this what you do for fun?" Emmett threw his kickstand down.

"Me and Tanya do a lot of things when we're bored" I shrugged my shoulder's. "This just so happens to be the most fun and dangerous" I said.

"Dangerous?"

"Anyone of the people could take the game to far, maybe follow you, stock you, won't take later for an answer. Some even go to far as to spike our drinks. That's why I don't even let them buy me one anymore, the bartender will do it from them, for a good price"

"You come out here for fun..." Emmett scratched his head incredulously.

"Oh just come on" I pulled his hand. "It's better than having rich kids over to pop our mom's pills"

We walked into the bar and I let go of his hand. When I went to the bar I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my neck. I sat down.

I didn't need to do anything for the men in the bar to notice me but that wasn't my point, and that's not what I was going for today.

"Drink" Johnny asked me, the bar tender.

"Not today, you know me. Underage and all" I smiled sweetly.

"You know that doesn't matter" he smiled back but not at all as sweetly. Made me want to laugh he was such a pervert.

"You know I get of at one" he said.

"I'll keep that in mind like all the other times" There was a reason why I picked this bar. Everyone came here, ether it was me and Tanya. Me and Leah. Or all of us. Let's just say we all find something, or someone in here to let us get away for a while. In a way this was our sick twisted heaven.

I took little peaks at Emmett he was scooping the room for a perfect pick like me. I was not going to make this just anyone. It had to be a challenge. If I got out of my house on a cool fall night I planned to have fun.

"Where's your date" I turned around to see the deep voice talking to me. Absolutely gorgeous usually I avoid the model type, they're always just a tad be to, confident if you know what I mean. Almost creepy. Though I wanted a challenge and he looked fun.

"I'm looking at him" I said.

"Why hello, your right on time" He said. When I looked away from him I took the chance to look at Emmett, if I had to say so he was talking to a really hot girl, made me think if these two came in together. They both looked so perfect.

"Could I buy you a drink?" he asked me. His hair was golden, not at all my type. Who wants two perfect blonds together. His eyes where gray and that just so happened to be my type.

"Don't need one" I said.

"That's makes me want to say I don't ether but I'm a sucker for a pretty lady like brandy" He waved the bar tender over. Johnny only smiled when he saw it didn't take me long to fetch this one, probably the hottest one here.

"Last chance" he waved his hand to the brandy in his hand, slapping a bill down on the table.

"If I did I'd think you were trying to get me drunk" I took away my smile.

"No, a women like you. She knows her standard's I wouldn't dare," he leaned in closer. "But I'm sure you have others ways to have fun"

I smiled then, what game the man has, Freaky game.

"A little cold out don't you think? What are you doing out here by yourself" I tapped my finger on the counter and leaned back on my hands.

"No just here with you today" I said.

"I like that" he said.

"You come here often" he raised his hands to put a stray hair behind my ear. I hated when they touched me but his was so, smooth. Well then, I might even want to keep his number. "Where you from?"

"I don't care to share" I said.

"Umm, I like you" he laughed. "Really like you"

"Where are you from?" I asked.

"From here and there, there to here, and know I'm here with the beautiful..." he trailed off.

"Rose," I smiled. "And you are...?"

"Dan" He leaned back.

"Oh your parents must have hated you" I sat up.

"Ouch, I know not exactly a great name" He laughed darkly.

"Don't worry about it" I got up and sat in his lap. "You smell so good nobody will care about your name" I kissed the side of his mouth.

He gave me a killer crocked smile. Made me feel... odd. I got up out of his lap.

"Well It's time for me to go" I started to walk off.

"Hold on. Couldn't you bless me with a number... we could meet up later on" He held out his business card. Smooth fucker.

"I'll call you" I took his card.

"Another minute?..." He shrugged his shoulder's. "Hate to pass up a chance with you"

"I think I'll pass. Nice talking to you … Dan. You know what? I'm just going to call you Gray" I sighed. What a name.

"Gray? For my eyes" he smiled.

"No, for your attitude, way to calm" I walked away into the lobby of the bar. I took that as a chance to peek up on Emmett since he obviously didn't get the number as fast as me. I peeked at him through the little inside window that seperated the lobby from the bar area. He was still talking to the beautiful golden red hair women.

I knew I was good but shit, I didn't think he would take this long. I turned away to fix my hair in the mirror and noticed that Gray wasn't sitting in his stool at the bar. He must have gone home, or to where ever he wanted to meet me at. No chance bud, there was no way I would be calling him. Not even for a quickie you gorgeous bastard. Honestly he rubbed me way to good, in the wrong way.

I turned around, and smacked into someone. I felt something cool run down my leg.

"What the hell?" I asked looking up at the person who bumped into me. It was the women sitting with Emmett.

"Oh my I'm sorry. I didn't see you over here – here let me help" She took her napkin to my leg where the white wine was now dripping down on.

"No thanks I'll do it myself thank you" I took the napkin from her and walked to the washroom. Little things like that never really fazed me but wasn't it a bitch? I ran the water and quickly cleaned it up. Using some tissue to dry my leg off.

I heard the door open from behind me.

"Hello didn't think I'd find you in here" I twisted my head to look behind me.

"Gray?" I asked confused.

"Ms. Rose" He answered back.

My heart speed up if only just a little, I'd had been in this situation before though I always had Leah or Tanya with me. This time I was by myself.

"I didn't expect to see you in here ether. You know this being the ladies room and all" I smiled even though I was anything but happy. Pictures of Royce flashed through my mind as Gray locked the washroom door.

"I just needed some more time with you, It really would be a waste to watch you go so soon. When I seen you haven't left I just thought... . Why not try my luck again?" He stepped closer. I stepped two back.

I knew there was something wrong with this man.

"I'll meet you at a hotel so you could spend some time with me I really have to go" I said.

"You don't remember me? I always sit a couple seats down from you, your hair so beautiful" He reached his hand out to touch my face. "Your skin so sexy" He touched my arm.

"And those legs" He put his hand on my thigh.

"Get the hell off of me" I pushed him back and made my way to the door.

"You think I don't see you come here, with your friends? Talking to all the guys then leaving them. Not me, Rose you can't just leave" He pulled me back and kissed against my neck and pulled at my shirt. I started puching and hitting as images of Royce and his drunk friends filled my mind with hate.

And fuck it I was scared. I heard a rip and a tear and soon my back was to his, lips on my chin. I got pushed to the floor but nothing was on top of me. I sat up to see Emmett dragging out Gray by his neck punching him and beating him out the washroom door. I got up and followed after them.

My head still ringing from memories better forgotten.

"Hey what happened! Rose!" Johnny yelled after us. I felt the air whip at my shoulder's as we got outside the bar. I could see Emmet kicking him on the floor.

"Emmett!" I began to pick up the past to reach him faster. "Emmett – shit" I tripped on something but shook it off and continued towards him.

I grabbed his hand as it flew forward and with it I knocked a little before him too with his hand.

"Fuck- Rose. What the hell are you doing!" Emmett pulled me to him before I could trip on Gray.

"Stop it! Em. Just relax" I said.

"What the hell do you mean just relax?" He threw his arms up miserably. "He was _touching _you, Rosalie"

"Hey you kid's!" Johnny yelled. "Hey Rose, both of you all of you leave. You know what trouble I could get into if my boss sees this? Rose you know I love you but... Not today. I'll take care of him just go I don't care what happened"

Emmett was still looking at me pissed off through and through. I went for his hand but he snatched it away from me still angry.

He started off for his motorcycle. When we got there he stopped and turned to me.

"He was touching you and you tell _me _to stop. You have no idea what it felt like to me seeing you like-"

"It's not all that serious" I interrupted him. _It's not the first time, just chill._

"What?!" Did I say that out loud? "Not the first time.." Emmet ran a hand through his curls.

"Yea it happened before it's not exactly such a shock the second or fifth time depending on how many people are there to have it count as once. So let's just forget it even happened. Thanks for helping me come on lets go" I went for the helmet.

"Rose.." Emmet reached out for me.

"Emmett lets just go, please?" I asked begging for him to just drop it. Yes it almost happened but, I'm kind of just accepting of these things now. After awhile you just get tired of over reaction.

He jumped on the bike after looking at me for a count of six seconds. I climbed on behind him and held on for dear life.

When we got back to my house I jumped off. "Driving pretty fast huh?" I took off the helmet.

"Rosalie! Does everything have to be a joke with you. What happened back there and all you could do is tell me to forget about it. Then tell me this is not the first time and I wasn't there to protect you from whoever-" He was arguing with me.

"Royce, that's who happened to me. I'm over it really and I know this is new to you, and I know this isn't what you expected to ever see of me but this," I pointed to myself. "This," I pointed to the knew bruise on my wrist "Is me. I didn't tell you to keep coming back"

"I wanted to" He said.

"Then don't complain when you get reactions from me that you don't understand" I sighed. "I'm over it really"

"But Rose what about me not being over it? I've never seen that before. Not even the shit I have to go through with my dad was ever that bad seeing you like that..."

"Just drop it" Tears were stinging at the back of my eyes. Although I was to strong for that. I took the key and opened my side door and stepped up.

"I love you, I can't just drop it" He laughed. I turned around.

"You can't tell no one" I said. Looking back at him. "Only you and Jasper, and my family knows"

"I wouldn't do that to you I love you" He came closer his huge body looking ridiculous for this situation he was putting us in.

"No you do-" I got cut off from his lips.

"Why won't you just let your self have it?" Emmett breathed on my lips. I opened my mouth to say something but shut it when nothing came out. He was to close, to me.

"Promise me you won't tell" I said.

"I won't tell anyone that you love me too" he came closer to the point that I could feel his belt on my stomach. I guess that worked too, and as much as I wanted to be a bitch, laugh and push him away I didn't. I didn't because I was tired of always having to speak for myself - and if the warm feeling in my stomach didn't spread over my body I would have pushed him away then pulled him in closer.

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**I hope you guys liked it, I don't know what made me do this but it just kind of happened. Tell me what you think about all of this, or should I just go back to Bella and Edward for the last chapter. Even though you will see all of them in the end chapter with Alice and Jasper. **

**Love you guys for sticking around3  
**


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